Jeph Rants profile picture

Jeph Rants

Some people call me the Space Cowboy! But I am the Gangster of love.

About Me

No I am not happy to see you, I just have a huge penis!!..................It's Wiener Time!!I am sure by looking at my photos it is clear I have no intention of growing up any time soon. (ever) I love sports, camping, hiking, 4x4, mudding, ridding horses, beach vollyball, surfing, horse shoes, washers, Tubing the frio, playin guitar, telling lies, etc. My favorite word is fuck. I am naming stars after myself because there is no more land to steal from the American Indians. My favorite act is making people laugh. (usually when I ask them if they want fuck) I like to people watch were ever I am. I have a problem with streaking. (not my problem really) I really am a big deal. I am the one you have to blow to get a drink around here. I am a cunning linguist and a master debater. I am like a shark, I will die if I stop talking. I am what Willis was talking about!!!!, I support gay marriage. If both chicks are hot!/ I am Huge in Japan / I put the________________in lazy /youtube myspace and I will google your yahoo. / I put the laughter in Manslaughter.


My Interests

Cigars old cars, politics, good beer, horse shoes, sexy ladies, pool, darts, cards (hold'em, blackjack, 5 card),
A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.
Nothing shows a man’s character more than what he laughs at. Money is better than poverty, if only for finical reasons. A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

I'd like to meet:

Fuck you, I have enough friends.Someone into Coma Sutra, Al Gore didn't invent the internet but he did make up global warming.

Music:

All, Country, Blues, Jazz, Blue Grass, R&B, Metal, etc.

Movies:

Scar Face, Godfather, The good the the bad..., Young Guns, 007flixs, The Love Boat: A Valentine Voyage (1990), ect. His opinion is...

Television:

Sports, car programs, Home fixer upper stuff, commericals for G.G.W. video's. Anything on the interweb.

Books:

Yoga for Lonely men, anything on tape

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of intoxication with success

The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Heroes:

have always been Cowboys (NOT F*CKIN DALLAS COWBOYS EITHER)

My Blog

Not that kind.

I had a dream about you last night. We made love of course but that was not the preponderance of the fantasy. It  was not the physical connection that made the moments real. Viewing your body bef...
Posted by Jeph Rants on Sun, 26 Oct 2008 10:01:00 PST

Yankee Blues Don’t ya know

I don't know your story.I'm sure its crazy and true.Probably pull at my heart strings.Make me sad and blue.You'll play hard to get.And run me all over town.Kiss me in the rain.I'll act like your clown...
Posted by Jeph Rants on Fri, 24 Oct 2008 07:27:00 PST

Miss me.

When I am gone you will be sad.All day thinking about the fun we had.Waiting for a text and wanting 1 call.Memories all thats left, you gather them all.Remember my hugs the ones that were tight.Don't ...
Posted by Jeph Rants on Wed, 22 Oct 2008 07:23:00 PST

Always Stoned.

Why would we write again and make you fly, then say things to make you cry?How does love materialize on our pages? Mad with hate and sexual rages.A description of heart that you see in your mind. You ...
Posted by Jeph Rants on Wed, 22 Oct 2008 05:02:00 PST

Piano.

The dark maple grains contrast the ivory keys on this over sized music box. I pound only the ebony to avoid or at least throw off those who seek to figure out my tune. Oak is a wonderful hard arboreal...
Posted by Jeph Rants on Tue, 21 Oct 2008 09:10:00 PST

Toss & Turn

I slept alone again and thats alright.I almost made it through the night.No sex or loving nothing at all.So I wound up staring at the wall.Received text asking me to go out.Yet I choose to stay home a...
Posted by Jeph Rants on Sat, 18 Oct 2008 07:06:00 PST

Mr.and Mrs. Popularity

Feeling lonely is a by product of living a unfulfillable life.Constantly looking for the things that are merely obscure gestures falsely representing happiness. I have looked into my soul and seen gre...
Posted by Jeph Rants on Fri, 17 Oct 2008 05:19:00 PST

Stoic

History is common amongst those of us with a past.Just there and now they are gone. Seconds just behind us and still out of your grasp. A thing you may witness again in your mind but not judge. Right ...
Posted by Jeph Rants on Mon, 13 Oct 2008 06:27:00 PST

Beat Box Perversion.

So you think you have a chance.To pull me away from plants.Just want a piece of Jeph Rants.Not forever just for a while.Take it off and sit on my smile.I'll tear it up like a crocodile.Kissing and tou...
Posted by Jeph Rants on Sun, 12 Oct 2008 08:52:00 PST

Goodbye (B.F.)

I am sorry I cannot fix this. I don't know what to do. There is nobody to call and complain to. No supervisor who can fix this problem. No tool I can provide. Its not a car that won't start or door th...
Posted by Jeph Rants on Fri, 26 Sep 2008 09:05:00 PST