Ali profile picture

Ali

Hit 'em with your purse, Zubrus!!

About Me



I enjoy motivational speaches given by Mr. Bill Murray. I quote them frequently. I've also got two tickets to paradise.

My Interests

Parenthood, the NHL, Rock and Roll Jeopardy, Regular Jeopardy, online Jeopardy, Twizzler Pull and Peels, Homeland Security, high profile court cases, Grays Papaya, good burgers, Memphis BBQ, vintage jewlery, grandparent stories, tailgating, belching contests, good company, threes company, not bad company-they were terrible, lipgloss, Lorenzo, and anything "Southern Pecan" flavored./

I'd like to meet:

Ben Franklin. No, John Adams. No, wait. Ben Franklin and Ryan Seacrest.

Music:

.. Sun Studios Alum, Rockabilly, Psychobilly, 40s Crooners, well-polished Swing, Big Band, Taproom Honkeytonk, Heavily Marketed 70s Metal, Punkrock, Drunkrock, Irish Drunkrock, Indie Rock Pioneers, The British Invasion (minus the Beatles. I hate the Beatles...except for Ringo. He always looked as if he just knew they sucked) Early Sub-Pop, Matador, Merge, Heavy Metal, Hair Metal, Old School Rap, One Hit Wonders, Hip Hop, Top 40 cover bands, Tribute Bands, Post Hardcore, 80s New Wave, and the Kidz Bop collection. I blow kisses in the direction of Denton, TX.

Movies:

In no particular order... Beer League, Drop Dead Gorgeous, Slapshot, Stripes, Johnny Dangerously, Easy Money, Jaws, Victory, Super Troopers, Dirty Harry, Towering Inferno, Bachelor Party, Kentucky Fried Movie, Blues Brothers, Spinal Tap, Old School, Adventures In Babysitting, KIDCO, Hockey Night, Rock and Roll High School, The Jerk, Better Off Dead, Sixteen Candles, Lucky Number Slevin, Say Anything, Fahrenhype 911, Beverly Hills Cop, Buffalo 66, Fast Times At Ridgemont High, Goonies, Gummo, Kill Bill, Miracle on Ice, Cannonball Run(s), Midnight Madness, Escape from Alcatraz, Young Frankenstein, the entire Monty Python Catalog, Docu-dramas on Lifetime staring Valerie Bertanelli and/or Nancy McKeon, Over The Top, Meatballs, Karate Kid, Eddie and The Cruisers, Friday Night Lights, Soul Plane, Pegleg's Barmitzvah, Heavy Metal Parking Lot. Any movie where the plot crescendo is highlighted by a killer Kenny Loggins joint.CHRISTOPHER PENN R.I.P

Television:

No Reservations, Top Mother F'n Chef, Kenny Vs. Spenny, Dr. Phil, the Soup, Flight of the Conchords, Bizzare Eats with Andrew Pepitone, Monday Night Football, Intervention, Paula's Home Cooking, HBO Boxing.

Books:

Kitchen Confidential, The Nasty Bits, and pretty much anything uttered from Anthony Bordain's brilliant skull, all works Chuck Klosterman, Post Office by Bukowski, Witness For The Prosecution by Amber Frey (wow, she's dumb...not so much her, but more me for reading it)A Drink With Shane MacGowan and The Dirt. And I'd like to further note that I'm really really angstrated over book I've waited the better part of 20 years for (All Over But The Shouting by Jim Walsh) which was such a complete screaming unorganized piece-of-shit dissapointment...if your with me, hit me up. I'm dying to discuss this over a few cheap beers.

Heroes:

(and Bear "141"...serves you right, Dumbass.)

My Blog

My Boy. The Genius.

My favorite Poem This Year: Flowers. By Nolan. Flowers are beautiful Flowers are sweet When you pick them up, they have dirty feet Those are no feet, they are roots They suck up nutrients To make tast...
Posted by Ali on Wed, 28 May 2008 05:12:00 PST

Booooo-ring Youuuu Is Easy Cause Your Gullible.

Do you have any special talents? I can still tapdance, still got my splits (which aint’ so bad considering its post-childbirth), and I used to be able to score a goal on a cornerkick more often...
Posted by Ali on Wed, 09 Apr 2008 02:32:00 PST

Ode To St. Greatadventure

ST. BONAVENTURE UNIVERSITY 1.) Where did you get late-night food ?S&G (Slow and Greasy) Pizza and Subs...pizza made with ragu and wonder bread, yet the largest 10 cent chicken wings I ever did se...
Posted by Ali on Fri, 16 Mar 2007 05:33:00 PST

Dave Harrison said something about 8-balls for A-holes...

1. Put your music player on shuffle.2. Press forward for each question.3. Use the song title as the answer to each question.4. NO CHEATING.1. How am I feeling today?"Hotter Than Hell" Kiss  (eh, ...
Posted by Ali on Wed, 17 Jan 2007 09:44:00 PST

I'm gonna call her, than I pull the mack down

Let me tell you about my friend Brooke. We share a cubical wall. She speaks with the eloquence of a long shoreman. She has pretty hair. We get along very well. With one exception: She doesn't think it...
Posted by Ali on Wed, 27 Dec 2006 06:12:00 PST

My Year In Review

JANUARY 1. Who kissed you at midnight? My son.  I don't know which was worse, watching Dick Clarke stroke in another year, or watching the kid stroke out trying to get at least 2 ...
Posted by Ali on Thu, 16 Nov 2006 06:07:00 PST

Billy Joel has no talent, and preaches it to the masses.

There is exactly one reason why fm radio on Long Island stinks out loud. If you guessed Billy Joel, you win!. You can..t escape this clown. Its bad enough driving home from night school hoping to ...
Posted by Ali on Fri, 27 Oct 2006 06:50:00 PST

Funniest thing I heard all month...

Anthony's impersonation of Damone.Hit me up if you know what the hell I'm talking bout. I'm still crying.
Posted by Ali on Fri, 27 Oct 2006 06:14:00 PST

and whaaaaaaat's the deal with racial profiling???

Okay, here's how this works: Guy robs a bank. Witnesses say he was a black guy wearing a red t-shirt. You get the news from dispatch with the above-mentioned discription. You see a black guy, red t-sh...
Posted by Ali on Thu, 21 Sep 2006 12:10:00 PST

They Have A Commercial! Beat that, tough guy.

Don't take it from me, take it from Mr. Sam Mother Fucking Phillips!!!!
Posted by Ali on Fri, 08 Sep 2006 02:04:00 PST