! cakemonster ! profile picture

! cakemonster !

and you know, the whole time i was just thinking, 'let them eat cake, the bastards.'

About Me

i love seahorses.

My Interests

! Capoeira Mata Um !

Stuff: smartassery, tomfool(ery/ishness), sobriety, capoeira, banging on hollowed-out dead trees covered in animal skins with dead tree parts, tremulants, the pussy posse, yoga, making trouble, getting away with whatever i can, being told what to do and getting in trouble, telling people what to do and getting in trouble with them, thinking i'm the sh*t, fighting for fun, arguing for no reason, strange women, strangers with candy, strange women with candy, gas masks, sweat, blood, infiltrating the system, pain like whoa, not being angry, making fun of myself, sticking up for my homies, watching biters bite my styles, knowing when to be quiet, listening, lactose intolerance, being half asian, hanging out at bill and bob's house, loving the f*ck out of my friends, being grateful, being ungrateful, reading anything, graphics that involve body parts and/or children, small plastic animals in plastic bags, watching you like a creep, going fast, going slow, hitting you with my slow jams, dancing in my ergonomic office chair (and other places), doodling when i should be working, passing notes, stuff in the mail, BI-CY-CLES !, walking to nowhere and everywhere until i pass out, hiking (up your skirt), peeing in trees, driving forever and never, living out of cars, living in sheds, sleeping on couches, self-entertainment, house wars, consenting adults, body modifications and the people that love them, and fun. who doesn't love fun?
i don't enjoy: heated conversations about bipartisan politics and any kind of religion, people that think i'm wrong, people that will go to any length to prove anybody else wrong, people that talk too much about themselves, people that talk about all the cool famous people they've met and/or know (or think they're famous, or name-drop, or think that strangers actually care), people that talk too much for my taste, being touched without consent, people that touch other people who don't consent, people that give off a creep vibe unlike mine, people that interrupt, people that don't listen, and most other people. note how most of what i don't enjoy involves people. everything else is cool.

I'd like to meet:



Stalk Someone I Know

Music:

applause. all for me.

Television:

poops lies. all lies.

Books:

yes.

Heroes:

PAT
"we don't kill our wounded,"
"do you wanna be right or do you wanna be happy,"
NOONAN.
Rest in Peazy, ma Neezy.
! Make Jesus Come (On Your Face)!
MEEee...
Status: hopeless and loving it
Here for: tomfoolery and other such nonsense.
(Dis)Orientation: gayer than sunshine but not interested in other humans, or any other species for that matter. what? i'm a loner, dottie.
Mother pooped me out in: chicagoland
Body Type: scrapper. bruised and scarred.
Ethnicity: Hapa. the other white meat.
Religion: sufi
Sign: gemini, and me, and myself, and all of us together
Smoke / Drink: i don't need to be drunk to be an a**hole.
i smoke when lit on fire.
Children: ok, i can't help it. i want to hoarde these things. millions of them.
Education: i paid 50 grand and all i got was this fancy paper with a silly font.
Occupation: i asked one of my co-workers if he felt like he got paid to do nothing and he said, "yeah, but i usually don't tell anyone."
Income: more than less. less is more. i have nothing. it's math, silly

My Blog

sealed with a kiss, a breath of life, i got my soul back tonight

ohhhh you drrty deeds, done drrt cheap.for all of those in wonder, i'm developing the most wonderous and ridiculous tattoo on the planet earth. which is the goal. nonsense. i make nonsense. it's what ...
Posted by ! cakemonster ! on Tue, 25 Sep 2007 05:25:00 PST

bloody knows

the time of the year when you wake up with bloody boogers. so dry. woop. i'm a big f*ckin' nerd. what?!sssso i'm sitting here, and there, sometimes everywhere, feeling sorry for myself. bathing in an ...
Posted by ! cakemonster ! on Sat, 22 Sep 2007 07:04:00 PST

candystripe a cancer ward; it’s not my problem...

i wrote this last sunday. partymonster was the saturday before that. so?i can't go home. i can't. i would spend the whole day in bed having convulsions, stomach wrapping itself around whatever it can ...
Posted by ! cakemonster ! on Thu, 13 Sep 2007 05:02:00 PST

omg. lmao. rflmfao. brb. jk. idkidkidk. srsly. brbbrbbrb!

wow. crazystyles.i slept so long last night!and nothingsleep the night before!the past three months have been maya detox time. re-arranging time. think time. i wrote an email to pants about how my obl...
Posted by ! cakemonster ! on Sun, 26 Aug 2007 01:45:00 PST

whose chocolate rain is this, anyway?

i want to poop on someone's face.real bad.slut.groupie.one time i was in a hotel room and i built fort enema under a desk and some blankets. trespassers would face death by forced violent intestinal e...
Posted by ! cakemonster ! on Sat, 25 Aug 2007 01:15:00 PST

random things all stacked in paragraphs.

it seems like everything i do these days lies inside of exclamation points! what fun! i love the usage of punctuation marks. exclamation points are more subtle than all capital letters, which just sou...
Posted by ! cakemonster ! on Sat, 14 Jul 2007 09:36:00 PST

i got new glasses, everyone got uglier...

hello. you may have seen homemade posters around tempe for ron paul. today i found out who he is, so here is a video: abolish income taxes. ok. i don't know what's going on. i don't believe a...
Posted by ! cakemonster ! on Sun, 08 Jul 2007 07:04:00 PST

t*t f*ck your mother, and *ss rape your brother

...for those of you that think of the title of this blog more than mildly inappropriate...it is.ha-ha.the 4th of july is pretty much the gayest national holiday...EVER.if all of the america, fcuk yeah...
Posted by ! cakemonster ! on Thu, 05 Jul 2007 10:53:00 PST

it's new, OR lins

dude yeah for real. in a hotel lobbylobby. 1st hotel of the trip care of salimah a.k.a. pleazer for those of you obsessed. cleaning lady is all up on mah grill. no i will not move. stockpiling bagels ...
Posted by ! cakemonster ! on Tue, 26 Jun 2007 09:17:00 PST

holy pooplogs!

dude i just discovered myspace international. i can't turn it off. everthing is in spanish. look:F*CKING SPANISH. WOO-HOO!too bad all the ads are still in engrish......
Posted by ! cakemonster ! on Fri, 22 Jun 2007 06:48:00 PST