Dana Barrett a.k.a. The Gatekeeper

About Me

Ok, so I'm a not so recent graduate of the University of San Francisco where I received a damn near useless degree in political science, which enables me to sound super smart at parties, but has little applicability to real life. maybe i should have majored in communications like all the real go-getters! I hope to start my own property investment company within the next couple of years and can't wait to tell families that I'm kicking them out of their homes so I can turn the building they live in into condos. hey, its not selling out, its cashing in puto! I'm currently working for a big ass property management company (I will refrain from mentioning the name lest the good people of myspace show up at my "cyber door" with torches and pitch forks and shit). Needless to say, I need to start my own business soon so I can tell people to fuck off more often.

My Interests

Have you seen this leprechaun? Apparently he lives in a tree in one of Alabama's many ghettos. While some of the hood's residents are believers, others think it's "just a crackhead who got hold of da wrong stuff." You decide...Who doesn't like a little blow every now and then... or even every day!My fake titties are awesome!Here's what I don't understand: So we, the Americans, along with the Jews are the infidels, right? Then why are Islamic television shows using a Mickey Mouse like character (broke as it is) to spread their messages of hate?

I'd like to meet:

i like people with wacky senses of humor. the sicker the better, dude. things i find funny: retarded people, republicans, and mullets.

This guy says strong, but sensitive

This guy used to sell me crank in 8th grade. His name is Tom, but he made us call him "ripper."

If I ever shit out a kid, he would look just like this. God works in mysterious ways...

Is this racist or just bad ass? Please advise

This is a photo from when we had the world series of dice at my house.

Gayer than robert smith at a truck stop! goths suck!

Are you a God? Then Die!!!!

Music:

i'm a huge elton john fan, but don't call me tiny dancer, bitch! i listen to a lot of jazz; charles mingus being my favorite jazz artist. i like a lot of dorky classic rock tunes like anything by eric clapton, rod stewart, and led zep-just to name a few. don't forget the metal!i wanna take him on a date to applebees! There ain't no shame in watching American Idol bitches!

Movies:

welcome to the dollhouse, texas chainsaw massacre, ghost world, old school, the hot chick (don't laugh, you know it rocked), and anything by kevin smith, keeping mum, Harry Potter movies, the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, capote, pirates (the best damn porno flick ever made), the boy whose skin fell off

Television:

that 70s show, curb your enthusiasm, seinfeld, top chef, project runway, and all manner of horrible reality tv depicting pretty people such as myself

Books:

choke, the bell jar, a civil action (i am an aspiring lawyer after all), and anything by charles bukowski

Heroes:

wayne brady, bitch! oh, and jesus...