The Pirate Neckbeard profile picture

The Pirate Neckbeard

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

I dislike updating profiles. With that said, I like lofts and riding my bike at night. Oh and I wish I had a submarine, and somewhere to cruise around in my submarine. I like building things, but dislike digging. I also like painkillers and muscle relaxers. I dislike writing papers, but enjoy very much writing missives. I think that all of the politicians in the world should be sealed inside a concrete vault under a mountain for 10,000 years, sort of like radioactive waste. I am a packrat. I like bubbly water and juice. I am also a beer snob. I think trees are awesome and we should fill the world with green things. Once when I was tripping I saw an Ent.

My Interests

Languages, woodworking, architecture and furniture design, snuggling, burping, giving/receiving massages, soft things, good sex, cacti, co-operative living, trying not to get uptight, trying not to go insane, google earth and maps in general, politics and the end of the world.And for all of you who don't know, George W. Bush is NOT from Texas.

I'd like to meet:

A grandmother who loves chocolate donuts and has a paralyzing fear of billboards. And all of the (former) candidates for Texas governer so I could make fun of the each of them in turn. And Vladimir Putin so I could kick him in the nuts. And Rick Perry so I could dump a Sysco economy-sized tub of mayonnaise on him. However I would never, under any circumstances whatsoever, like to meet Dick Cheney, ever. I think it would be interesting to meet myself when I'm 35. Anyone with compassion, wisdom, and courage.

Music:

To list them all would be tedious and pretentious, so for now I am obsessed with: Of Montreal Del the Funky Homosapien Beirut Fela Kuti Spoon Lhasa de Sela Crazy mix CD's

Movies:

Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. That is all I have to say. Also, what the hell is The City of Lost Children about?

Television:

Cartoons, nature shows, or any show where celebrities humiliate themselves. Cable TV news is pure poison for the soul.

Books:

The Tin Drum, Dog Years, Marcovaldo, The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, God Bless You Mr. Rosewater, Lord of the Rings, Cryptonomicon, Schroedinger's Cat, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Hocus Pocus, The Brothers Karamazov, Cosmicomics, The Baron in the Trees, Marcovaldo, If on a Winter's Night a Traveler . . ., Sophie's Choice, Catch-22, Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72, Invisible Cities, R.W. Southern's History of the Middle Ages, The Age of Religious Wars, One Hundred Years of Solitude, The Kalevala, A Field Guide to Sprawl, Chateaubriand's Rene, La citta e la casa, The Alphabetic Labyrinth, The Meeting at Telgte, Language and Thought, L'Etranger, Huis Clos, A Long Day's Journey into Night, Reefer Madness.

Heroes:

Antoni Gaudi, Jakob Grimm, Alvar Aalto, Fela Anikulapo Kuti, Bill Watterson, Gary Larson, Cincinnatius, USMC Maj. Gen. Smedly Butler, Richard St. Barbe Baker, and anyone capable of thinking for themselves, speaking their mind, and doing what they know is right. And of course the one and only Dave Tucker.

My Blog

dreams

So I had a dream where Fergus, or Stephen, I can't remember which one, had angered some sort of ghost who was living in our house. Apparently they had desecrated some holy spot while we were all livin...
Posted by The Pirate Neckbeard on Wed, 28 Feb 2007 06:39:00 PST

Watch out vegans

Your Monster Profile Wild Dictator You Feast On: Grass You Lurk Around In: Swamps You Especially Like to Torment: Vegans What's Your Monster Name?...
Posted by The Pirate Neckbeard on Thu, 02 Feb 2006 08:36:00 PST

Worst hangover ever

Sweet fornicating Mary, this is without a doubt the worst hangover I've ever experienced. Even looking back and forth between the keyboard and monitor is making me nauseous. I would very much like to ...
Posted by The Pirate Neckbeard on Sat, 03 Dec 2005 07:01:00 PST

I shoulda figured . . .

<table border='0' cellpadding='5' cellspacing='0' width='600'><tr><td><img src='http://images.quizfarm.com/1106407774Ron.bmp'></t d><td> You scored as <b>Ron W...
Posted by The Pirate Neckbeard on Fri, 26 Aug 2005 12:07:00 PST

smoochie smooch

You Are a Romantic Kiss! You are an idealist, and unsurprisingly, you give the ideal kiss Your kiss causes almost anyone to fall in love with you And to be honest, you need to be falling a litt...
Posted by The Pirate Neckbeard on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

despair + convenience = mild satisfaction

I recently switched majors from architecture to linguistsics, and the fact that I spent two years toiling away at the former which has no application to the latter filled me with some amount of despai...
Posted by The Pirate Neckbeard on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Nicotine withdrawal can be mitigated by lots of wine and yummy pasta

Well I quit smoking (cigarettes) the other day, in Italy strangely enough, where everybody between the ages of 12 and 76 smokes. Btw, FYI, Grappa is Italian for rubbing alcohol, and should not be cons...
Posted by The Pirate Neckbeard on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

The hip thing 115 years ago

I laughed when I saw the self portraits of Van Gogh and his artist friends in the Museum here in Amsterdam. They all have the same beard. My beard. That scraggly, bright red goatee. Maybe this is why ...
Posted by The Pirate Neckbeard on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Meglior del sesso

I have discovered over here in Italy a previously unidentified species of mullet. This new species, which I have termed the "skullet," belongs to old italian men who can't give up the mulletal styling...
Posted by The Pirate Neckbeard on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

What's with that anyway?

Why does the myspace blog thingee now allow you to CHOOSE the time and date at which you post your blog? This seems like it could provide needless opportunity for deception, corruption, nepotism, what...
Posted by The Pirate Neckbeard on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST