Captain

I disagree. Best enjoyed with fucking good company and taken to excess. Just like this bottle was
The Teepee of Lurve, replacing the Igloo of lurve
I'm the sort of person who will do an art project on Kinky Corture just to piss off my art teacher, who gets his kicks from clay animals and is a tosser. (I will then drop art)
I keep my phone in my cowboy boot
I think jelly is genuinly disgusting. Why would you put it in a pork pie? I also hate mustard, yogurt, the feel of sand, chalk and cotton wool. Peeling oranges, buttering bread and making other people cups of tea when I don't fucking drink the stuff also annoys me.
When i'm with my parents i smile sweetly, they believe i am a good girl and on pain of death will they find out otherwise. If you have only met me with my parents around- that is not me, you need a proper introduction!
Halem Vine is my twin (she actually IS). We are not identical. I am older. And better.
When i am drunk i believe i must communicate with the world and then take photos with anyone within a 10 metre radius around me. Take my camera and phone away from me in this state. Anyone who recieves drunken communication- feel special as it shows i love you in my own drunken little way. Anyone else, worry not it shouldnt be too long until i pass out.
I should be seen and not heard... if that
I like to claim that i am Petite, humour me and go along with it.
I'd love to be able to cook but i cant for shit. Just to explain how bad i am at it...i fucked up a cupasoup. Personally i am quite proud of this as i didnt think that even i could do that.
I avoid substantial clothing- i like minimal. short skirts short skirts short skirts short skirts short skirts. It's not suitable for winter but it'll take more then weather to stop me, however if you see me looking cold or blue have a heart and feed me whiskey, or at the very least give me a hug and share yours
I should have more shame then i do. Fuck that.
I LOVE underwear, it makes me smile. And if you dont have a certain someone to show it off to, then why not show it to everyone?! Alcohol backs this theory. If flesh is flashed when im drunk i probably wont remember- sorry!
Right now i've got a thing about little lycra hotpants (which might be worn by some as underwear, but not i) My red hotpants that have "bloody mother fucking asshole" on the back are a prize possesion.
I have my filthy mits on some metallic pink hotpants, nothing cheers me up more then this shiny scrap of latex. They are LICKABLE
I love Lethal Fixx, if i havnt had this drunken conversation with you before go onto their page and you'll see why i love them. Go, listen, look and love.
I KNOW how much i'm wearing, with the exception of some occasions
Mines a JD and coke if anyones buying..!
I bite, I lick and I play fight, with both friends and strangers alike. It's friendly, I'm friendly. It's a sign of affection... Anyone who will join in on a bite fight, or any other antics is a fucking legend and earns a special place in my heart
I bruise easily so handle with care!
What you've heard about me is probably true- I live in denial and never remember.
Spiders are perverts. I've had 5+ occasions when a nasty looking spider (and i really mean NASTY looking as in bite-and-die) has successfully tried to see me in the buff. The bastards lurk on my towel or take a birds eye view on my bathroom ceiling. They love a peep show and their dirty little eyes should be squashed. End of.
I'm a sadist and somewhat of an evil genius when i want to be
I am THE inventor of drunken trampoline twister. Try it With me. Its practically impossible and not reckommened to be played in a corset, suspendors, skirt and thong, tried and tested. It is reckommened to play with at least four drinks in your hand and with a human plaything.
I'm good at being single
I am friendly, I am playful, I am flirty and I am touchy-feely when drunk. Don't complain- as far as i'm concerned its better then being an emotional or violent drunk.
If you're one of my friends THEN BE A FRIEND! Consider yourself loved by me, talk to me, sing to me, do what you will.
If you add me then comment me first, my 3 second memory will forget.
If you're a stranger... I'll take sweets from you
If you're in my top 8.....YOUR MOTHERFUCKING SPECIAL.
Ladies And Gentlemen, please welcome your host.... CAPTAIN SAMMI.
Want to be involved in a circus/fairground horror film?? Read my Blog.
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