Jay... - ProfilesArchive

About Me

My name is Jason or Jay or really anything else you want to call me. Except Ass Face. That may hurt my feelings. Or maybe it wouldn't. I guess it really depends on the inflection and context. I'm irrevocably addicted to McDonald's breakfast, Basketball, Chocolate Lucky Charms, Puppies(shut up), and soda. I've yet to determine what i truly want to do with my life but at the moment I'm teetering between Vampire Hunter or a Fry-Cook on Venus (50 bonus points if you get that reference). I pretend to be quite intellectual but in actuality, I have found that my IQ is somewhere between that of Humphrey Bogart and the color Purple. I would rather grow a tail than have the ability to fly. My favorite animal is a platypus, because its like having TWO favorite animals. I hate to repeat myself. I hate to repeat myself. If i had a native american name it would be Broken Promises. I'm convinced animals can secretly talk. I long for the days of Disney Afternoon Cartoons. "Where for art thou Darkwing Duck?" I'm a pretty laid back guy always willing to high five awesome people and drop-kick dirt bags. It's telling them apart that has proven to be difficult. So please excuse me if my feet connect with your face, and if you get an undeserved high five...a dragon punch awaits you! My ultimate goal in life is to...
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My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Anyone who can teach me something new. Like how to fold an origami swan or how to create plutonium out of common household items. Also, I would like to meet two of the fictional characters portrayed by the genius who truly appreciates the splendor of the epic film Mac And Me, Paul Rudd. Those being Brian Fantana of Anchorman and Andy of Wet Hot American Summer. If you haven't seen these movies, do yourself a favor: kick your own ass, then go down to your nearest video store and pick them up. It'll make your life that much more meaningful. Trust me, 60% of the time, it works every time. Also, I'd like to meet Chuck Norris. Did you know one day while fighting dragons in Canada, a beaver chewed a hole in Chuck Norris' log cabin. Enraged, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the beaver so hard, that it flew clean through a duck that passed overhead and continued to disappear into the horizon. One week later, the platypus was discovered in Australia. Coincidence? I think not. As for people i DONT want to meet? That's an easy one. Skeletor....that is one evil dude.HERE IS MY FRIEND SINGING COLORS OF THE WIND....YOUR WELCOME.

Music:

"And I think it's gonna be a long long time, till touch down brings round again to find, I'm not the man they think at home oh no no no...I'm a Rocket Man."

Movies:

"What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you say you love...That's what matters. That's the only thing that counts."

Television:

I GOT A FEVER! AND THE ONLY PERSCRIPTION, IS MORE COWBELL!

Books:

Kurt Vonnegut. That's all i have to say. Oh, and NEVER read Old Man and the Sea. The only thing more boring than fishing is watching fishing and the only thing more boring than that is reading about fishing. Allegory my ass...

Heroes:

Me and You. All we need to change the world.

My Blog

The Time for Change...

..Has Past. I don't know if its total disillusionment, but I've come to the sad conclusion that the United States of America just doesn't have what it takes to get anything done anymore. Not big thing...
Posted by Jay... on Sun, 15 Apr 2007 01:26:00 PST

Kurt Vonnecut Jr dies at 84

Perhaps the best epitaph for my favorite authour is the phrase he repeatedly used in his masterpiece, "Slaughter-house-Five" whenever someone died - "So it Goes..." ...
Posted by Jay... on Sat, 14 Apr 2007 05:15:00 PST

Figures...

Gen. tried to warn Bush on Tillman (as reported on Yahoo News) SAN JOSE, Calif. - Just seven days after Pat Tillman's death, a top general warned there were strong indications that it was friendly fir...
Posted by Jay... on Fri, 30 Mar 2007 03:38:00 PST

The Room is Spinning... Cause of the Gayness...

Back in High School in my sophomore year, I joined the Junior Varsity Football Team. I had always liked playing with friends at recess during intermediate and was looking forward to having a fun...
Posted by Jay... on Fri, 09 Feb 2007 03:19:00 PST

I'm not exactly sure if i'm shocked...

Bush's new Iraq policy... Send 21,500 more troops to Iraq. Wow... Really? Bush has been quoted as saying. "I believe it will work." Wow... Really? And this plan has been called the "New Way". Wow... R...
Posted by Jay... on Fri, 19 Jan 2007 12:34:00 PST

Barack Obama... Get To Know Him

Hey Everyone, a friend of mine posted a bulletin with a CNN article in it about hopeful Presidential candidate Barack Obama. I'm really really intrigued by this man and am looking forward to seeing ho...
Posted by Jay... on Wed, 17 Jan 2007 04:48:00 PST

Post Christmas Thoughts

Every year around 11:30 pm on Christmas Eve, my family gathers together in the living room in front of the tree and gets ready to open presents. But before we can do that, it has been a holiday tradit...
Posted by Jay... on Tue, 26 Dec 2006 11:03:00 PST

A Gift for My Friends

Hey everyone, This has been a great year for me and I just wanted to let you all know that each and everyone one of you has made that possible. I want to thank you all, from the bottom of my heart and...
Posted by Jay... on Wed, 20 Dec 2006 01:55:00 PST

Phew

Crisis Averted.... The Holiday season may resume as scheduled. Thanks to everyone who messaged me with their concern.
Posted by Jay... on Sat, 16 Dec 2006 04:53:00 PST

...

Did you ever have the most terrifying nightmare only you realize... You're not asleep? This can't be happening...
Posted by Jay... on Wed, 13 Dec 2006 01:36:00 PST