a shogun named cuzn

Pick your favorite....& this is NOT an offer!1) The Stranger - Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.2) Donkey Punch – Banging a girl doggy style and moments before you cum, sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the back of the head. Thjis gives you a tremendous sensation, but for it to work correctly, the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up.3) Golden Shower - Pissing on someone, which from now on, should be refferred to as an "R. Kelly"4) Pearl Necklace - the glorious culmination of tit-fucking, in which you blow your nuts out all over a girl's tits, shoulders, neck, and, with any luck, chin. one of the highest expressions of love and affection bestowable upon a woman by a man.5) Coyote - This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty woman and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.6) Purple Mushroom – This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek. It should leave a lasting impression similar to a purple mushroom.7) The Flying Camel – As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl. Strictly a class move.8) Double Fishhook – From the doggy-style position, you hook your pinky fingers in her mouth and pull back to achieve deeper penetration.9) The Ram – Again, your attacking from behind, when you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration.10) Dog in a Bathtub – This is the proper term when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass.11) The Bronco – Back to reality with this classic. You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her tits as tightly as possible and yell another girl's name. this gives you the feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off.12) Pink Glove – This frequently happens during sex when a girl is not wet enough. When you pull out to give her the money, the inside of her twat sticks to your hog. This the pink glove.13) The Fountain of You – While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before releasing, spewing like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed)14) New York Style Taco – Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down on her, you puke on her box. Happy Trails.15) Dirty Sanchez - After having anal sex, the man pulls out his penis and wipes it across his partners lip, forming an authentic looking Mexican moustache.16) Western Grip - When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your thumb is facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use. Hence, western.17) The Blumpkin – You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her suck you off while on the shitter.18) The Raspberry Bismark - Blowing your load in a chicks face, then punching her in the nose, making it bleed, smeer the blood and the ejaculate and you got a raspberry bismark!19) Jelly Doughnut - the act of ejaculating onto the face of a woman after oral sex and then proceeding to punch her nose for the desired result of cum and blood on her face, and she finds it erotic. (note: the term "jelly doughnut" is derived from the combination of cum and blood resembling a freshly bitten jelly doughnut.)20) Woody Woodpecker - When a girl is sucking on your balls, and you tap the head of your cock on her forehead. Just like Woody Woodpecker Would.21) Tossing Salad - the act of placing your tongue in a male or females ass, and probing all around the circumferance of the asshole, while aiding the person in masturbation.22) The Fish Eye -The fish eye occurs when doing a girl from behind, or doggie style if you will, and then suddenly and without warning, attempting, purposely or accidentally, to lodge it in her pooper. She will most certainly become wide-eyed and turn her head to look at you in horror. From your angle ou would only be able to see one wide open eye - resembling a fish eye.23) Tuna Melt - When going down on a chick, lapping away, and you discover that it's her time of the month. By no means do you stop though. When the whale spews, tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your face.24) The Fur Ball - You're chomping away at some mighty Zena who has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, when a mammoth fur ball gets lodged in your throat. You punch her.25) The Chili Dog - When you take a hot dump on a girl's tits and then proceed to titty fuck her.26) Gaylord Perry – Going only one knuckle during an anal probe is for wimps. Make this famous knuckle ball pitcher proud and use multiple digits on that virgin corn hole.27) The Rear Admiral - The act of engaging in sexual intercourse in the doggy style position. The giver then uses his hands to knock the recievers hands out from under them causing them to fall on their face. You are promoted to a Rear Admiral when you can push your partner anywhere in the room without using your hands.28) Glass Bottom Boat – Putting saran wrap over the skank's face and taking a dump.29) Ray Ban's – Put your nuts over the eye sockets while getting head. You're can is on her forehead. Yes, it may be anatomically impossible, but it is definitely worth a try.30) The Snowmobile – When plugging a girl while she's on all fours, reach around and sweep out her arms so she falls on her face.31) The Dutch Oven – Also well known. Whenever you fart while humping, pull the covers over her head. Don't let her out until all movement ceases.32) Donkey Toboggan - a donkey toboggan is when you are ------- a girl in the butt at the top of the stairs and you donkey punch her and ride her down the stairs like a toboggan.33) Rusty Trombone – Getting the reacharound while getting your salad tossed. Also known as milking the prostate.34) Turkey Shoot – When you're coming, come on her face and let it drip off her chin so it looks like that red shit on the turkey's chin.35) Stovepiping – Taking in the tush.36) Rusty Anchor – After a healthy term of the Stovepiping, the recipient gets to enjoy a good fudgecicle.37) Sandpiper –A stovepiping on the local beach, desert, or playground sandbox.Lucky Pierre – The middle man in a three way buttfuck.39) Divortex – A mystical place into which old friends are sucked when a married couple splits up.40) Blump – To suck someone's dick while they are taking a dump.41) Bustard – A very rude driver.42) Cold Faithful - Blowing your visibly-steaming load outside in the winter-time, like when you get your cock sucked on a ski-lift.43) Butt Rodeo - Invite your friends over and get them to hide in the closet. Then, get your girlfriend going doggy style and quickly jam it in her arse while grabbing her hair and yelling "Butt rodeo! Butt rodeo!" Then, have your friends jump out of the closet and turn the lights on while you try to hold on for 8 seconds.44) Bargoyle – The hideous old hair spray hag who seems to live at your local watering hole. She usually smokes endlessly, spends hundreds of dollars a night on video-poker, and makes sexually threatening comments to frightened college freshman.45) Stufffucking –The act of "Stuffing in" your limp, helpless member in hopes of getting it up. Potential causes: you're too drunk or she's too ugly.46) Emeril - descriptive of the act of having doggy styled sex, spitting on the females backside and claiming you've ejaculated, and when she turns around to ejaculated in her face saying "BAM47) The Flying Camel -The Flying Camel - A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then to flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl. Strictly a class move48) The Flaming Amazon – This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When you're screwing some chic, right when your about to cum, pull out and quickly grab the nearest lighter ans set her pubes on fire, then extinguish the flames with your jizz.49) The Screwicorn – When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead and proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn.50) Anal Boot - An anal boot is when you take a pitcher of beer, everyone spits in it, someone stirs it with their cock and then the mixture is poured through the crack of a man's ass and into the waiting mouth of the loser of a bet or drinking game.51) Fumilingus – When a man performs cunnilingus on a woman and she farts directly in his face.52) Intoxicourse –Having sexual intercourse whilist piss drunk.53) Valsalva - The act of pinching shut (with thumb and forefinger) a woman's nose while receiving fellatio; most effective when employed just prior to the release point due to the gag reflex and ensuing swallow that the woman is forced to do to continue breathing. A great first date ploy, as it sets the stage for what the rules of engagement will be going forward.54) Ass gasm- an orgasm stimulated by penetration of the ass.55) Insta gasm – Premature ejaculation at the sight of a beautiful woman.56) Manual Deconstipation – This is where you get out of hand cream and go in manually for the hammerhead by breaking it into smaller chunks and pulling it out a piece at a time.57) Post Poodum Syndrome – The feeling of depression felt after successful removal of a hammerhead. The excitement has passed and you must now find something else to occupy your time.58) Pegging – Having a female take you in the rear with a strap on.59) The Twinkler – When you are 69ing a girl and you shove your dick into mouth hard, and you watch her asshole "twinkle" as she gags.60) Angry Dragon -While a girl is sucking you off, right as you are about to cum, you grab hold of her head and pull her mouth as far onto your cock as possible. She proceeds to gag from the cock unexpectedly being rammed down her throat, but since your cock is blocking her air passage, her cough (and your cum) exit through her nose. The cum dripping out of both of the girl's nostrils, resembles a dragon's snout - and after pulling a stunt like this, you can be sure she's going to be an angry one.61) The Tony Danza - when a man is engaging in sexual and/or anal intercourse (with a woman preferably) one must strike the recipient with an open or closed fist with much force and simultaneously yell "Who's the Boss?" To which the recipient will no doubt answer "You are!" And one loudly replies "No, Bitch, Tony Danza's the Boss!" (Optional: a second strike may or may not accompany this correction)62) Alaskan Firedragon -when a chick is giving a guy a blowjob, and he cums unexpectedly and plugs her mouth up with his hand and then says something like "I have syphilis" and she gets sick and spews it all out her nose.63) The Walrus – When she is giving you a blowjob and you cum in her mouth unexpectedly, cover up her mouth and punch her in the stomach.64) Sleeping bag – If you are going down on a really fat girl, you pull her enormous stomach roll of fat over your head.65) The Houdini - a magic trick of sorts, when you are banging a chick from behind you fake an orgasm, pull out, and spit on her back jerking off all the while, you must time it right so when she turns around thinking the love making is over, you cum right in her face!66) Journey into Darkness – This is the most disturbing of all. It entails shitting into another person's asshole.67) Rocky Balboa – Don't shower for 2 weeks, then diarrhea down her throat at any point during sexual contact.68) Rocky Balboa Title Punch – same as the Rocky Balboa, but in the non-showering 2 weeks all you eat is corn.69) Arabian Goggles - A "seldom-seen" maneuver when you put your testicles over her eye sockets while getting head. (Picture it:ass on forehead) It may be anatomically impossilbe, but what the fuck else is new.70) Shocker - The act of inserting 2 fingers into the vaginal opening (normally the index and middle fingers), and 1 into the anus (normally the "pinky" finger). This is usually performed when she is laying back, in the "deep thrust" position (see "deep thrust" for more hardcore info). Commonly described a numerous number of ways, e. g. 2 in the pink, 1 in the stink; two in the grass one in the ass; two in the slut one in the butt; two in the koot, one in the boot; going to town with one in the brown; and many more, this method of sexual gratification is one sought out by people of all levels. But only grand masters, like the Big Johnson have perfected it71) Angry Pirate - when a woman is giving a man head, he pulls out, and nuts in her eye. Upon doing this, she will let out some sort of grunt of disapproval, and at this point he kicks her in the shin. This poor girl, being pissed and hurt, will hobble after your laughing ass.72) Alabama Hot Pocket - The Alabama Hot Pocket is a special fetish maneuver that roughly involves taking a shit into a woman's vagina, typically followed up by a good ole fuckin'. The term "Alabama" originated from a lesser known, but crucial additional practice that involves "Porky Piggin'" the female who has recieved the Hot Pocket. In Alabama, you see, good old redneck boys, when bored, would fuck pig troughs or large, wet piles of mud. To properly perform the Porky Piggin' follow-up procedure, one must take a massive shit onto the vagina WITHOUT spreading the lips. This creates a core that enters the woman, and then dregs that explode out all over her. By randomly stabbing with the cock, one will successfully Porky Piggin' the girl... repeating, naturally, the action that would normally be associated with screwing a pile of mud or animal trough.73) Cincinnati bowtie - When you reverse titty-fuck a girl. So your balls and cock are upside-down and it looks like she is wearing a fleshy bow-tie. It's called "cincinnati" because they do everything backwards there74) Aligator Fuckhouse -A daring sexual maneuver: Mid-coitus, one person bites the neck of the other, locks their arms and legs down and goes into a deathroll, all while maintaining insertion. Like downshifting a car75) Tea Bag - The act squatting over a suspecting victim and placing one's scrotum in their oral orifice. The tea bagged victim then awakens with a mouth full of pubic hair, not to mention two fatty nuts76) Hot Lunch – While receiving head from a woman, you shit on her chest