Hello my name is Gustav and I am a gnome, a garden gnome to be precise. I am not a dwarf, pixie or hobgoblin. I'm a gnome, Got it?? So anyways my life is an interesting tale full of tragedy, love and suspense. I spent the beginning of my life imprisoned in a forced labor camp in the small garden of an evil couple. My days were spent pulling weeds, fertilizing and toiling away while my cruel masters laughed and beat me and the others. My friend Barry had his foot broken off for not working hard enough. I contemplated suicide many times... One cold winters night as I sat up shivering in the cold I heard a rustling near the perimeter of the compound. To my amazement I spotted a man in a black jumpsuit skulking near the treeline. He then darted towards me and grabbed me. At first I thought he was there to kill me and I welcomed my fate, anything to escape my cruel masters, anything... Soon I realized that this man was not here to kill me, No he was here to rescue me! I will not tell you his real name but you can call him "Glen" He said that he was from the Gnome Liberation Front, or GLF, an organization dedicated to bringing Gnomes the freedom that they deserve. He swore that one day my friends at the camp would be free but that for the time being he needed to get me back to a safe place. We escaped the prison and he brought me back to his home where I layed low for a time. Eventually I was passed off to an associate of his at the GLF who got me out of the country while the heat died down. Many of my prison friends have been rescued and can truly live their lives. I was overjoyed to learn that Barry survived and is living every day to the fullest. I am now living in England, living the life that I always wanted. I have seen Paris, London, Barcelona and many other grand cities, but I never have forgotten the plight of my Gnomish bretheren, the kind people at the GLF or most of all "Glen" the man who made this all possible. Thank you!
Gustav --
[adjective]:
Tastes like fried chicken
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