LisaMcC profile picture

LisaMcC

Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us.

About Me



All my friends are the most divine mixture of horrors.

Someday I will have two Maine Coon kitties, and I will name them Boris and Bela.
I play drums with a band called Scrapple. You've never heard of us. I also sing some for a bunch of other swell people.

My first crush was Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka: smarmy, sarcastic and bedecked in purple velvet. Swoon.

I fell in a septic tank when I was three years old.

I really, really, REALLY like to complain.

One night, in a stupefying moment of premenstrual malaise, I cried at the end of "Firestarter." Yeah, the movie. The one with Drew Barrymore, after "E.T." but right before she became kind of slutty and WAY before she got all respectable and shit. Oh, yes. Like a baby I cried.

I am conversationally knowledgeable about a great many things, but Southern Gothic literature, egregious profanity, and guilt are my specialties.

My Interests

Drums, guitars, sobriety, records, noise, wasabi peas, ice cream sandwiches, Pilates, Tudor history, knitting, SQL, kitties, local music, monkeys, Boggle, vintage Florida souvenirs, digestive biscuits, sleazy old amusement parks and/or carnival workers, monster movies (classic creatures and zombies), pie, absurdism, old clothes, Finster, comic books, semantics, smut.

I'd like to meet:

People who don't use acronyms for "laughing out loud" or "in my humble opinion."

Music:



I also really like cereal box records, but they don't make 'em anymore.

If it breaks my heart like the last night of sex with someone moving away for good, chances are I own it in at least 3 different formats.

Movies:

Hud, Phantasm, The Lion in Winter, Time Bandits, Showgirls, Gregory's Girl, Mommie Dearest, Waiting for Guffman, Westworld, Wuthering Heights, Young Frankenstein, The Muppet Movie, Shadow of the Vampire, Return of the Living Dead

Television:

I gotta say, ever since we shitcanned the cable I barely watch the thing anymore. Honest to God - I never thought I would be one of THOSE PEOPLE that are all, "Oh, I NEVER watch television." But it's true! Instead, I fill the gaping void in my soul with vacuous "celebrity" magazines, self-centered righteous indignation, and MySpace surveys.

Now, that being said - I do watch "House" religiously. I want to bang Hugh Laurie seven ways to Sunday.

Books:

Fuck reading. Fuck books. Books are for Luddites.

Heroes:

My personal gods of thunder: Malcolm Travis, Paul Hester (RIP), Budgie, Hugo Burnham, Kevin Haskins, DJ Bonebrake, Larry Dersch, Janet Weiss, Moe Tucker

In general: Janet Frame, Patty Duke, Brigid Berlin

My Blog

A mouse-eye's view of California

I'd like you all to meet someone very special to me.Relationships come and go. People flit in and out of my life like fruitflies. Some hover around for a bit, others move on to the next bowl of cube...
Posted by LisaMcC on Sun, 11 Mar 2007 06:13:00 PST

I'd like my food without the booze sauce. Is that so terribly wrong?

Circumstances at work are such that I got to have a very nice three-course dinner at a very nice hotel last night. I like hotels. I like all the little amenities and I'm fascinated by the whole conc...
Posted by LisaMcC on Wed, 28 Feb 2007 05:38:00 PST

A life worth celebrating...

A few years back, my friend's grandmother passed away. "Memaw" (my friend is a Texan to the core) was in her nineties, and for the last couple of years she'd been preparing her children, grandchildren...
Posted by LisaMcC on Mon, 19 Feb 2007 06:13:00 PST

Coming Soon - More Choices That Don't Involve Thinking

Here in the city proper, we ain't got what you'd call a proper "mall." What we have is a sprawling testament to New Luxury, a set of conjoined high-end retail twins known as The Prudential Center/Cop...
Posted by LisaMcC on Sun, 18 Feb 2007 03:07:00 PST

The Pneumonia Angels

At the bottom of the big plastic bin, where we store our Christmas decorations, are two little ceramic angels. They're styled after those vomitous Precious Moments" figurines (which are up there with...
Posted by LisaMcC on Thu, 15 Feb 2007 05:48:00 PST

I suck at this whole winsome womanhood thing.

It's official. I suck at this whole winsome womanhood thing.All outward appearances would speak otherwise. I am somewhat fastidious  borderline psychotic, even  about my personal appearance. Ever...
Posted by LisaMcC on Mon, 12 Feb 2007 02:11:00 PST

Catbox Cabaret, or my years as an "underground" performer.

For shits and giggles, I decided to Google "Catbox Cabaret" this morning.In 1992 I was fresh out of college, looking into graduate schools, and had no real plans for what I was going to do, artistical...
Posted by LisaMcC on Sat, 10 Feb 2007 07:11:00 PST

If I wanted to know your dinner plans, I'd ask you. Now hang up and drive.

As most of my nearest-and-dearest know, I hate cellphones.   If I wanted to hear your dinner plans, I'd ask you.  I don't need to know that Jennifer is SUCH a BITCH while I'm sitting on the ...
Posted by LisaMcC on Thu, 08 Feb 2007 09:29:00 PST

Sometimes there are no clear-cut answers.

I went out for dinner last night with a bunch of sober friends. I sometimes wonder what others make of our strange, motley groups -- investment bankers and construction workers and drag queens -- as ...
Posted by LisaMcC on Sun, 04 Feb 2007 07:15:00 PST

A Public (Transportation) Service Announcement

Dear Creepy Man On The Orange Line This Morning:Just because I'm wearing a beret? DOES NOT MAKE ME FRENCH. I do not understand what you are saying. My last name is McColgan. My mother's maiden nam...
Posted by LisaMcC on Fri, 02 Feb 2007 08:24:00 PST