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Tales of the Forest.... : Scrabble
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I'm an antisocial sod. Go away.
Seriously. I'm not very interesting and do not want to talk to anyone.(Of course this is entirely down to my colossal neuroses and idiosycrasies not to mention my atrocious spelling)
Not really. Had you fooled though didn't I. Yeah I did. There's no shame in it. I am in fact an excellent speller.
Now on to me. I was born 6447 years ago on the banks of the river Severn, of course back then it was just known as 'that big wet thing'. When I was 11 months old, my parents were kidnapped by aliens. I was raised by a wise old wolf named Dave. Dave taught me everything I know, including how to imitate the sounds of the wild using only my anus.
I grew up in a forrest that looked enchanted but was actually rather mundane. When I reached my eighteenth year as it is measured on Earth, I had to pass a test. This right of passage required me to dress as a dissapointed vole and sing the entire back catalogue of Gary Numan. This proved difficult as Gary Numan would not be born for another six millennia. Thankfully I wasn't allowed to age any further until I had completed my task.
Finally, in 1999, I suceeded and celebrated by drinking myself catatonic. It was only two months later when I woke up did I realise toilet cleaner wasn't the tipple I had thought it was.
Dave has since gone to Hollywood and has worked in many restaurants, though he did have a bit part in Underworld: Evolution as a rug. I now occupy my time by recreating the things I see in my head or real life by applying ink or graphite to paper. I later found out that this was called drawing and that I am very good at it. Recently I drew a curtain. It was blue. I spent six months making socks for Santa Claus in his dungeon. He's not as jolly as you might think y'know.