Mind Phase Reality
Lord Grundle
Check out my other profile at www.myspace.com/lordgrundle
Anything that intrigues me
I'd like to meet:
Moving to the sound of nothing
I am not sure what I am looking for.
I enjoy taking model photography. I am very thankful to each and every single person that I have work with. This is what I do from time to time. And I enjoy almost every moment of it. I am always looking for new ideas and models to help capture a concept of beauty. This is just a hobby and right now I am taking a break to explore new styles.
I enjoy photo editing. I love the idea of changing a photo around to create a brand new feel to it. This is another one of my passtimes that helps me cope with my depression.
In the Loving memory of Kelsey Leigh Box.
(MArch 17, 1985 - Feb 12, 2005)
You will always be missed.
You were as beautiful as a angel.
And I will never forget how beautiful you made this world for me. I will always love you, and miss you. I would do anything to have you back, just to be able to see your smile one last time. I miss so you so much.
I lost some real close to me in 2005 right before Valentines day. It has been extemely difficult coming to terms with her lost. Everyday has felt different since then. I don't think I am able to be with someone. It has become very difficult to get close to people. I am not sure how to feel about this world, or how to feel about my life. Since I lost the one thing in this world that I loved the most, I have chosen to be alone for the time being. It seems to be what is best at the moment.
Please don't expect much out of me. I having nothing to offer.
I am looking for a better understanding of life.
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Who I like to meet..?
What am I looking for?
"I speak a million words in one, when I say goodbye" - Glynn Desmond
Every time I meet someone, I am always wondering what I can learn from them, how they will be able to better me myself. I believe that every single person in this world, see the world in a different way, and because of that I see each and every person, as a chance to learn more about myself and learn more about life. The lesson that we can learn from others are priceless. We are who we are because of those people that help us grow and show us kindness and hatred. And I have had a lot of people help me down the road, and the least I could do is give back to those who are in need. I hope that when someone meets me, that I have a influence on their life, and in some way help make it a better world for them. I love to be able to share my gifts, and try to be a positive influence to all those around me.
And I know we each have our own demons to fight. But we have to be strong, and understanding. Your fight is different than mine, but that does not mean that it is any less difficult. To each their own. But be there for those who need you.
One of the main ways to make this world a better place, is by helping all those around you.
"Hope is a beautiful thing"
Please forgive the grammer and spelling errors, I have a case of dyslexia.
Music:
Dust, Nine Inch Nails, FrontLine Assembly, Rob Zombie,Spahn Ranch, Spine Shank, Filter, Prick, Fear Factory, Jesus and Mary Chains, Infected Mushroom, Beethoven, Enigma, In Flames, Vast, VnV Nation, White Zombie, Type o Negative, Mozart, RadioHead, Bile, Kidney Thieves, Conjure One, Dee Snider, Kmfdm, Ministry, Faith no More, Sneaker Pimps, Switchblade Symphony, Butthole Suffers, Slayer, Mfdmk, Pig, My life With the Thrill Kill Kult, PigFace, Drowning Pool, Revolting Cocks, Dog Fashion Disco, Dope, Ramons, Klank, Razed in Black, ill nino, 16 volt, Chemlab, Stabbing Westward, Lucifia, Gun N Roses, Nirvana, Alice in Chains, Deftones, Amorphis, Primus, Soundgarden, AP2, Army of Anyone, Air, Tool, Collide, Level, Prong, Skinny Puppy, L7, A perfect Circle, Rammstein, Tim Skold, Tori Amos, Tweaker, Go lives Underwater, Mazzy Star, The Cure, Marilyn Manson, Sneaker Pimps, Dry Kill Logic, Echo & Bunnymen, Drain STH, LLuther, Mindless Faith, Delerium, Beck, Argyle Park, Circle of Dust, Cellwellder, Assemblage 23, Birmingham 6, Danzig, Depeche Mood, DAvid Bowie, Dave Navarro, MAchine of Loving Grace, Meat Puppets, Front 242, Gravity Kills, Rollins Bands, JAck of Jill, Lacuna Coil, Lords of Acid, Peter Murphy, Pitchshift, MSI, Curve, Cyrstal Method, NothingFace, The Kovenant
Movies:
Nirvana
Kurt Cobain (1967-1994) Nirvana
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Nirvana- All Apologies
What else should I be
All apologies
What else could I say
Everyone is gay
What else could I write
I don't have the right
What else should I be
All apologiesIn the sun
In the sun I feel as one
In the sun
In the sun
I'm married
BuriedI wish I was like you
Easily amused
Find my nest of salt
Everything is my fault
I'll take all the blame
Aqua seafoam shame
Sunburn with freezeburn
Choking on the ashes of her enemyIn the sun
In the sun I feel as one
In the sun
In the sun
Married, Maried, Maried!
Buried!
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Layne Staley 1967- 2002 (Alice in Chains)
.. .. ..>
Alice in Chains (Got ME wrong)
Yeh, it goes away
All of this and more of nothing in my life
No color clay
Individuality not safeAs of now I bet you got me wrong
So unsure you run from something strongI can't let go
Threadbare tapestry unwinding slow
Feel a tortured brain
Show your belly like you want me toAs of now I bet you got me wrong
So unsure you run from something strongI haven't felt like this in so long
Wrong, in a sense too far gone from love
That don't last forever
Something's gotta turn out rightYou sugar taste
Sweetness doesn't often touch my face
Stay if you please
You may not be here when I leaveAs of now I bet you got me wrong
So unsure we reach for something strongI haven't felt like this in so long
Wrong, in a sense too far gone from love
Strong, I haven't felt like this in so long
Wrong, in a sense too far gone from love
That don't last forever
Something's gotta turn out right
David Reily 1971 - 2005 God Lives Underwater
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God Lives Underwater (From your Mouth)
Sometimes, life's not fair
I correct myself
I mean all the time
I feel like complaining
But it only bothers you
The things I do
They make your blood run coldBRIDGE
There's a lot of things
That no one likes butCHORUS
I want the answers now
Must be all confused somehow
Did you say what I hear about
I've heard a million things
Gossips being sent to me
I don't wanna believe it
Until I hear it
From your mouthTell me
Why are you friendly to my face
What I mean
Is barely nice
When I'm not around
Hear you like to put me down
Embarassment
Is what I get
Stabbing Westward
.. .. ..>
Stabbing Westward (Shame)
I only see myself reflected in your eyes
So all that I believe I am essentially are lies
And everything I've hoped to be or ever thought I was
Died with your belief in me so who the hell am I?I'm wondering 'round confused
Wondering why I try
The more that you deny my pain
The more it intensifies...
I pray for someone to ache for me the way I ache for you...
If you ignore that I'm alive
I've nothing to cling toI stare in this mirror
So tired of this life
If only you would speak to me or care if I'm alive
Once I swore I would die for you
But I never meant it like this
I never meant like this
no i never meant like thisI don't know if I'm real without you
What is left of me without you?
I don't know whats real without you
How can I exist without you?
Filter
.. .. ..>
Filter (Where do we go)
Ease
Had to start telling me
Won't bring me to my knees
Scraped up and bruised from your fickelness
I plead
Just let me feel some ease from creatures of your greed
Just let me feel some ease for meAnd (?) that I meant to
It makes me wanna go away
Till you think its over
I touch
Yeah, yeah, yeahWhere do we go from here?
You know I'm not the only one
Where do we go from here?
You know I'm not the only son
Where do we go from here?
Stop dreaming 'bout the shiney gun
Where do we go from here?
No I'm not the only oneThese
Broken dreams are screams to me
The difference I can't see
The way you look and talk to me
You're cursing me I freeze
The combination of loss, control, loss of soul
I weaze
Just give some ease to meAnd (?) that I meant to
It makes me wanna go away
Till you think its over
I touch
Yeah, yeah, yeahWhere do we go from here?
You know I'm not the guilty one
Where do we go from here?
No I'm not the only son
Where do we go from here?
Stop dreaming 'bout the shiney gun
Where do we go from here?
No I'm not the only oneI touch
Yeah, yeah, yeahWhere do we go from here?
You know I'm not the only one
Where do we go from here?
You know I'm not the only son
Where do we go from here?
Stop dreaming 'bout the shiney gun
Where do we go from here?
No I'm not the only oneWhere do we go from here?
Where do we go from here?
Where do we go from here?
Where do we go from here?
Where do we go?
Nine Inch Nails
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Nine Inch Nails (Hurt)
i hurt myself today
to see if i still feel
i focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but i remember everything
what have i become?
my sweetest friend
everyone i know
goes away in the end
you could have it all
my empire of dirt
i will let you down
i will make you hurt
i wear my crown of shit
on my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
i cannot repair
beneath the stain of time
the feeling disappears
you are someone else
i am still right here
what have i become?
my sweetest friend
everyone i know
goes away in the end
you could have it all
my empire of dirt
i will let you down
i will make you hurt
if i could start again
a million miles away
i would keep myself
i would find a way
Frontline Assembly
.. .. ..>
FLA (Unknown Dreams)
Walking through my
Dreams at night
Lurid shadows hide the lights
Nothing gives and
Nothing breaks
Winning is for those
Who takeForever
Whenever
Tommorow may never
Come
Forever
Whenever
Isn't life fun
Swimming in a world of creeps
A silhouette of the
Future looms
Distant dreams
Forbidden wounds
creepy sound
In an eerie rooem
Burnt out light with elusive moonsNow I lay my head
To sleep
Pray the Lord for
Me to keep
Distorted vision
Cloud my eyes
Even sleep can't
Hide the lies
Heroes:
It is easy to speak of what has happened to you, but is it as easy to say what’s going to happen because of the prior experiences you have had? Everything that you fear, or anticipate, is from the past experiences in your life, and sometimes when you start to see a cycle in your life happen again, it can cause fear, or pleasure, due to the last experience of it happening. Experiences are all that we have at certain times in our lives. The past is what made us, and everything that has happened to us in our entire life is what helped create who we are today.
I could name many differences in what I perceive in the world around me. There are certain ones that come to mind, and others that I try to avoid. Nothing is the same every time around, but there are reoccurring cycles that are worth watching for. The way we see the world will teach us what we need to do to learn how to communicate better as individuals, or express ourselves better as a intelligent species. It’s very depressing trying to get through life, making the same mistakes, or having the same outcome over and over again. No one can say, each and every time, that it is always going to be the same, but it is up to the individual person to help to change the outcome in a constructive way. It may be as simple as looking at the cause, finding out when and why something is going wrong, or what you are doing wrong, looking at previous outcomes, and trying to find another sequence of events that would best suit the current situation. One could also work from the opposite end of the stick, and, seeing the cause, knowing the general effect of the situation, learn to accept it instead of being bother by it.
