Betting on Professional boxing , Eel fishing , actually on that subject if you're ever skint in London and hungry eel fishing is the awnser they're a doddle to catch , taste good and you can catch them in the Thames which is the river that runs through London so you'll never be far away from it .A friend was catching them and told me they taste good i asked what like and he said like trout now this i didn't beleive as i've tried jellied eels and they were disgusting but i caught wild brown trout as a youngster in Ireland so know what a true wild trout tastes like as opposed to a supermarket one so i decided to try for myself . They're easy to catch the best bait is Chicken preferably Halal if you're skint just go to Iceland and you can get a couple of legs near the sell-by date for 50p alternatively go to you're local Bengali butchers and get a couple of hallal legs for about 80p you can also barter while you're in the Bengali shop for example just tell them you're a bit skint but if they give you say 4 pieces you'll catch about 6 eels big ones and you'll bring back 2 for them they like that as they like to make an Eel curry . If you change you're mind and don't bring them back to them just don't go back to the shop again and make sure you remember 'cos if they see u around they'll chase u down the road . Also word gets around that the fishing is good so u have to expect that as u go to you're spot the Bengalis will turn up mobhanded as they like to get in on the action but don't worry too much as they're fishing methods are pretty lame usually mackerel feathers which they've used back in the river Ganges but eels feed off the bottom so they won't catch any .If you can't bring yourself to do this and are still skint then just nick a couple of legs from the Iceland store while doing it nick a packet of Cadbury's Smash while you're at it as this will come in handy later don't worry too much about getting nicked as Iceland does everything at a discount so they're security staff are usually too underpaid to be bothered to give chase . Anyway back to basics make sure use a lead weight and get that chicken to the bottom and the bites will soon come those eels fight like wildcats so b careful sometimes it takes two of us to lift one out so hard they fight .In fact where we fish there's so much toot floating about i think some has fallen in the River and energised the eel more than usual . When you've got them out on the bank they'll squiggle about a lot but here's a trick and the sad part just stroke the eel on her underside and she'll lay down very calm for you cut the line , don't bother trying to get the hook out as you'll be there all day , and pop the eel into a big plastic bag the eel lives out of water for a long time so will be o.k.Some of those Thames eels are as big as lamposts (check the pics to see )one . If you have to go back home by Bus make sure the plastic bag is tied tight 'cos if the eel gets out you'll be even more unpopular than you usually are . When you get home get two friends to hold the back of the eel get a small axe and chop it's head off very sharp knife slit the underside remove insides and you're ready to go . Chop the eel into small salmon steak like slices boil a pan add parsley fry butter into a pan some of the eel slices coat in flour and pop into the frying pan the rest pop into the boiling water after 10-15 mins theyre basically done mix up you're cadbury's smash that you nicked earlier and you 're nearly there for a final touch get some flour make into a paste like when you make custard add this to some of the water you boiled the eels in and this will make the wonderful green liquor you get in the pie and mash shops .That's it ! and when you taste that beautiful eel it will taste just like wild brook trout ! Also just remember there are other long term benefits in doing this as well for example you can fuck that Gordon Ramsay Haggis face off forever also you don't have to worry about that mockney jamis oliver twat nicking you're recipe either as he'll be eating his grandma's jellied eels for the next 20 yrs ...and you thought Izaak Walton was good . The only drawback we've found to date is that the next day you're stomach feels like it's got a bit of lead pipe in it we haven't quite worked that one out yet ....
Romance and RelationshipsThis is a shocking True story ...truly shocking ....of far reaching consequences .... and a word of warning to anyone who is prone to developing an unsound mind . A friend of mine Ray his wife wanted to buy a pet bird Ray said no problem he didn't mind , anything to keep the peace indoors and the bird could be kept in a cage in the conservatory . Ray's wife never been one to miss a bargain saw a bird advertised cheap in the East London Advertiser she was down there like a shot . It was an African Grey Parrot normally worth about £1200 and the owner only wanted £20 for it . Ray's wife was over the moon but was a little bit sceptical in case the parrot had Bird Flu so asked the owner why he was selling the bird so cheap . " Well " said the owner " The parrot used to kept in Stradford Sauna " a notorious knocking shop in the east end of london (Of course i'd never been to this establishment i'd only just heard about it.... ) which the authorities had recently closed down due to an influx of mad kosovan birds far greater in density than any reasonable demographic country could expect to absorb .While the parrot was kept in Stradford sauna it had picked up some rather choice language and the owner could no longer tolerate so was letting it go for a song . "Well " thought Ray's wife she'd put up with a bit of bad language to snap up a £1200 bird for a score so snapped up the Parrot .When she got the parrot home she put it on a perch and made a cup of tea staight away the Parrot started saying to Ray's wife " Show us a bit of leg then " to " Get ure tit's out ! " " Knicker's Off ! " and other such fruity words which Ray's wife found quite amusing and tittillating . Then after about 1/2 an hour Ray's daughters came home to which the parrot shouted " New Girls ! , New Girl's ! " and carried on with the saucy remarks . Ray's wife always being enterprising began to think other opportunities her Ann Summer's parties hadn't been doing to well of late but now with parrot around sales would go through the roof . In fact so convinced was Ray's wife she booked two parties and ordered 25 of those purple rabbit vibrators in advance knowing sales would increase .Then ... Ray come home .... he took of his coat and walked into the front room and straight away the Parrot said " Hello Ray ! , Great to see you again good to see some things haven't changed around here ! "Disaster ..... in one foul swoop Ray's life was changed forever ......divorce came quick he lost his £450k house in Woodford where he was just digging out his own fishing lake and about to put some eels in .. the last i see of him he was living in some dingy bedsit in Leyton trawling the internet for hours looking for some cheap Thai bride but without the nessecary wasn't having much luck .....So you see what can happen ... and the morale of this sad story is of course .... Never use you're real name ! .. at any costs always a false one .. The easiest way to remember you're false names is think of someone's name who you really detest as you'll never forget that ... the teacher or priest who tried it on with you is always a good one ... or even better that Chelsea fan you gave a good kicking too back in you're I.C.F. days ..........
On the Waterfront ..... i generally don't like modern films as they're usually crap for example i took my son to see Pirates of the Carribean tonite and what a load of cack that was . Johnny Depp what kind of Pirate was that mean't to be ?.... he was about as intimidating as Kenneth Williams and as for that Cockney accent it's the worse i've heard since that Dick Van Dyke bloke in Mary Poppins i'm surprised he hasn't really had the piss taken out of himself over it in fact i'm surprised he hasn't gone into hiding so bad it was . As for Kierra Knightley what kind of Method school acting was that ?... she reminded me of my mate in school who the Teacher used to call the Undertaker 'cos of his dull monotone amo , amas , amat ..and all that grt range there Kierra .Actually any bets on where johnny depp learnt that cockney accent from ?was it jude law ?? ....come back Oliver Reed all is forgiven .
Harry Greb