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There isn't much to tell really...I grew up on a twenty two (22) ft fishing barge off the coast of Oklahoma. At the ripe old age of three (3) my father was killed in a freak fishing accident which involved a swordfish, a sixteen (16) dollar wager and a helluva lot of whiskey. Me and my mother, (... heartbroken by the strange turn of events...) sold the boat and moved to the wilds of northern canada where we moved from town to town with the money we had gotten for our fishing barge, looking for some sort of work. By the age of six (6) my mother was whoring herself out to any who would pay the money up front, meanwhile she entered me into pit matches (...that those savage local dope-fiends bet on to no end...) against anything from beavers and badgers to small wolverines.
By the age of twelve my mother sensing that she could do no more for me sold me to the pit match master and eloped with a small mexican lama farmer and ran off to columbia...or so the story was related to me. After six (6) more yrs wrassling all sorts of beasts I decided that I needed to find a way to win my freedom before I was seriously maimed or killed. Although shocking to no one I am sure, pit match fighting does not include medical benefits. I found the Pit Master one night on one of his whiskey benders and, feigning drunkeness myself, bet him my freedom versus my life that I could huck his prized australian pigskin over the nearest mountain that was nearly a mile away. He agreed and the rest is history.
I left that place the next day and started traveling. Over the yrs I have held numerous jobs including a butcher, an astronaut, a fluffer, a shrimp boat captain, a prize fighter (...including five shots at the title which I never actually won...), a fudgepacker at the Hershey's chocolate factory, a termite exterminator for the Keebler elves (...the tree is much bigger on the inside than it looks on the outside...), and as of late I have been Toiling & Soiling my life away, scubbin' grub off of the plates of senators & congressmen...the jokes is on them though...........I'm not entirely sure why, but it just is..................................Buunnnnnggggggggggg
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I Will Take my own life!.
After going through with your own well thought out version of columbine you finally turn the gun on yourself... the thick coat of brains and coagulated blood was a bitch to get off the auditorium wall. You sure showed them!
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