LePandaLani profile picture

LePandaLani

I would never stick pins in your pretty wings to keep you.

About Me


When I was kid, I used to think that my stuffed animals would come to life and kill me in my sleep. I tried to be extra nice to them in hopes that I could curtail their murderous intentions with kindness. I'd kiss them before I went to sleep and then I would lay them on their backs so that they could sleep too.
After they were settled, I would pray to God to protect me from them.
Every time someone gave me a stuffed animal, it would be a bittersweet gift.
The only stuffed animal I've managed to hold on to is my Popples. She was (is) my favorite. But she has weird plastic eyes that look like they're always watching me.
Sometimes, I put her face down so I can get some privacy.
I love her too much to get rid of her despite the fact that she poses a constant threat of eminent death and/or other harm to my person. I console myself with the idea that if she was going to kill me, she probably would have done it by now.
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I edited my profile with very little regard for the truth !
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My Interests

This boy I love.

This boy who loves me.

&hearts SB &hearts
gnomes
obituaries
stalkery adventures
rope
old tires
animals that hibernate
Willy Wonka Candies
sex
drugs
rock 'n roll
pie
Frankie Yankovic, the King of Polka
safety pins
toast
the word "sausage"

I'd like to meet:

Boys that read.

Girls that drive stick.

Nightman.

Music:

Ask George.

Movies:

Amelie
Casablanca
Crash
Dogma
Ghost World
The Great Dictator
Home for the Holidays
The Major and the Minor (Ginger Rogers)
The Opposite of Sex
Princess Bride
You Can't Take it With You

Television:

No.

Books:

redin is fer smarte peple.

Picture books.

And stuff on The List.

Heroes:

Paris Hilton. She paved the way for leggy, blonde heiresses to have shitty television/movie/music careers. Before Paris, leggy, blonde heiresses were doomed to living a life of luxury and excess out of the public eye, never having the opportunity to expose their twats to the masses much less the opportunity to act badly in slasher flicks or sing poorly on pop records. Long live Paris. She's proof that you don't have to be poor to be white trash. *tear*

My Blog

God hates pandas

God hates Pandas. That's why He's made them asexual and completely disinterested in perpetuating the Panda race. But people (namely Asians) just love to meddle in His plans for extinction. If they ...
Posted by LePandaLani on Fri, 27 Jun 2008 09:04:00 PST

julio

I've been obsessed with my FICO score lately.  Does this mean I'm getting old? I have also been complaining about how my feet hurt lately and I find myself overly concerned with the irregularity ...
Posted by LePandaLani on Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:06:00 PST

Bibliophiles (we get off on books)

I like books. In fact, I worked in a library for three years.  Now I am working at a book store.  I know.  I know.  I ought to learn a new trick.  (Preferably a le...
Posted by LePandaLani on Sat, 22 Mar 2008 05:01:00 PST

Three-way

Last night Jonathan and I slept with another girl. Her name is Jasmine.  She's a cute, young, blonde/brunette with the prettiest big brown eyes.  She's a total sweetheart.  But a comple...
Posted by LePandaLani on Tue, 11 Mar 2008 05:30:00 PST

ms. parker said

Mortal Enemy      Let another cross his way-She's the one will do the weeping!Little need I fear he'll straySince I have his heart in keeping-Let another hail him dear-Little chanc...
Posted by LePandaLani on Sat, 23 Feb 2008 02:20:00 PST

i want to break your spleen (jonathan)


Posted by LePandaLani on Thu, 14 Feb 2008 12:18:00 PST

i put your shirt on your pillow and hug it every night because i’m too damn needy

before you never exisited.how did i breathe without you reminding me to remember?look at me:I'm some lame-o girl who loves some guy too too muchhow original.imsodamnpathetic.i should be a big girl.bet...
Posted by LePandaLani on Fri, 11 Jan 2008 07:01:00 PST

Golden

Hi.Long time no blog.So I'll lunge once more into the void with this...just in case there is someone out there who wants to know.A synopsis:Jonathan and I ran away from home to Vermont for no real rea...
Posted by LePandaLani on Fri, 19 Oct 2007 03:07:00 PST

Im a creep. Im a weird-o.

So, last night, mid-conversation, Jonathan turns on the bedroom light suddenly then sits up and stares out the bedroom door and into the kitchen.   After staring into the dark kitchen for a ...
Posted by LePandaLani on Fri, 17 Aug 2007 01:52:00 PST

INSULTING!

So I posted this asian music video. Mr. Bill watched it then emailed me a query about other Asian music videos...Fuck. I was so hoping this was going to be the music video I've forgotten abou...
Posted by LePandaLani on Fri, 08 Jun 2007 11:36:00 PST