Ms. Jay profile picture

Ms. Jay

We do not die of death, we die of vertigo.

About Me



My name is Sunny. I love to see the first bloom of a wild rose, to smell the salt spray of an ocean breeze and to hear the laughter of little children at play. Oh no, wait, that's somebody else...I am an over-enthusiastic under-achiever, a jack of all trades but never an ace, a failed success and successful failure, a dreamer, a wanderer, a coward, bold, quiet, lazy, playful, confused and totally sane. I can believe it's not butter, I carry a thick rope in my bag at all times 'just in case', I dislike crudely-made sock puppets and bed sheets, and my greatest fear is shower curtains. *shudder* And I still won't sign your petition.

My Interests

I collect prosthetic limbs, pocket watches and spiked collars. I like to frolic with my black lace parasol named Elvi, polish my skull collection and play Hungry, Hungry Hippos. And I would like to eat your heart.

I'd like to meet:

I'm just a simple person looking for some simple friends... and I can kill.

Music:

There’s a dear little haunting tune playing constantly in my head, but doctor says I’m not allowed to talk about that any more.

Movies:

I enjoy the odd ‘mental-mindfuck’ movie, anything that grades existence on a curve. I'm a sucker for animation and stop motion. The Nightmare Before Christmas, The Crow, A Clockwork Orange, Edward Scissorhands, Donnie Darko, Interview with the Vampire and The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I also enjoy extremely tacky classic horror movies of old: Bela Lugosi in Dracula, Edward D. Wood Junior’s Plan Nine from Outer Space. The corny camera close-ups, the inconsistent backdrops, the clichéd plotlines, the dodgy special effects that were nothing short of hinky. Was there any greater bliss?

Television:

I enjoy watching crazed, animated seal cubs plot revenge upon the fashion industry with the assistance of amputated-limb sidekicks, the antics of two homosexual Muppets – the original odd couple of children’s television – and episodes featuring drunken, cynical Irish shop-owners torturing or abusing their well-meaning, friendly assistants/flatmates. But, above all television-related things, I am a religious Simpsons devotee.

Books:

I’m the clichéd comic-book geek who keeps original copies of James O’Barr’s The Crow comic series and Neil Gaiman’s Sandman in plastic bags to preserve their glossy sheen. (Please don't take my lunch money. I need that to bribe bullies with.) Amongst my favourite authors are Anne Rice, Stephen King, Poppy Z. Brite, Voltaire and John Milton. Count Olaf says that reading books is for ugly people, but I always assumed Danni Mullins was illiterate. You learn something new everyday…

Heroes:

Brandon Lee - I worship Brandon Lee. I have a shrine dedicated to him and his father Bruce Lee, full of statues and busts and posters and collectible figures. I even dug up his grave to steal one of his arms. I even went forward in time before my existence to ensure my birthday was the same day as the anniversary of his death. (And for all of you who are asking: "Why, if she loves Brandon Lee so much, didn't she travel through time to stop his death?" Shut up! That's why!) The Mad Hatter - Ever since I first watched Alice in Wonderland as a toddler, I’ve aspired to becoming a Hatter myself, the slow and steady intake of mercury soaking into my skull and poisoning my sanity. Edward D. Wood Junior – Any man who directs shonky horror flicks with has-beens or cheap pornos while looking fabulous in an angora sweater and gains the title of the Worst Director of All Time has my undying respect. Tim Curry – Tim Curry is not a man, but a god. Despite his list of tacky movies and crazy roles, he still manages to carry his charm, dignity, charisma, status and funky accent. Whether it’s providing the voice of a singing sumo, dancing about in fishnets as an alien transvestite from Transsexual Transylvania, dressing up as a crazy, sewer-residing clown, joining a crew of Muppets in the search for Treasure Island or playing the role of the Lord of Darkness, Tim Curry forever remains a legend. Samm - Samm is my life partner and, in a metaphorical sense, the wind beneath my wings. She doesn't eat meat though, so I'm guessing she's just a fantastically realistic-looking cyborg...

My Blog

New Blog URL

Howdy sexy losers, Looks like I've changed my blog URL. Just because I can. For all of you who have no life and find some profound wisdom in my mindless ramblings (for God knows why - perhap...
Posted by Ms. Jay on Sun, 21 Oct 2007 08:42:00 PST

Long Time No See

Greetings all, Just spreading the word that I'm not much of a frequent myspacer of late, and thus, in a shift from the melancholy to the warped humour, I have a new blog that has replaced this one. C...
Posted by Ms. Jay on Sun, 13 May 2007 07:15:00 PST

Reflections of an Empty Void

Alone. So very, very alone.
Posted by Ms. Jay on Wed, 07 Feb 2007 05:24:00 PST

Why Heaven Should Be

Heaven should exist just because my father is too wonderful to deserve this world.
Posted by Ms. Jay on Tue, 28 Nov 2006 10:05:00 PST

Ms. Jay's Top Ten Hates of November

Greetings human units, As you can probably detect by the context of my subsequent list of dislikes, I had a bad day on the internet encountering countless emo preteen tramp-trash with usernames l...
Posted by Ms. Jay on Fri, 24 Nov 2006 05:38:00 PST

My Batman

It may sound a little vain, a little shallow and a little cliché, but it's nice to have someone remind you that you're worth something when you think you've completely fallen apart. It's comforting to...
Posted by Ms. Jay on Thu, 09 Nov 2006 06:59:00 PST

A Moment of Sympathy

"Is God willing to prevent evil but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able no...
Posted by Ms. Jay on Wed, 08 Nov 2006 03:35:00 PST

Freedom to Breed is Intolerable

*Author's Note* If you are an over-sensitive idiot who just wants to tell me I'm not a very nice person because I'm opinionated and sick of being used by the system, stop reading now  or remove the b...
Posted by Ms. Jay on Tue, 07 Nov 2006 11:47:00 PST

Hell is...

...other people.
Posted by Ms. Jay on Mon, 06 Nov 2006 01:09:00 PST

And now for something completely different...

My mind's a whir, a chaotic chorus of infinite noise. So let's talk about something completely irrelevant: the humble Slinky. Say it with me, all together: "Slinky..." Now smile like you me...
Posted by Ms. Jay on Sat, 07 Oct 2006 05:45:00 PST