About Me
Platypus live elusive, private lives that rarely intersect with humans. But, you human atheist seeker of the potent truth about the universe, which truth we possess, you've just got to know where to look.THE PLATYPUS KNOWS THE UNIVERSE MASTER:--We, and the divine principle that caused us, may be closer than you think.Platypus are monotremes, an ancient order of mammals whose two remaining representatives (the other is the echidna) are distinctive for being the only two egg-laying mammals in the world. While echidnas are specialised with a beak and long sticky tongue for feeding on ants and termites, platypus are ideally equipped for their aquatic lifestyle.Our small, streamlined bodies are covered with a double layer of fine fur, which keeps our skin dry and helps maintain a steady body temperature as we dive into often near-freezing water.We are excellent swimmers, using only our front legs to propel us forward. As we enter the water, webbing spread between our clawed toes turns our feet into very efficient paddles; when not in use the flap of skin folds away, enabling us to dig long burrows unhindered.
ASTONISHING TAILS OF THE PLATYPUS:--In the water, my fat, flat, fur-covered, beaver-like tail acts as a rudder and fat store. In fact, so much fat is stored there that scientists rate the general health of us by applying the 'squeeze test' and scoring the tail's chunkiness on a scale of one to five.Tails also serve a more practical purpose for us on land: the nest-building female toils up steep riverbanks carrying leaves and nesting materials rolled underneath her tail, and later she uses it to incubate her eggs.Remember friends: -- Scientists rate the general health of platypus by the thickness of its tail. No slurs are allowed amongst us, such as "May your paper thin tail fall off, you scoundrel", etc.PLATYPUS POISONS:--Males feature poisonous spurs on their hind limbs that they use to duel with competing males. During the breeding season, venom production is at its highest. While it is rare for male platypus to die from their battle wounds, the toxins have been known to kill dogs and can be extremely painful if injected into humans.WE ARE ELECTRONIC & WE MAKE ELECTRONIC MUSIC:--But the most remarkable feature is the rubbery duck-like bill.When the platypus dives into the murky darkness, we close our eyes and ears and find our way around with the help of electro-sensors contained in pores studded all over its bill. Some are sensitive to touch, while others are sensitive to the minute electrical charges emitted by the muscular contractions of their prey.As we swim, we waggle our head from side to side, flushing out fresh water invertebrates like shrimp, worms, yabbies, small mussels and aquatic insects.The hungry platypus stashes its catch in its cheek pouches until it has a full load, then returns to the surface to grind the mouthful up using special rough pads on the tongue and palate (known as grinding plates).Generally a platypus consumes about 20 percent of its bodyweight in food each day, however lactating females need to consume between 90 and 100 percent of their bodyweight each day.The band members of METAPHYSICAL PLATYPUS live in Peoria, IL in secret owl guarded chambers, but are originally from the land of Tasmania. Please respect the fact that it's not easy for us to play our synthesizers, oscilloscopes, ring modulators, and atomic keyboards. We don't have fingers in the way of human fingers, so we have to improvize our own work-arounds to squeeze any sounds of our equipment. Sometimes we must pound on the instruments and bat them around with our beaks or bills or whatever you call them. They don't perform well underwater; we found that out pretty quickly.
