Daniel profile picture

Daniel

I am here for Dating, Friends and Networking

About Me

I used to hunt small children for a living and now that I live in Canada I cant. Why you ask. Apparently it is illegal. What kind of bullshit is that anyway. There is about 35 million people in this country, many of which ar kids, there are more than enough to go around. I am sure the world can stand to loose a few. My personal satisfaction certainly outweighs the requirements of barely sentient creatures. I have payed my dues and deserve a little reqard for my sacrafices.

My Interests

My interests are so brilliant that I can not afford to expose them to anyone else. If people were to know of my aspirations they would be so taken by them that they would likely choose to adopt them for their own. This would make my interests common and I would have to compete for their limited resources even more than I already do. Not a good situation for me at all.

I'd like to meet:

annoying people

Music:

I hate real music. My favorite music is super amazing MIDI covers of Kenny G and Mozart. The kind that sound like singing christmas ornaments, but only with the HI FI quality of CD! Sooooo awesome.Synthesized violins and trumpets are my favourite instruments especially from early 90's adult contemporary keyboards. Shazaaammm mutha fucka!

Movies:

I hate movies to. I only like infomercials and instuctional videos that come with baby Jolly Jumpers or car seats. Safety and ediquite videos are fucking brilliant too. I could watch those all day long. In fact I do. Most of the time I sit in front of my green TV and watch instructional hobbiest videos while eating salt and vinigar super chips until my mouth is a shuddering mass of blistering kanker soars.

Books:

reading is for people with mechanically assisted vision....and thats not me.

Heroes:

Hmm, I have no heros. Im too fucking genius to care about other people or want to be them. I guess if I had to pick something though it would be Hal Johnson from the Body Break commercials. That man is fucking great!One of the first inter-racial, excercise couples to have middle class america, yuppy family values on TV. His toothy smile and ability to tolerate his synthetically chipper wife is truly a testiment to the patience and tolerance all North Americans should strive for. What a guy, what a duo, what an inspiration.

My Blog

Techno is the music of lonely people

I just had a realisation that Techno music is the soundtrack of lonely people. Its pressence is typically found in clubs, on Porno video ads, strip clubs and Gyms. It is most predominant in the world ...
Posted by Daniel on Thu, 16 Feb 2006 08:42:00 PST

There are 95 ways to explain character

Well I have opted to write in this thing yet again. I am a little worried that frequent visits may result in the exposure of a writing style that is redundant and bland. Therefore, i must keep my post...
Posted by Daniel on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Yay for spelling errors, im as dumb as i look

Yah-fucking-hoo a new blog. I never find time to write in this ridiculous comment box. I guess I have finally slipped on the wet rock of boredom and come crashing down into this silly place. Weeeee...
Posted by Daniel on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Ava Gardner left out the garbage and now her house is filled with little black flies.

I have decided to frequent this thing as a page to calm my aggitated fingers which constantly itch to write about the self centered issues of MY life. In a sweeping blow of arrogance I am putting my m...
Posted by Daniel on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

..............anyways

I cant believe people actually read these things. I noticed that some people have actually viewd my blog....wow, Im a celebrity now. I wonder if people I know read it, or people i dont know read it an...
Posted by Daniel on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Jee Whiz Marshal! These rabits are all but rabid!

Well it has been a tired day of solice and self inflicted brutality so sweetly recorded into my public expose'. These tasteful memoirs are like small mint chocolates to me. Mint chocolates, held by de...
Posted by Daniel on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST