Malissa profile picture

Malissa

Nothing good comes in a head-shaped box...

About Me


Full of shit, introverted extrovert with rapier wit. I am a socialistic egotist, working diligently toward world domination, but getting nowhere fast. Needless to say, I'm not very devoted to my cause, or anything else for that matter.
Admittedly, I am a rather shallow, self-absorbed, judgmental person that has an intense dislike for people that talk too much about nothing (unless I find it entertaining) and/or talk too little. However, I still like to think of myself as user-friendly. I am adored by a handful, loathed by many, and unknown by even more than many!
I like to sit at outdoor bars, drink rum drinks, and smoke. I don't care if you don't like smokers nor do I care about how my second-hand smoke affects your lungs. PLEASE keep your crybaby ass away from me. FYI - I have no interest in EVER visiting California. They make less than acceptable wine and you can't smoke there.
I don't take baths - I take showers because I just can't seem to enjoy sitting in my own filth. I like to hang around art museums and look as though I am pondering the meaning of the pieces when in actuality, I am just waxing nostalgic for an acid trip in which I was able to climb into the paintings.
I am completely and UTTERLY irritated by NASCAR, country music, fast food, open-mouth chewers, rednecks, timid and/or shy folk, people that won't try anything new, feet-dragging walkers, laziness, hippies, habitual dick-grabbers, men with *bling, drivers lacking in highway etiquette, homophobes, religious fanatics lacking in any true concept of their own faith, ignorance, women who pay too much attention to babies, breeders, parents who think that their offspring are the whole of society's responsibility.
I have a curiosity for the underbelly of society as well as lots of other shit. Examples of "other shit" would be: psychology, religion, mythology, theology, literature, film, gourmet cooking, cookbooks (with lots of pictures), wine and music.

My Interests

I like mountain biking, duct tape, spot-welding, extreme rickshaw racing, making chain mail armor, midnight stalkings, medieval weaponry, knife-wielding, freakshows, peppermint soap and flossing.

I'm a veritable art junkie with a penchant for Pre-Raphaelite, Nudes, Dada, Abstract, Surrealism, Fantasy, Post-Apocalyptic Art, Gerald Brom, B&W Photography, Bondage Art, Impressionism, Pulp Art & Cyberart.

Miscellaneous: Literature, Socialism, Theatre, Concerts - only if A) I have good seats, or B) The venue is G.A. with an elevated seating level. I stand for no band. Socializing, Checking out local bands and artists, wandering around outdoor festivals and/or events, Big Ships and Boats, Fish, Aquariums, Kicking You in Your Ass, Prowling Book Stores, Entertaining at home, Playing Uber-Competitive Dominoes, Food, Gourmet Cooking, Saying "Fuck" and "Shit", Smoking, Drinking, Going to the Vineyard, Swimming, Camping, Scary Things, Writing, Coloring Outside the Lines, Painting and Drawing, Shopping and Random Outdoor Shit. The usual.



I'd like to meet:

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Music:

New Wave, Synthpop, Funk, Electro, Industrial, Classical, Techno, Disco, Latin, Salsa, Bossa Nova, Classic Jazz, French Jazz, Rockabilly, Surf, Disco - Just about any milieu other than country (because it sucks!). New Order, The The, The Cure, Depeche Mode, VNV Nation, Covenant, Psychedelic Furs, VAST, DeVision, Clear Vision, Culture Kultur, Haujobb, Peter Murphy, Front 242, Seabound, Joy Division, Leaetherstrip, Gary Numan, Cause & Effect, Neurocative, Assemblage 23, T.O.Y., Better Than Ezra, Live, Toad the Wet Sprocket, And One, Endparty, Adriano Celentano, Cafe Tacuba, Informatik, Material Issue, Apoptygma Berzerk, Queen, The Beatles, Colony 5, Seven Red Seven, Beborn Beton, Moulin Noir, Covenant, Neil Diamond, Flesh for Lulu, Die Warzau, Placebo, Live, Killers, Prince, Franz Ferdinand, Pulp, Blur, Electronic, Deine Lakaien, Iris, James, Ikon, Kompressor, Smiths, Red Elvises, Reverend Horton Heat, Revolting Cocks, Mesh, Angels & Agony, Audioslave, Bob Dylan, Social Distortion, Monaco, Radiohead, Ben Folds Five, Nick Cave, Johnny Cash, Catherine Wheel, Sponge, Brainbug, Rob Dickinson, Oasis, Paul Oakenfold, Dramarama, Morrissey, Lush, Garbage, Sly and the Family Stone, Vaughn Mason & Crew, Van Hunt, Village People, Better than Ezra, The Clash, Jonathan Richman, Siouxsie & The Banshees, Social Distortion, Mike Ness, Republica, Muse, U2, The Cult, Queensryche, David Bisbal, Gipsy Kings, Annie Lennox, Gnarls Barkley, Van Hunt, Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles, Marvin Gay, John Coltrane, Sergio Mendes, Santana, Stan Getz, Joaquin Claussell, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Tony Bennett, Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holiday, Louis Armstrong, Nina Simone, Joao Gilberto, Etc.

Movies:



Fight Club, American Beauty, Scarface, The Godfather, Pulp Fiction, Fargo, Lord of the Rings Trilogy, The Count of Monte Cristo, Interview with the Vampire, Vanilla Sky, Legend, Labrynth, Pirates of the Caribbean, Sleepy Hollow, Seven, Monty Python, Ninth Gate, The Matrix (the first one, only,) Requiem for a Dream, Lolita (with Jeremy Irons,) Pi, Edward Scissorhands, James and the Giant Peach, Princess Bride, Blade, Welcome to the Dollhouse, Best in Show, Waiting for Guffman, Old School, Swingers, Starsky and Hutch, Regarding Henry, Blade Runner, Underworld, The Exorcist, Harry Potter, Willow, Magnolia, The Hours, Clash of the Titans, Alice In Wonderland

Television:

"Imagine stalking elk past department store windows and stinking racks of beautiful rotting dresses and tuxedos on hangers; you'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life, and you'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. Jack and the beanstalk, you'll climb up through the dripping forest canopy and the air will be so clean you'll see tiny figures pounding corn and laying strips of venison to dry in the empty car pool lane of an abandoned superhighway stretching eight-lanes-wide and August-hot for a thousand miles." (Palahniuk)



Books:

"Lullaby," "Diary," "Choke," & "Fight Club" by Chuck Palahniuk. "Running with Scissors," & "Dry" by Augusten Burroughs. "Thief of Always," "Weaveworld," & "Coldheart Canyon," by Clive Barker. "LOTR" trilogy, "Fionavar Tapestry Series," by Guy Gavriel Kay, psycho-killer stuff, true crime and anything in regard to psychology. I read whatever I want, when I want and don't care what you think about it. So there!

Heroes:





My Blog

Michael Vick and Other Thoughts

So, I heard this shit about Michael Vick a while ago and it has been bothering me since.  I just haven't had time to write about it.  Upon hearing about his little airport escapade, my gut i...
Posted by Malissa on Fri, 26 Jan 2007 08:32:00 PST

Cycling Epiphany

Yesterday, on my way back from our normal weekday cycle stint, I had the strangest experience.  It was almost like an epiphany.  I was passing the campgrounds, it was completely dark.  ...
Posted by Malissa on Thu, 11 Jan 2007 06:59:00 PST

I hate birthdays...

It just hit me yesterday morning that I am going ot be 31, I mean 21 in a month.  I feel like I should start acting like a grown up, but not sure how.  I always thought that 30's sounde...
Posted by Malissa on Thu, 04 Jan 2007 05:14:00 PST

Off I go!

Well, it isn't Rome, but we decided to wait on going out of the country for various reasons.  Anyway, today I leave for our cabin in the Appalachians, which I am so jazzed about.  I hope tha...
Posted by Malissa on Fri, 22 Dec 2006 07:02:00 PST

My Holiday Wish List...

For anyone that wishes to buy me a gift, this is option 1 (green anodized please): It can be purchased right here.... http://www.ellsworthbikes.com/bikes/epiphany/index.cfm For those that do not love...
Posted by Malissa on Wed, 13 Dec 2006 06:43:00 PST

Careless Drivers Cause Me Pain

I have this nasty deep wound on my right knee because some jerk in a car cut me off while I was road-riding and forced me to crash, hitting the pavement on my knee. Anyway, I just shifted at my desk a...
Posted by Malissa on Tue, 21 Nov 2006 12:50:00 PST

Thursdays can be fun!

We found THE BEST gay karaoke joint in town last Thursday.  I met a 70's porn star AND I got my picture taken with him!  We had a gaggle of gay boys in their underwear hanging around us the ...
Posted by Malissa on Tue, 14 Nov 2006 07:47:00 PST

Weird Dream as a Result of Various Things...

I had an odd dream last night that I was in an aerobics class with a bunch of half-naked people.  The instructor was playing nothing but Better than Ezra songs.  It just so happens that I lo...
Posted by Malissa on Tue, 07 Nov 2006 10:38:00 PST

Distressing Discovery...

I think I am going prematurely gray.    I first started noticing one or two gray hairs about 6-7 months ago.  I would pluck them out and try to forget about them.  Well, lately, th...
Posted by Malissa on Mon, 06 Nov 2006 07:58:00 PST

UTTER DISAPPOINTMENT!

I posted a nicer version of this on the bulletin board.  So, if you don't wish to read a whiney rant, I suggest you read the BB version instead. With that said, and also the statement that I...
Posted by Malissa on Mon, 23 Oct 2006 09:07:00 PST