Rachel

In the words of those who know me:
Rachel is a satire both savage and elegant.
- Roger Ebert.
Oh, she's very popular. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore her. They think she's a righteous dude.
-Grace, the secretary
You have more nicknames than anyone I've ever known.
- Bobby Smith
Nerds always fall in love with Rachel.
- Menk
You own more tank tops than necessary.
- her former roommates
It's in our best interest to keep her performing on a regular basis.
- President Bush
In my own words:
I have a lot of nicknames - and they all stick (Raero, Rarve, Current Ro, Ruggles, Rae Rae, Ruggelach, Tank Top, Tanker, Rarve Albert, Rache). I perform improv comedy. I cannot pass someone in Boston holding a map in their hands and not stop to ask if they need help finding something. I never realized until recently how much I enjoy laying on the couch and watching a good movie. I need to have a good cry every once in a while. Ok, maybe more than once in a while. I love when it gets nice outside and I can take my shoes off and play in the grass. I have the most amazing friends. I'm a birthday person. I like the word "douche." Also - "avocado." It's the best when you can laugh so hard that you have to cross your legs to prevent peeing just a little bit. I love to go see live music, but don't do it enough. I think a lot - maybe, too much. I am a writer. I like to share. I sing. I like to make other people smile. I hate clothes shopping. I lived in Israel for 6 months. Although I hate to admit it, I've become attached to my cell phone. I want to cook dinner more often. I make ice cream cake. It's really good. I pride myself on my parallel parking skills. I'm THAT good. I'm a cool computer geek. I cry watching movies. And Extreme-Makeover: Home Edition. I forgot my multiplication tables. I get injured during non-contact sports. I once knew a guy names Viet and his brother's name was Nam. That is for real.

Hold You In My Arms
by Ray LaMontagne

When you came to me with your bad dreams and your fears
It was easy to see that you'd been crying
Seems like everywhere you turn catastrophe it reigns
But who really profits from the dying
I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you forever
I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you in my arms forever
When you kissed my lips with my mouth so full of questions
It's my worried mind that you quiet
Place your hands on my face
Close my eyes and say
Love is a poor man's food
Don't prophesize
I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you forever
And I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you forever
So now we see how it is
This fist begets the spear
Weapons of war
Symptoms of madness
Don't let your eyes refuse to see
Don't let your ears refuse to hear
Or you ain't never going to shake this sense of sadness
I could hold you in my arms
I could hold on forever
And I could hold you in my arms
I could hold forever
Win a Date with me at ImprovBoston's Bachelorette Auction - May 4th, 2008!