e hass - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I was born in 1969. Created from the unholy union of a monkey and a goat.I am currently 37 years old and in need of a diet. People seem to like me because I am polite and I am rarely late. I like to eat ice cream and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks. Years later, a doctor will tell me that I have an I.Q. of 48 and am what some people call mentally retarded. I live alone in a trailer down by the river with nothing to look forward to but old age, eating the 4pm early bird special and buying comfortable shoes. From the age of 5 til 18 I was given a public school eduation which is why I find myself in jobs such as helping those of limted intellect find the on/off switch on their remote control, or trying to sell roadkill to the under-priviledged for money. My current addiction to speedball Big Gulps and Haagen Daaz has left me in my current sad state of affairs. Currently since no one in their right mind would hire me for a livable wage, I work for a company that sells electronic equipment near SF. My free time is spent trying to relive my glory days playing softball at Twin Creeks or cataloging my porn collection using the Dewey decimal system. It doesn't matter that the glory days was a brief period when I was 12 and 6 feet tall while everyone else was 5'8. They were glorious dammit!

My Interests

PC video games. Movies and books. Sports, Poker. Mad Libs. Solo strip poker. That way I always win.

I'd like to meet:

Only funny or normal people need apply. Or a cute funny chick with huge cans. I'm not picky.

Music:

Classical Rock with some alternative thrown in. Anything with Tim Finn or A Perfect Circle. Beethoven and Bach. Jazz with Miles Davis or Wynton Marsalis. Also only the original lineup of Menudo.

Movies:

Gangster movies, War movies, Alien movies, Documentaires and historical epics. Movies about gladiators. Swedish porn.

Television:

Deadwood, Sopranos, Simpsons, Family Guy, Daily Show, Cobert Report. All major sports except for the NBA which has turned into the WWE of pro sports. I'm waiting for someone to drop a folding chair on an opponent one of these days.

Books:

Too many to mention but lets says sport biographies and on the making of movies. I'm reading some historical boooks on Roosevelt and Hamilton. Playboy for the interviews.

Heroes:

The man who invented the remote control. Cmon, it had to have been a man that invented it. Also the discoverer of the G-Spot.

My Blog

rectum.....damn neared killed em.

Man I'm bored. You;d figure with Halloween coming up things would be alot more exciting. I didnt even feel like going out for any parties. Must be getting old. Also my damn DVD RW is killing me as its...
Posted by erik on Fri, 27 Oct 2006 10:28:00 PST

There's a pants party......

Well I finally eliminated the rant i had from a few weeks ago. Feels better to have gotten it off my chest although I'm sure there was a few people that thought after reading it I was keeping a diary ...
Posted by erik on Wed, 16 Aug 2006 10:53:00 PST

Man the A's stink again

Jeez they need some staring pitching. Just got back from Reno and since I have been gone they had given up at least 5 runs a game. Maybe I should start my comeback! My fastball is at least 65mph...
Posted by erik on Wed, 26 Jul 2006 11:35:00 PST

Weddings and such.

Got back from a trip over the weekend to Monterey and Big Sur to visits some friends and see a wedding. the trip itself was fine although traveling down 101 on a Friday afternoon toward LA is sometime...
Posted by erik on Tue, 27 Jun 2006 05:15:00 PST

Ok I guess the rant worked!

Hope everyone had a good Father's Day! By later this week we should have a new NBA and NHL champion. Looks like it will be Edmonton and Miami but who know as crazy as both playoffs have been. A's have...
Posted by erik on Tue, 20 Jun 2006 04:52:00 PST

A's are beginning to really suck.

How do you blow a 7 run lead? I thought that only happened to my softball team. Apparently the A's are equal to my softball team. No wonder the Indians got rid of Karsay, he sucks. If I could only thr...
Posted by erik on Fri, 26 May 2006 09:26:00 PST

Sharks

Well another day and another dissapointment. Sharks lose again in SJ in probably the last game this year here unles by some miracle they wake up and discover how to play again. 12 goals in 2 games doe...
Posted by erik on Mon, 15 May 2006 10:34:00 PST