The Greatest American Zero profile picture

The Greatest American Zero

Believe it or not it's just me....sigh

About Me

Does it really matter about me? It's really all about you, you know?

adopt your own virtual pet!Visit my movie production blog at: this site!

My Interests

Dungeons and Dragons, rpgs,arsenic and old lace, rioting, blind ping pong with rocks instead of balls, winning a years supply of diapers, peeing in nature, finding holes in my socks, braille reading on pimply boys faces, eating with my fingers, putting tape up my nose, carrying jumper cables on the bus, throwing up on complete strangers, laughing at old people, getting a fourth wish out of my damn genie lamp, batting at string, human pinatas, creating games at work to amuse myself, giants, midgets,pi,dreaming in other languages,consecrating the house with my blood before a party, being devoted to my friends, even the really mean ones,filling my head with useless information, trying to be a better person, thinking and reflection on wrongful deeds, having at least one homeless friend, sleep9ing with coworkers,gunnery seargants screaming orders, press,press, and more press...

I'd like to meet:

Sergio Leonne, Dead people carrying guns, indubitably, princesses, action adventurers, girls who squirt, trusting folk that have shady pasts, violent inmates in cages, Mr tree and his hundred thousand branches, Mrs tree, baby trees, the tiger that ripped out Siegfrieds(or was it Roys)F@..$$%n THROAT!!! Dungeon Masters, Lenny, Squiggy and the gang, my parole officer,hustlers, cheap tricks, uncle Buck,that hooker that stole my lighter last Saturday...

Music:

to my ears....

Movies:

sex lies and videotape, tony rome, the most terrible day in my life, god is great...i'm not, the birds,bad lieutenant, the last starfighter, black rain, hellboy, schindlers list, waking life, the godfather, apocalypse now, dawn of the dead...both of them, night of the living dead, all the evil deads, and my personal fave ...mazes and monsters, california split, silent runnings, broadway danny rose, annie hall, husbands and wives, manhattan murder mystery, breaking the waves, tie me up tie me down, gosford park, y tu mama tambien, wild horses, ghostbusters, back to the future 1, groundhog day, lost in translation, elephant, gerry, tootsie, kramer vs kramer, smoke ii, robocop, ed wood, crumb, 12 monkeys, jumanji, jurassic park iii, die hard, stakeout, satyricon, alphaville, most herzog..that crazy bastard, tampopo, any godzilla, mst3k, any and all sergio leonne, rashomon, seven samurai, where the buffalo roam, fear and loathing, black hole, clash of the titans, blame it on rio, terrance malick films,island of dr. moreau(remake), bertolucci, polanski's the fearless vampire hunters or rosemarys baby or macbeth or knife in the water, the entity, the thing, the last american virgin, just one of the guys,lost in translation, girl with the pearl earring, atl, 2001;a space odyssey, starship troopers, ...

Television:

just movies....and netflix dvd season compilations.Commercials ruined it, and oh let's not forget the grade A reality shows and fix it bake it seal it wax it answer it 'suck it fuck it' TV shows.(Homage to Ken Ichigawa)The only commercials I want to see are at your local multiplex...bitches, huh! !!!!!!!! Fuck TIVO too.... haters??.... huh!(Please, no hate mail for these incendiary statements, believe me, I'm terrified of you already.)

Books:

Brazil by updike, late hemmingway, basically a lot of americana..some non-fiction, chinese lit., comics, R.A. Salvatore,David Sedaris...

Heroes:

The man who invented polyethelhydrafate and the woman who created red dye..12

My Blog

What a Wonderful Day for a Existential Paradox

- I Heart Huckabees (2004)A lot of people I talked to despised this film...I don't get it! It reminded me of Douglas Adam's Dirk Gently Holistic Detective. A review I read described it as a cross betw...
Posted by The Greatest American Zero on Mon, 11 Jun 2007 08:35:00 PST

extended absence

- James and the Giant Peach (1996)...or Disney and the Same Tired Plot. Is there an extended family member in the world of Disney that isn't an awful tyrant? Evil aunts, evil uncles, evil stepmother.....
Posted by The Greatest American Zero on Fri, 08 Jun 2007 07:50:00 PST

What a Wonderful Day for a Spoof and a Spree

- History of the World: Part I (1981) A lovely spoof of some major events in history...an insta-classic!!! My favorites were the inquisition musical and Jews in Space!!! It's good to be the ...
Posted by The Greatest American Zero on Mon, 28 May 2007 07:55:00 PST

What a Wonderful Day for Remakes

- Nosferatu: Phantom der Nacht (1979)A very stylistic and faithful remake of the original. Is it better? No, not really. Herzog proved to me this was a loving and shameless retelling but I think for t...
Posted by The Greatest American Zero on Sat, 26 May 2007 02:15:00 PST

What a Wonderful Day to Work Through the Classics

- High and Low (1963)A Kurosawa movie that has nothing to do with samurai but everything to do with the seedy underbelly of heroin junkies in Japan. This noir classic is one part tense thriller a...
Posted by The Greatest American Zero on Fri, 25 May 2007 06:50:00 PST

What a Wonderful Day for Some Hodge-Podge

- Vampyr (1932)A vampire hunter goes after a a matronly vampire who sort of looks like Eleanor Fitzgerald. Incredible use of light and shadow, over exposure and overlapped image filmmaking. That said....
Posted by The Greatest American Zero on Wed, 23 May 2007 07:01:00 PST

What a Wonderful Night to go to the Cemetary

It's that time of year again. The Hollywood Cemetery hosts a movie night every Saturday in the summer and early fall. The profits go to the upkeep and restoration of the grounds which recently changed...
Posted by The Greatest American Zero on Sun, 20 May 2007 11:49:00 PST

What a Wonderful Night for a Mummy

- Bubba Ho-tep (2003)An insta-classic! I can't remember too many horror films that have such lively and memorable characters as this. Elvis Presly? JFK? OMG!!!! This has the perfect balance of horror ...
Posted by The Greatest American Zero on Fri, 18 May 2007 06:31:00 PST

What a Wonderful Night to be Eaten Alive

- Grizzly Man (2005)A question for anyone who's seen this...what do you think? Was he justified in his ultimately fruitless quest to become one with the bear? Herzog leaves it up for the viewer to dec...
Posted by The Greatest American Zero on Wed, 16 May 2007 08:42:00 PST

What a Wonderful Night for a War

- Coup de Grace (1976)Bolshevik Revolutions and dysfunctional relationships! Who can ask for more? If you're into a pretty interesting slice of History and want some some hard core drama with that I s...
Posted by The Greatest American Zero on Tue, 15 May 2007 07:57:00 PST