THE NEW ORDER

The foundation of The New Order already starts at the end of WW II when guitarist Luc (Nosy Alex) had to hide for the Germans because of certain exterior features that can lead to mistaken identity. His hideout was so well hidden that he was never alarmed that the war was over and he stayed hidden. In that period of time he mastered the guitar and taught himself how to play scorching riffs and blistering leads. Until last year. When he emerged from his secret location to enter the world of metal.
He teamed up with former adult entertainer and male stripper Dennis (Giant Petersen) who in his spare time learned to play some funky tunes on the guitar as well. It was the perfect base for Luc..s soloing capabilities. They still needed to complete their band so they went on to search for a drummer.
In the newspaper they read a story about a guy who was sentenced to jail for harassing little girls. This dude also known as ..The Humper.. was a dedicated drummer and he had a sick enough mind to join forces with the other two sick fucks. And so Erik became horny Louie.
First we had to decide what kind of music we wanted to play. We started out with own compositions, but because we were too lazy to write our own music we decided tot start a cover band. We didn’t want to sound like Stormrider, that’s why our choice went out ..ing a tribute band. So Testament it became!! Now the quest for a singer began!
We spotted Roel, or as he likes to be called by his alias ..Elbow.., while hunting in the deep midst of Alabama. Elbow, who was a notorious bison hunter, felt that he had to give something back to the Indians for wiping out their primary food source back in the Wild West. So he decided to make the step to be our own Chuck Billy. He now likes to be referred to as ..Mini Chuck...
To complement the band we still needed a bass player. We found Jules (wacky Greg) who is a practicing Reiki Master. He mostly uses his powers to help women to increase their chest size. What stunned us was not the metalness of Jules but the fact that he plays his instrument by using his telekinetic powers.
And now this extraordinary band is ready to hit the stage and wreak havoc across the land (whenever Testament is not in the neighbourhood to kick their ass!!!)
UGGHHH!!!
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