HASTUR - ProfilesArchive

About Me

FIRST, LET'S BE CLEAR ON SOMETHING!
If I can't see your profile, I won't add you. If, in my opinion, your profile shows you to be a whack-job, I won't add you. Go away.
He-Who-Is-Not-To-Be-Named cannot be described or quantified in terms any bipedal hairless ape can understand. I am Unspeakable.
Get your own Tabasco sauce enema at BlingyBlob.com
Hastur is the Lord of Interstellar Spaces, the vast gulf of yawning limitless blackness that stretches to chaotic infinity. I reside in my lair at the bottom of the Lake of Hali, near dead Carcosa, in the constellation of Taurus. Those of you who seek me, who quest for me, you have but to speak my name aloud three times when the seasons are right and the stars in alignment. Hastur will hear your call, Hastur will never forget, until that fateful, dreadful time when I come to claim your entire existence for my own purposes. My kith and kin, those who also lie in wait beyond the veils of negative existence, pursue their various desires for purposes which are small and trivial. Not Hastur the Unspeakable. I shall not be satisfied until I have re-molded all of your reality into a pattern of my own design.
I edited my profile with the severed head of Dr. Josef Mengele, and Thomas' Myspace Editor V4.4 Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Film | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Videos | Music | Comedy | Classifieds

My Interests

Really loathsome and disgusting ritual practices. Drawings held once a month to see which cult member grosses me out the most. Winner gets a new Toyota Prius hybrid (you pay the taxes...think of it as being on a game show).

I'd like to meet:

NEW CULTIST WORSHIPPERS! Those Tcho-Tcho guys are pretty pathetic. Cannibals, incestuous, lousy hygiene, ugly as a baboon's buttcheeks. They can barely form a coherent sentence, so I'd like to hook up with some higher class followers. Also people who's I.Q. is higher than their shoe size, people with dry senses of humor, and good back-rub givers (preferrably the Double-X chromosome variety of the species).

It is possible to pray directly to Me, you lucky mortals. Use "I am Unspeakable" as your devotional invocation on AIM.

ADMONITO: This profile is for fun. I'm not interested in exploring the negative aspects of the human psyche, or learning about yours. I can tell when someone is being comical/satirical, and when it's an indication of something disturbing. People who enjoy horror themes in literature or other media: welcome.

If your profile is laden with references to deliberate nihilism, profanity, excrement, self-destructiveness, anarchistic behavior, Christianity-bashing, political extremism, or just general over-the-top dark weirdness...move on. I don't accept those types of friends. Free expression is good, but a little of the above-mentioned goes a loooong way. Nothing personal, but my screws aren't loose, and I don't want to see it in others.

Music:

Bing Crosby. Actually, most music these days is raucous dissonance with annoyingly repetitive meter and stupid lyrics. I like ancient bands you've probably never heard of.

Movies:

Japanese rubber monster-suit flicks. (It's called "Kaiju.)

Television:

Gaaahhhhh! And people say looking at me will damage your sanity?!?

Okay, 24 and the Sopranos rock.

Books:

They get wet underwater.

Heroes:

You're kidding, right? br

My Blog

Musings of a Trenchant Observer

You humans are infinitely entertaining. Your species is in the habit of preforming two of the most ridiculously humorous activities the universe has ever witnessed on a regular basis. Namely: 1) takin...
Posted by HASTUR on Mon, 23 Oct 2006 10:30:00 PST

Cult matters

Malevolent greetings, dear faithful. I am happy to report that our beloved cult ( that is, YOUR cult, I'm just the object of your devotions) is moving into Phase 2 of Sub-Section III of Art...
Posted by HASTUR on Mon, 11 Sep 2006 11:57:00 PST

Satan on Myspace

It had to happen, sooner or later. I was offered a friend request by someone with a profile representing himself as Satan. I accepted; it is not my interest to expend any energy to engage ...
Posted by HASTUR on Mon, 14 Aug 2006 08:23:00 PST

Hastur's Myspace Survey. Fun!

Hastur's Myspace Survey. Fun! Yes, written by me, with substantial input from Sorcerer. I offer modest apologies for anything that seems critical or sarcastic. ...No I dont, I'm Hastur. *************...
Posted by HASTUR on Sun, 16 Jul 2006 11:00:00 PST

Today's date...

I've counted over a dozen-and-a-half "06/06/06" bulletins between yesterday and today. Almost all involving some comment that's related to idiotic corellaries with the Book of Revelations. Now for som...
Posted by HASTUR on Wed, 07 Jun 2006 04:59:00 PST

To my faithful worshippers...

Recently, a very gratifying upsurge has been apparent in conversions of new cultists to the Unholy Church of He-Who-Is-Not-To-Be-Named (that would be me). I must say with all candor that your monstrou...
Posted by HASTUR on Fri, 12 May 2006 12:38:00 PST

How I save the human race!

That is correct, mortals. Hastur the Unspeakable has embarked upon a new philosophical outlook. Humankind is not without redemption, for I, He-Who-Is-Not-To-Be-Named, is eminently qualifi...
Posted by HASTUR on Sun, 23 Apr 2006 01:29:00 PST

Hastur has a plan

The revised fiscal budget of the United States of America for 2007 stands at 2.7-plus trillion dollars. Of course, both houses of Congress each get their opportunity to perform monetary surgery on th...
Posted by HASTUR on Sun, 19 Mar 2006 02:55:00 PST

Shriek! Scream! We don't know what we're talking about!

I watch the ebb and flow of human events with keen interest. Especially those matters thrust into the forefront of public consciousness that are clearly intended by their proponen...
Posted by HASTUR on Tue, 14 Mar 2006 07:53:00 PST

He is the champion

I've never been much for being on the go-go-go in a social sense. I think I have as many current friends I talk to over the Internet as I see in person these days. Which is just fine--cheaper that wa...
Posted by HASTUR on Mon, 13 Mar 2006 06:29:00 PST