im shy. i like long walks on short beaches. i like to watch sunsets from the rear view mirror of my car so it looks like im going really fast. my favorite fruit is the peach. i love birds. im a sucker for redheads. i can lift 100lbs. right over my head. my favorite candy is cinnamon. i once spread peanutbutter on my crotch and and let my.....wait, i don't even know you. i love to drink irish whiskey. puppies! i love puppies! love the moon. i saw a girl take a shit on a glass coffee table...while i was under it (don't knock it til ya try it;-) did i mention im shy? oh yeah, kittens! i love them too. but not as much as baby bunnies! once in band camp, i saw 2 unicorns doin it in a magical forest.i drink my beer on ice cause it makes me feel fancy. sometime when im home alone i like to take a couple viagra, 2 sleeping pills, and 3 ex-lax and see what happens first....so far i've found im a winner every time! ever woke up after a hard night of drinkin to find a used condom on your back, a dead goat next to you, and hoof marks on your shoulders and wonder....who fucked who and how'd the goat die?.....oh sure, you fuck one goat and you're a goat fucker for life! blow me! i mentioned im shy, right? i love a girl w/ a big nose, sure its a strange fetish but the 69 is soooo much better. pigtails and plaid skirts! need i say more? thinkin about marriage? here's a tip: find a girl you really don't like.....and buy her a house. if you pee on a girl in a mud puddle its not considered a golden shower, right? 3 tips for life: 1.never fight a guy w/ a big belt buckle. 2.if drinkin w/ the british marines, never call the queen a whore. 3.never high five the cops!
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