Keith profile picture

Keith

About Me

In the 1920's I found a cure for polio and now I've got AIDS on the fun. Did I say fun? I meant run. I was excommunicated from the Christian church for inventing Lutherism, only back then we didn't have nails; I had to bleed all over the parchment and blow-dry it to the door. I assassinated Abraham Lincoln, Julius Ceaser, and Moby Dick (Have you seen a white whale? Of course you haven't. I killed the mothafucka!). Basically, I'm like the Forrest Gump of the past 3,000 years only I'm not retarded and I've had more sex.

My Interests

Writing, exploring, music, telekinesis, pyrokinesis, psychic espionage, bears, caves, bears that live in caves, shoe-phones, making french toast, throwing fish at cars, explosions, wearing slippers, christmas, the eventual downfall of Finland

I'd like to meet:

yo momma.

Music:

The Flaming Lips, Sonic Youth, Tom Waits, Curtis Mayfield, eels, Frank Zappa, R.E.M., Lou Reed, Prince, Talking Heads, Beck, Raymond Scott, Radiohead, Ween, Elvis Costello, Pavement, Broken Social Scene, The Pixies, Portishead, Red Hot Chili Peppers, PJ Harvey, Soundgarden, Jane's Addiction, Nine Inch Nails, Angelo Badalamenti, David Bowie, Unkle, The Who, Massive Attack, Tool, (old) Smashing Pumpkins, The Melvins, The White Stripes, The Rolling Stones, Thievery Corporation

Movies:

The Big Lebowski, Apocylapse Now, Blue Velvet, Best In Show, This is Spinal Tap, Scanners, The Shining, The Nicholas Cage: Action-Man trilogy; (The Rock, Face/Off, Con Air), Dr. Strangelove, Bringing Out The Dead, Brick, Wild At Heart, What About Bob?, Philadelphia, Raising Arizona, Babel, 21 Grams, Bully, The Usual Suspects, Natural Born Killers, Death To Smoochy, No Country For Old Men, Big Trouble in Little China

Television:

Oz, Ren and Stimpy, The Sopranos, The Simpsons, Law and Order: SVU, Seinfeld, Frasier, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, The Boondocks, Venture Brothers, Planet Earth, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Man vs. Wild, Space Ghost, SeaLab 2021, Harvey Birdman, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Shark Week is the greatest week in the history of weeks.

Books:

Marabou Stork Nightmares or anything else by Irvine Welsh, Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs, Invitation to a Beheading by Vladimir Nabokov, American Psycho and Lunar Park by Brett Easton Ellis, The Great and Secret Show by Clive Barker, The Stranger by Albert Camus, any poetry by Jim Carroll, T.S. Elliot, Saul Williams, E.E. Cummings, etc.

Heroes:

Dr. Benway, Bobby Peru

My Blog

If only.....

If I were a toaster I would have a velvet rope and a Samoan doorman, who lets only the finest muffins in. If I were a baby seal I would mind my own business. If I were a punctuation mark I would be th...
Posted by Keith on Fri, 18 Jan 2008 01:29:00 PST

solutions for out of control cops

       Sometimes when I'm driving on the highway, I'll see some state trooper driving along at fantastic speeds, totally disregarding the safety of it's fellow motorists....
Posted by Keith on Wed, 28 Nov 2007 08:41:00 PST