Kaiser Von Shizer profile picture

Kaiser Von Shizer

I didn't change. I just opened my eyes,

About Me


    I love my son more than anyone....ANYONE! I have been known to indulge in lots of Jack Daniels. 80's hair metal is the shit! Look ridiculous most of the time. Can dance like Axl better than you. Seriously. Am shy unless im plowed in which case I am the most cocky motherfucker you've ever met. Think there should be a font for sarcasm. Spin Drum N' Bass.....weird huh? Tight pants rule. Moose Knuckles do not. I own lace up spandex....


My Interests

Jack Daniels*Whiskey*Glam!*Sleaze*Hair Product*Eyeliner*Tattoos*Horror*Gore*Rocking the fuck out*Collecting Vinyl*Comic Books*Audio Production*Graphic Design*Photography*Retro Pin Ups*Computers*Video Games*Clothing*Rocking the Jukebox

I'd like to meet:

Slash, 87' Axl Rose, Sixxer, The Duke, Johnny Cash, Sinatra or anyone with something interesting and intelligent to say.

Music:


Guns N' F'n Roses


Skid Row
Motley Crue
Cinderella
Hardcore Superstar
The Wildhearts
Faster Pussycat
CrashDiet
Backyard Babies
Blacklist Union
Hanoi Rocks
Vains of Jenna
The Bronx
The Sex Slaves
The Misfits
Dangerous Toys
Broken Teeth
Danzig
Samhain
New York Dolls
The Clash
The Dead Boys
Iggy and the Stooges
Pantera
Ministry
Supersuckers
Corosion of Conformity
Bleeding Through
Children of Bodom
Zeke
Motorhead
Killing Joke
Slayer
As I Lay Dying
Anything From Mike Patton
The Cult
In Flames
Killswitch Engage
Lamb of God
Amen
Wednesday 13
Crank County Daredevils
Sinatra
Johnny Cash (He Hates You To Michelle)
Hank Williams Sr.
Hank III
Elvis
Social D (Mike Ness Solo Included)
The Rev.
Mindless Self Indulgance
Bullet For My Valentine
Avail
The Faint
Alice In Chains
Alkaline Trio
Dead Kennedies
Bad Religion
Pennywise
Propaghandi
Face to Face
Hot Water Music
The New Bomb Turks
The Dwarves
Me First and The Gimme Gimmes
The Cure
The Psychedelic Furs
Depeche Mode
Billy Idol
Agnostic Front
AFI
Tiger Army
Black Sun Empire
Noisia
Dylan
Evol Intent
Corrupt Souls
Gridlok
E-Sassin
Limewax
Raiden
Autechre
Squarepusher
Aphex Twin
Throbbing Gristle
Spor
Fuck! I'm all over the board.

Movies:

Porn-The Gay Kind
Snuff
Gleaming The Cube
Top Gun!
Short Circuit
Cannibal The Musical
Anyone where someones getting their ass kicked by a small Asian man.
Boondock Saints
Death to Smoochy
Red Violin
Run Lola Run
Nil By Mouth
Just about any Horror movie.Have you seen the garbage that is Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 with Dustin Hoffman? It's so horrible....I love it!

Television:

History Channel
A&E
National Geographic
Speed Channel
UFC shit.

Books:

Overcoming Impotence
The Dirt
The Science of Good and Evil
Lesbian and Gay Book of Love and Marriage
Steal This Book
Book Of Mormon

Heroes:

The Nelson Twins
WHAM!
My penis!
Axl's future hair stylist
The Future Cast of Schindlers List 2: Lets get this party started

My Blog

Wosrt Lyrics of All Time

So apparently the BBC did a search for the worst lyrics of all time....drum roll please...> #1 Des'ree - LifeI don't want to see a ghost, It's the sight that I fear most, I'd rather have a piece...
Posted by Kaiser Von Shizer on Wed, 09 May 2007 12:42:00 PST

Landscape

Ive been working on some 3d rendering. Here is what i came up with  today....
Posted by Kaiser Von Shizer on Tue, 01 May 2007 03:38:00 PST

Without You by Del James

This is the short story that the November Rain video from GnR is based on. Without You By Del James Although he wanted to share the dance, Mayne could not bring himself to interrupt such beauty. Her...
Posted by Kaiser Von Shizer on Thu, 18 Jan 2007 08:09:00 PST

TALK SAFETY TO ME

TALK SAFETY TO ME Disclaimer: I did not write this.Does Bret Michaels really need a bodyguard? Of course he does! Remember how every two-bit singer from Lionel Richie to the Mandrell Sisters ins...
Posted by Kaiser Von Shizer on Wed, 10 Jan 2007 11:04:00 PST

My nukas!(Picture Blog)

My NUMBA one NUKA!!!!!! He doesn't wanna be a cowboy. I don't blame him. Daddy makes rockstars....Hes perfected the stare down."Daddy, do you wear a cowboy hat?" hmmmm....... Are those Rock n' Roll b...
Posted by Kaiser Von Shizer on Thu, 28 Sep 2006 11:51:00 PST

Adventures w/ bloodninja

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?BritneySpears14: Aight.bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodn...
Posted by Kaiser Von Shizer on Wed, 09 Aug 2006 01:22:00 PST

Pooping on The Clock?

Ok, We know I have a metabolism of legend. The work poop is something I deal with daily, sometimes multiple times in a day.We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our...
Posted by Kaiser Von Shizer on Tue, 08 Aug 2006 01:03:00 PST

If your child is born on 6/6/06

If Your Child Is Born on 06-06-06 A Checklist For Christian MothersFreehold, Iowa - A number of panicked Christian ladies across America are scheduled to give birth on June 6th, 2006. This date raise...
Posted by Kaiser Von Shizer on Mon, 05 Jun 2006 01:55:00 PST

Ask Push:Part One

[16:07] bitchslaplancex: dude. let me ask you a a serious question [16:07] YoItsPUSH: Ok [16:07] bitchslaplancex: have you ever been hanging out with a hot girl and all of a sudden had a monster of a ...
Posted by Kaiser Von Shizer on Mon, 15 May 2006 02:15:00 PST

I like using my hands!

The Teaser The Pleaser The Shocker The Spocker The Rocker The Show Stopper ...
Posted by Kaiser Von Shizer on Fri, 12 May 2006 10:22:00 PST