Sugar Geisha

My metabolism has dropped through the floor and is currently taking a holiday in hell even though it is actually more of a hell for me. Its pure insanity. Is there any wonder Im wired to the moon? That is quite a nice thought though to be wired to the moon. Although with it being made of cheese there could be a major binge connected to it also. I dont know why at this particular "weight point" I have suddenly wished to write all my undying thoughts and wishes and share them with you all. It just all of a sudden like I have allowed myself to slow down even though I wasnt going any faster to begin with. How can that be? The insomnia has kicked in, at nights I just lie there tossing and turning and listening to D snore like some kind of jungle animal. So many thoughts in my head, so many things to do "tomorow" but when I wake the next day most of them have vanished or disappeared into my dreams. My dreams have become more vivid, they were always vivid before but now they sometimes wake me and I feel they were real. I think I have been playing Sims2 too much because I have started thinking in those terms. I watched Ebony drinking water last night and decided her hunger must be down and could visually see her "needs bars" right there hovering in the air. Sometimes it makes me feel insane, other times I feel like everyone else is insane and Im the only normal one.
I hate how so many people tell you how "thin, pretty, cute" you are when you post a pic regardless of how much any of those things you are. I have looked at pics and thought "oh how terrifying and ugly" and just not posted but looking at the replys seeing nothing but niceties. Why cant people just be honest for a change? Yes it may hurt but what doesnt kill us makes us stronger. I only trust the opinions of my close friends here. People who really listen to what I say. People who take the time to check up on me to send me a txt or ring me to see how im doing. People who I would trust my life with. And why do people post photos of them lying down? What does that achieve, absolutely nothing. Everyone can look thin laying down, everyone can see their ribs laying down! People cant stand to be told "you could lose some weight there" if you are one of them THEN DONT POST PICS. I WANT people to critique me, to tell me yeah you have lost weight there but you need to tone up "something" a bit more try doing "exercise". Thats the whole POINT of the exercise!
I have been anorexic for 12 years now, I don't even remember what its like to eat normally. I HATE WANNAREXIC's they have NO idea what its like to live this hell. I would give anything to never have had to go through this. But here I am. Living it, this disease.
Eating Disorder: Anorexia Nervosa
Height: 5ft6
Current Weight: 91.2
BMI: 14.7
HW: 140 ish
LW: 84
GW1: 92.6 - Achieved
GW2: 86.4
GW3: 80.2