FORTRESS

I am what I do. And I am who I strive to be. And I like to do everything. I work hard but I love my work. I love hard but I believe in taking chances. I live hard because every moment has beauty in it. I believe in the simple things that seem to have been forgotten these days: like honor and integrity, you are who you are even when noone is looking- who are you in the middle of the night? Like kindness- in doing the little things to make other people's lives brighter and better. Like love- like giving your heart and loving freely, even knowing the pain will inevitably come. Like silliness- the joy of letting go and not caring what other people think and doing something because it seems, well, like it'd be fun to do. Like responsibility- in owning up to your own messes and taking care of your shit, even if you don't want to.
I was broken for a long time and I think I'm over being broken. Or going to try to be. I've had my fortress walls up for awhile now, but it's time to let them down I think. Or, try to. It's not easy, but I think I want to try.
MY EYES
How do I show him what I see?
We’re all patchworks of brokenness
But that he still has goodness left-
It a beautiful thing
But his course is his choosing
Likewise, I make mine.
But while we can run together
I will try to be a mirror
And show him through my eyes
MOMENTS
This moment is a cloak
Holding me
From a cloak I change it
Beat it into
A ring. To wear.
Sometimes an umbrella
My shield. I wield it such.
Or whatever,
And the colors. The
Dark hues
Or the bright flashes
Each moment
Vastly different
I drown in black and blue
But fly
In yellow.
I think. I think
I like them all.
Colorquiz.com- updated 9/23- this thing scares me sometimes. . .
Your Existing Situation
Seeks to express the need for identification in a sensitive and intimate atmosphere where esthetic or emotional delicacy can be protected and nurtured.
Your Stress Sources
Has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and to stand out from the herd. This desire for preeminence isolates her and inhibits her readiness to give herself freely. While she wants to surrender and let herself go, she regards this as a weakness which must be resisted. This self-restraint, she feels, will lift her above the rank and file and ensure recognition as a unique and distinctive personality.
Your Restrained Characteristics
Believes that she is not receiving her share--that she is neither properly understood or adequately appreciated. Feels that she is being compelled to conform, and close relationships leave her without any sense of emotional involvement. Trying to calm down and unwind after a period of over-agitation which has left her listless and devoid of energy. In need of peace and quiet; becomes irritable if this is denied her. Feels that things stand in her way, that circumstances are forcing her to compromise and forgo some pleasures for the time being.Your Desired Objective
Desires release from an unsatisfactory situation and from existing burdens which are both depressing and intolerable. Seeking a way out, but feels there is no solution. Tries to protect herself against becoming involved in arguments and conflict.
Your Actual Problem
The unsatisfied desire to be respected, to stand out from amongst her friends, is causing some anxiety. As a result, normal gregariousness is suppressed and she refuses to allow herself to become involved, or to participate with others in their ordinary activities.p