This profile was edited with Raspberry Jam Sandwiches MySpace Jam
Here be lies a top ten chart of stuff you don't really want to know.
1) I'm actually called Ben. Hillary Brown is a made up name (with no thought behind it). They are the best kind. For instance my first born will probably be called Rumpador Mclessex. This is not set in stone however and i am open to suggestions.
2) I am the most gullible person in the world. As a result my beliefs are rubbish... but that's ok - at least that's what someone told me once.
3) Lies are fun - they kill boredom & help you think. I find myself lying a lot, though i'm not actually a liar... It's more of a fetish for me.
Not big lies like "Hey blind guy the traffic light's green and there's nooo cars out there..."
But small lies like "Help! I'm trapped in a shoe"
4) I laugh at my own jokes, often before i finish them and generally i'm the only one laughing. When i do this my eyes turn into slits, my hand clutches my belly, i slightly bend over and i go "ho ho ho".
5) My impressions are Brilliant. Everyone thinks so.
I have two standards;
The first is kinda like a "sailor/pirate" and it goes like "OO ARRGH, I'm a sailor/pirate!" - haha classic (wipes away tear)
The second is a "farmer" and it goes "OO ARH, I'm a farmergh"
The first one is better.
6) I dress like an old man. I have a big head (both physically and mentally). I have a cavalier face (i'm not sure how i ended up with a moustache). I am, as Campbell would put it, "comically hard". Many a chavteen, drunk rugbyman, angry soldier has found this out after punching me. Fights seem to happen a lot at me. Although i actually kick arse, i am riding my luck living in Romford and will probably get stabbed soon.
And as much as i brag to the contrary i probably couldn't kick Ian Brown's arse. "Old Man Strength" is a powerfully true thing.
7) I should have been a good painter, but somewhere along the line i decided that being an ok guitarist in a great band was better. I still draw cartoons, design flyers and paint CD covers though...
8) I don't like number eights.
9) I don't sleep enough, for fear of going into work too soon after i've just come back. As a result, at house parties, social gatherings etc. i generally fall asleep in a corner before everyone else.
10) Myspace is an "interesting" way to spend one's work.
