Funk-E profile picture

Funk-E

That's MR. DUMB-ASS to YOU, fucker

About Me

.. I once thought Charles Manson was the shit for rolling around in a school bus with a bunch of drugged up hippies... come to think of it, I still do. Back in my High School days, I even went as far as taking a very impromptu trip up to the "caves" I've always heard so much about, the Manson Caves. You enter through the ground; some entrances/holes drop some forty feet or more. Creepy. Inside there was lots of the spiders. I don't like spiders. And it was really dark, like pitch black. I don't do to well without light. I'll admit it... when our illustrious "tour" guide felt the need to prank us into believing he'd taken off without us, with the light, leaving us only a green glow stick, I screamed my little head off. I did. I was pretty embarrassed when he started laughing, hiding in some dark tunnel somewhere.

My Interests

-right
-wrong
-ordinary
-extraordinary
-black/white
-color
-apathy
-passion
-pain
-pleasure
-life
-death

I'd like to meet:

Anyone with a sense of humor and creativity.

Music:

"I consider myself a musician." How fucken pretentious! I embarrass myself with some of the shit I write here sometimes. "I consider myself a musician." I can almost hear the conceited tone my voice might take if I ever said this out loud, "I consider myself a musician." I hate arrogant people. I hate people that think they are special for any reason. Everyone is the same! Seeing these personality defects in my own actions, writing in this case, makes me want to climb out of my skin and beat my own ass... really savage-like... do that whole shin-to-ribs-foot-to-face dance... for hours... till my face is missing teeth and covered in blood and gravel... "you can clean it off with my fucken spit!... how do you admire yourself now!... answer me!... you see?!?... you see what pride does for you!?!..."

"I consider myself a musician."

Movies:

When I was 16 I worked in a movie theater: The Edwards Mountain Gate 7 located in the beautiful city of Simi Valley. I can't tell you how many times I saw the end of "Big Daddy" with Adam Sandler, that Guns n' Roses song repeating over and over again, or the animated film "Tarzan", Phil Collins providing an exit. But God, was that job fun; mixing highballs behind concessions, smoking pot outside any exit door, dropping acid before your shift, breaking brooms over the forehead and/or shoulder, robbing the place blind with everybody else, every other employee. Good times that job was. And then I got laid off, along with everybody else. And just like many other people I worked with, I left my mark on the place when I left. Let's not talk about the speakers. Let's not talk about the potato cannon launching objects at the screens. I don't even want to talk about lighting the upstairs janitor's room on fire with "gum away" and a lighter... I want to talk abou the outside marquee, the one at the street. Proudly on display for all of Simi to see, the words "Travis is 2 gay", Travis of course being the general manager at the Edwards Plaza 10 located just a block away down the street. I heard there were pictures taken and presented in the Simi Valley newspaper, whatever that thing is called. I also hear that I am officially non-rehire able at any Edwards, Regal or United Artists theaters. Uh oh! What ever will become of my future? I'm never again going to have the pleasure of inhaling burning popcorn smell? Que lastima! And I will leave you with this fact/warning... don't eat movie theater popcorn... at night, rats swim all through the kernels, doing everything you'd expect a rat to be doing in 'em.

Television:

Don't watch much...

Books:

Any suggestions???

Heroes:

Christian Bale as Batman... in a thong. Did I just write that?

My Blog

Suspect Spit

I'm standing in the kitchen, piecing together the makings of the perfect sandwich:  mayo (little on each side of the bread), cheese (cheddar, sometimes a nice pepper jack will do), thinly-sliced ...
Posted by Funk-E on Sun, 14 Jan 2007 08:19:00 PST

Self-Mutilation Beautification

I have many scars, both mental and physical.  I have given many of these scars to myself, through my own actions.  Scars preserve memories, just like images and music.  Scars tend to be...
Posted by Funk-E on Sun, 29 Jan 2006 09:52:00 PST

Shoeless...

Hey, Artie.  Can you FUCKEN believe that guy over there?  Said a man whose nametag read, Jimmy, organizing new releases in the Biographical section.    Artie, all dressed up...
Posted by Funk-E on Thu, 01 Dec 2005 11:42:00 PST

Take a Jimson Weed Trip???

Jimson Weed is a common weed along roadsides, in cornfields and pastures, and in waste areas. Datura stramonium comes from the family Solanaceae, the potato or nightshade family. The plant is native t...
Posted by Funk-E on Thu, 01 Dec 2005 11:30:00 PST

The Stereotype... Translations?

WHAT A WOMAN SAYS... WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS...I need = I want We need = I want It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now Do whatever you want = You are going to pay for this la...
Posted by Funk-E on Thu, 01 Dec 2005 11:14:00 PST

Extended Introduction

Complexity& what?   The label on the bottle of Punky Color said Brick House Red semi-permanent hair dye.  My hair, having been stripped/bleached about 4x that morning, leaving it a shade o...
Posted by Funk-E on Thu, 01 Dec 2005 11:09:00 PST