Neil - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I have one magnificent testicle. My only belief in life is " A position a day keeps the love doctor away". I drink a lot of Highife and like my women damaged. Even though I take Prozak I have a pretty good sex drive. Once or twice a month I get a massive woody. I have a severe lisp and love large, large women. The more to love is what I say. I'm missing a few teeth but have dentures so you totally can't tell. I have a degree in refrigeration repair. I got it ... It took me a few years because I had to use a computer at the library but damn, if you want a cold fridge...i'm your man. I also think corned beef is the most erotic of all the salted, cured meats. (also, this isn't really Neil writing this, it is a very, very drunk Elle. I infiltrated his computer and next...his prostate!)

My Interests

I totally dig the Kool-Aid man and Hulk Hogan

I'd like to meet:

Women who own houses with basements. I never want to live in a trailer again. Also, no kids. I have plenty of my own and their moms are scattered all over the U.S. What a pain. The Greyhound from Chicago to Kentucky is such a bore. I love big titties and a full set of teeth. I hate condoms and insist that you PROMISE you have no diseases if we hook up.

Also, I have a Warrant cover band. We're looking for a good drummer. Contact me if you think you can ROCK!!!!

Music:

Super Furry Animals

Black Sheep

Movies:

Television:

One Tree Hill

Books:

"Cheer UP about your Impotence" by Hugh Joriface

Heroes:

Christopher Reeve. I think Susan Powter is pretty tough too.

My Blog

i've gone and split my pants.

repeatedly waking up to my super-favorite person, Blake, bugging me until 2 this afternoon was, admittedly, annoying. at the time anyway. once i realized that she had gone to sleep 6 hours...
Posted by Neil on Fri, 24 Nov 2006 11:23:00 PST

if i could just laugh, i'd laugh with you.

i recently saw that the submarines (ie. jack drag (aka. john dragonetti) and blake hazzard (ie. blake hazard) are coming to my new hometown, chi-city. since then, i have listened to unisex ...
Posted by Neil on Fri, 08 Sep 2006 01:52:00 PST

cuz i'm real smart

ok, so check out his madness. because we are lazy and have a strong handle on how to do things, denise and i booked our flights for keely's wedding online at our respective homes. we decid...
Posted by Neil on Wed, 24 May 2006 11:13:00 PST

the band, elwood. the band.

rich and i are forming a band. it could be a train wreck; it could be about the best thing ever. it'll most likely be both.
Posted by Neil on Mon, 03 Oct 2005 02:05:00 PST

When the Levee Breaks, Someone Has Got to Pay

When the Levee Breaks, Someone Has Got to Pay "Where it's not right, we're going to make it right," W said on 9/2. Near-fury is what I felt upon reading this quote, as I am sure many feel who are so ...
Posted by Neil on Fri, 02 Sep 2005 12:29:00 PST