Mr Roberts - ProfilesArchive

About Me

This world was never meant for one as beautiful as me. Born in Chad to Isthmian refugees I was plucked from obscurity in April 1976 to front the David Cassidy tribute band Could It Be Forever. Shortly after this I invented hazelnut yoghurt. Newly rich, I embarked on a series of impetuous stormy marriages, chiefly to raven-haired flamenco dancers, resulting in penury and 15 lovely children, of whom the eldest, Aesop, is now an Oscar-winning submariner. Fenella, 3, is a barrister. I promptly bounced back with the best-selling self-help book How To Get Up Of A Morning, soon to be a major motion picture starring Muffin the Mule and HR Pufnstuf. Tagline: "You think it's easy. That's because you're simple". After this I attempted to impress Winona Ryder by declaring war on Norway but they weren't having it and neither was she. Then I declared war on China but lost due to insufficient overcoats and difficulties with the language. In my leisure time I stare at a massive TV. One day I will switch it on. Dark and enigmatic, with no sense of humour, I own four penguins; they roam the grounds making a sound a bit like this: "Pheeeep".SEE also: SCALALAND My Space..This profile was edited with Thomas' myspace editor™ V2.5

My Interests

Mermaids

I'd like to meet:

Christopher Saint, Kristin Scott Thomas

Music:

Bowie; Dexys Midnight Runners; Al Green; Grinderman; Feist; Arcade Fire; Lewis Furey; Walker Brothers; Scott Walker; Kate Bush; Joni Mitchell; "More Than A Woman" by The Bee Gees but not by Tavares; "Sister Ray" by The Velvets; "Cruisin'" by Smokey Robinson; The Delfonics; Bowie; Elvis; Lavender Diamond; David Sylvian; Joan As Police Woman; The Long Blondes; The Czars; Mercury Rev; Julie London; Jack; Angus and Julia Stone; The Killers despite y'know; The Blue Nile; Mary Margaret O'Hara; The Partridge Family; Banshees circa "Juju"; "Metaphorically Yours" by Sir Ed Harcourt; I Am Kloot; Bowie; T.Rex; Iggy; Roxy Music; Comsat Angels; The Sound; Elbow; Supertramp; 10CC; Luna; Loney, Dear; The National; Bat for Lashes; Bowie; "Couldn't Love You More" by John Martyn; "Love Is Here And Now You're Gone" by The Supremes; "Pretty Vacant"; The Carpenters

Movies:

Catpeople 2046 Atonement Control Art School Confidential Black Snake Moan Dogville Adaptation Talk Radio Manon 70 Bitter Moon The Man Who Fell To Earth The Prestige Babel The Departed Jules Et Jim Fight Club Fat City Roger Dodger Carlito's Way Mulholland Drive Powell and Pressburger L'Atalante Sin City Betty Blue Pierrot Le Fou Crash (the Cronenberg one) In The Mood For Love Ghostworld Belle de Jour Velvet Goldmine Walkabout Closer Young Adam My Summer Of Love Last Resort Beautiful Girls Robinson In Space Secretary 2 ou 3 Choses que je sais d'elle Swingers Anchorman One From The Heart Wings Of Desire Amelie Scandal The End Of The Affair Vertigo Rear Window Last Tango Simple Men La Lectrice Death In A French Garden I Want You The Hairdresser's Husband Ellie Parker United 93 Little Miss Sunshine Last Orders

Television:

American Dad Family Guy The Shield Studio 60 on Sunset Strip Nip/Tuck Buffy & Angel Dirt Spooks Saxondale Smack The Pony Six Feet Under NYPD Blue 24 The West Wing Married With Children Letterman Larry Sanders Show "Bailey On Warhol" Anything I'm on

Books:

UNDER MILK WOOD Larkin Mailer Miller Houellebecq Fitzgerald ALL THE USUAL DEAD WHITE MALES Baudelaire WB Yeats Dorothy Parker Sam Shepard Lorrie Moore C Palahniuk Donald Barthelme Daniel Clowes Bret Easton Ellis AM Homes De Lillo TC Boyle George Saunders TS Eliot Brian Patten Louis MacNeice Steve Erickson Walter Mosley Tennessee Williams

Heroes:

Low

My Blog

Morning Has Broken/ London

Woken by the cheery smile of The Ivorian post-woman, bearing parcels. And bills. We discuss Drogba's return to form for the third time this week. It is common ground. She trundles on her way thr...
Posted by Mr Roberts on Tue, 06 Feb 2007 09:55:00 PST

Sound and Vision

For sound go here: www.hollowblue.com/panic.zip For vision go here: www.repetitionbowie.com x...
Posted by Mr Roberts on Thu, 14 Dec 2006 08:21:00 PST

The Haiku: Season Two

"What are you doing?" Knocking out a few haiku. "You are eccentric." "Again with the haiku?" I'm stockpiling. The weekend. "Ah. Lazy, yet not." "What are the subjects?" Everythi...
Posted by Mr Roberts on Sun, 19 Nov 2006 09:47:00 PST

HAIKU

HAIKU The end of summer Is not really a sad thing It's much worse than that * When spiders emerge For the dismal new season It can be a jolt* The kids back at school Students back at ind...
Posted by Mr Roberts on Thu, 19 Oct 2006 08:50:00 PST

Ravelogue

i. It was with some relish that, at five, a fatigued Ravel closed down the gallery for the night. It had been another dreary British winters day, with the white space where he worked playing host to a...
Posted by Mr Roberts on Sat, 29 Jul 2006 10:07:00 PST

Reindeer

1 Sure, the view was impressive. When we got there, she said, So has it worked? Has it changed your life? I took a moment to consider her question. The journey, in the car, had been liberating. Then w...
Posted by Mr Roberts on Fri, 21 Jul 2006 12:29:00 PST