J. Natalie - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Art Website - J.Natalie.com - go look... please?
I would just like to be myself from now on, if that's quite alright with you. This includes a lot of things. I am a smart ass. I like to think I'm right all the time, but I'm quick to admit when I'm wrong because I enjoy being proven wrong as well. Philosophical arguements and discussions are good for my soul. I have a case of chronic boredom. Please say something interesting or buy me a beer. I'm messy, but I'm a perfectionist. This happens when you don't want to do something until you have enough time to do it perfect and it ends up not getting done at all. Very frustrating. But when I do do things, their absolutely magical. I enjoy fixing things, this does not include people unless you need a finger sewn back on... I'll give it my best shot. I'm a crude pervert. I can't help it, I get it from my parents. I tend to make an ass of myself, ungracefully. Despite what people may tell you I am not crazy, merely bored (see above). *thinks* What else... oh, I ramble... a lot. I retain a lot of useless information and trivial details of events. I may remember memories from years ago... about breakfast we had and what shirt you were wearing and exactly what you said to me, but I won't remember we ever had breakfast at all without some visual or verbal trigger. I may not even know who you are, but I may remember what intersection you leaned out the car and puked at. I may forget you exist entirely unless you constantly remind me of your existence and so if I don't call you, it's probably you're fault.I could probably ramble on forever. I did warn you about halfway through. Anyways if you'd like to be friends... do something to catch my attention. Give me your witty fantasticness.Make me smile. Please.

My Interests

Art. J-Natalie.com

I'd like to meet:

I would like friends. Friends would be good. Maybe local friends. I have many friends I enjoy but they perhaps are far away. People who call me up and are like "hey lets get coffe and talk about hyenas" The psycho quota has been filled so positions are no longer available, but perhaps you will find a place in the various categories... listed bellow.

I think I'm just going to make a continuing list and just add kinds of people i like as I go.

Dog people.
I'm looking for a pianist. Not for any reason in particular... just so they can sit around and play. A cellist works too. I'd even settle for acoustic guitar.
People with unusual talents and missing fingers.
People who believe in the power of hugs.
People who want to give me money... for sex... i mean art.
Perverts.
Stalkers... I miss a good stalker.
Alcoholics... really smart alcoholics... cause then they have some awesome things to say when their drunk and we have amazing conversations.
People who pick up their phone.
Girls who wear overalls.
People who can consider folding clothes and cleaning my room good quality time. I'm serious.
Scientists.
Criminals.
Oh yea, I'm also in need of a secretary. Like bad. It's not that I can't do it but it takes me ten times as long as normal people and I'm going to go mad. I don't have money but I'll work something out. Details to come.
Did I mention psychos?
Buisiness people, because I am not one.
Wrestlers.
People who give me hand me down clothes.
Other smart asses
People with an unconventional sense of humor.
Human beings who have a conscience.
Mothers.
Cynical poets... who still end up writing about love.
People with unharnessed ambition.
People who can be different without it having to be a disease.
Collectors.
People who can relate to children... or at least want to.
People who miss being children.
People who like to hit small animals with their cars.Did I say that out loud... I meant clowns. I like clowns.
No I don't...
Aww, Fuck.

Music:

Elton John is god. I am his minion. Billy Joel. And then some of everything else.

Movies:

Ones that end. Closure.

Television:

Law and Order. CSI. Dexter. Nip/Tuck. In Plain Sight. Family Guy. Futurama. And Drawn Together when it's really late and I'm drunk.

Books:

I like books that make me want to get up and do something. Also stuff concerning the brain.

Heroes:

Myself. When I grow up, I wanna be just like me.

My Blog

Dont you worry hurry me, Im gonna pack up your eyes with sand.

*strum* *strum* *strum* *strum* This is me playing a guitar. *itch**itch* *itch* *itch* This is me itching. *swish**swash* *chomp* *chomp* ...
Posted by J. Natalie on Fri, 26 Sep 2008 03:05:00 PST

And so it goes, and so it goes. And so will you soon I suppose.

They sit across from me, wondering how I got here. Where I'm going. I would have never thought they were thinking that if I was just. Just. Going home. But I'm not. And I don't. So I...
Posted by J. Natalie on Fri, 12 Sep 2008 09:59:00 PST

Take the shade from the canvas and leave me the white.

"Sometimes a person sees or hears something at a particular pivotal moment. Behind the moment, though, is a lot of time, years maybe, where all manner of unfed desires and dashed dreams have been jam...
Posted by J. Natalie on Sun, 07 Sep 2008 02:23:00 PST

A latent strain of color blindness.

I'm pretty sure I'm talking to myself yet I feel no mouth. I can't even find my mouth much less close it. I wonder if I'm talking. I wonder if they hear me. If their listening,...
Posted by J. Natalie on Thu, 03 Jul 2008 03:02:00 PST

You were so difficult so black hole in a china shop.

I sleep with the chew toys of past pets. And I wonder why my life is so cluttered. Forgive me, forgive me I say. And I'm constantly on my knees, begging forgiveness from an unjealous God.&...
Posted by J. Natalie on Mon, 12 May 2008 10:57:00 PST

It was then I felt the stranger kick me right between the eyes.

Sometimes everything is so fucking still. It's these times when I feel my life slipping itself into the comforting suction of the mud. A clock might even be comforting now. Not...
Posted by J. Natalie on Wed, 23 Apr 2008 10:24:00 PST

I cant control my fingers I cant control my brain. I want to be elated.

She puts a shot glass up to her eye. One open. Looking at me through the bottom of a bad night. I stare back. Two open. And like a telescope of distorted clairvoyance, I discover the...
Posted by J. Natalie on Thu, 27 Mar 2008 10:22:00 PST

Its just a perfect reflection, you and no one else.

One day you'll figure it out. You're not prettier or better than anyone. Just like I did. How many intelligent people in history have died alone and unsatisfied. H...
Posted by J. Natalie on Mon, 21 Jan 2008 09:54:00 PST

Why friends dont let friends have friends, and 15 other ways to have sex with a brain.

I've been trying to post a blog for a long time now.. Each time I try I think "No I'm going to regret posting this." So I save it and wait a day and I go back and read it and think... why did I ...
Posted by J. Natalie on Tue, 08 Jan 2008 10:24:00 PST

Come together, right now.... over me.

I remember the last time someone told me I didn't know what love was. I was in full neoprene scrubbing the barnacles off a boat I wished I owned when I looked up from the frigid water& and there...
Posted by J. Natalie on Wed, 05 Dec 2007 06:35:00 PST