Dylan profile picture

Dylan

About Me

Haiku -I like Mike Patton - I wish he was a woman - I'd not be confused

My Interests

I find Dane Cook interesting. For instance, once he yelled and flapped his arms. People laughed. It defies all logic.

I'd like to meet:

I'd like to meat a gymnast. I'd like to meat Fairuza Balk. I'd like to meat a black woman... oh meet? Well I have always wanted to punch Nicolas Cage in the face.

Music:

Death Metal and J-Pop. Nothing in between. Gray zones are for liberals and fat people.

Movies:

The usuals... Bring it on, What a girl wants, Euro-trip, Mean Girls, Bring it on again... Y'know... the usuals.

Television:

...is for diabetics and fat people.

Books:

I once hit Seth Massmann with a book. That was my favorite book ever.

Heroes:

Slayer, Satan, Martin Luther, Marilyn Manson, Pontious Pilate, the Jews and myself.

My Blog

A few little known facts about women.

1. They can't drive.2. They can't read.3. They don't breathe.4. They are, in fact, made of dozens of smaller women.5. Some of them let Chris DeMonch have sex with them.6. They're suprisingly excellent...
Posted by Dylan on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Why does my junk taste like dog?

Why does my junk taste like dog? The night had to be good.  My liver hurts, Ive a pocket full of singles, and no roommates by virtue of my actions.  Pro: Taking the train back from AC inst...
Posted by Dylan on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

tttttttttires

con : being too tired to sleeppro : I needed to wake up ealry to switch rooms with bfd.con : I have to deal with switching rooms today with bfd.pro : peanut butter sammich and a glass of milk for brea...
Posted by Dylan on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Theres something quite unsleepable about sleeping in this diagonal bed.

Theres something quite unsleepable about sleeping in this diagonal bed. It was something in this phrase that woke we up this morning. Not BFD and Lordy tramping about my room. According to Lor...
Posted by Dylan on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

SUPERBALL SUNDAY

Despite being mysteriously ill people WILL show up for the Eagles game. I suppose I'll throw on my luchador mask and proceed to house my puny punk friends with superballs. If only I were making this...
Posted by Dylan on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST