Don’t hate us because we’re beautiful.Super Model Citizens, the world’s sexiest and most patriotic band, is coming to save the music industry from communists, terrorists, uglyists…just about every “ist†you can think of. Combining their dashing good looks, American ingenuity, and actual good music played with style, SMC holds up its middle finger at those who would take a giant dump on the Stars and Stripes or on the cover of Vogue.Paul and Eric have been childhood friends ever since they both attended the same roller skating party and fought for the right to “couple’s skate†with Mary Elizabeth Bustard. Years later, while working the runway of a Los Angeles show for famed designer Michael (Mike) Hauk, they were kicked out of the high pressure and highly coked up world of high fashion (Eric for displaying the Zoolander “Blue Steel†pout more times than allowed by law and Paul for his outlandish demand to only model plaid) to form a kick ass rock band.John, fresh from his fall from grace as an aide to the Mayor of San Pedro, CA (the allegations of sexual deviance with kitchen appliances proved to be true), needed an outlet for his revolting, perverse sexual energy (the Electric Company having turned off his power). So he answered an ad on Craigslist for, “Lead Singer Wanted – don’t be a dick or have head liceâ€.Now in search of a 4th member, they lucked out when Bill became available after weeks of physical therapy from a terrible tent erecting accident (leaving him two feet shorter than his astonishing original height of 7’4â€). He also received the Congressional Medal of Honor for his heroic work building latrines and showers during the Air Force’s barely publicized invasion of Utah.“The music industry is filled with assholes and we are the big black dildoâ€, SMC is often heard to say. We don’t know about you, but we are tired of these ugly, unpatriotic rockers who quack about how America is going to hell in a hand basket. They curse the current generation as being too shallow, image conscious, and apathetic. They’re right, but you know what? Fuck them! Fuck them in the ear! Fuck them in the other ear!!SMC realizes that image is pretty much everything, as long as you also have great music, professionalism, and a kick ass stage show. Well SMC has all that, and much, much more!!Oh, and did we forget to mention their super powers?But that is a topic for another day.
