Matt Kelley profile picture

Matt Kelley

Let's watch the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and drink that beer

About Me



My Interests


I'll be interested in something until you start to like it. Once that happens, I'll probably start to think it's lame.

I'd like to meet:

Who I'd like to meet:
..Frankenstein, any muppet.
..
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Music:


Magnetic Leopards. Todd and the Golden Suit. The Twiggs. The Martin Golman Experience. Dunebuggy. Grant Rodgers. The Meeps. Trojan War. The Knives. Gorillafish. Dootlebug. Croc Roc. The Mark Brush Trio. 11 Mad Indians. Dangerteem. Weed. Alpha Command. Chocolate Rocket. Land Ho!. Dracula's Birthday. Science. The Glits. English Roundhouse. Rodney Blith. Agnes. Anderson's Lot. The Gumps. Relics of Conformity. Commonwealth. Fire and Glass. Pheasant. The Pinocchios. Rhonda Faith. The Globs. Shamel. Myth. Bear Patrol.

Movies:


Guns of Navaronne, Gun Shy, Tales of the Gun, Gun Play, My Gun's First Christmas, G.U.N.N., Look Who's Gunning, The Guns of Madison County, Guns In Da Hood, Gun With the Wind

Television:


Anything with a consistent story and dynamic characters. I can't stand that sitcom bullshit where after the problem is solved everything is exactly the same as it was in the begining. That's right, I'm talking to you Everybody Loves Raymond.

Books:


Books are for fatsos

Heroes:


None.

My Blog

Prison Gang

I think if I ever had to join a prison gang, I would join the black gang.  Now I know what you're thinking; Matt Kelley, why would anybody ever put YOU in prison?  Well, you never...
Posted by Matt Kelley on Fri, 16 May 2008 06:33:00 PST

Allergies

I have a question.  Who the fuck invented allergies?  Huh?  Who did it?  Well whoever did it is a real arsehole.    I feel like I want to scratch my eyes out of my ...
Posted by Matt Kelley on Wed, 07 May 2008 06:15:00 PST

2008

Dude, I am pumped.  It's 2008 and everything is great.  I'll have to remember to write that last sentence down in the poetry notebook.  That's a keeper. 2008 is sure to bring glorious a...
Posted by Matt Kelley on Wed, 02 Jan 2008 06:19:00 PST

Open To Suggestions

I have no idea what to write about this morning.  No idea.  A lot of times I just start writing and eventually I find something to write about but today it's a little tougher for some r...
Posted by Matt Kelley on Fri, 28 Dec 2007 06:15:00 PST

Kitten Fight!!

I think I'm going to start an underground kitten fighting league.  I'm not sure if kitten fighting is actually illegal.  It probably is but whatever.  I think I can make hella scrill.&n...
Posted by Matt Kelley on Thu, 13 Dec 2007 06:19:00 PST

Ethan Hawke

My roommate, Joe, is obcessed with Ethan Hawke.  I don't know how it started, but now it seems to be all he ever talks about.  Ethan Hawke this, Ethan Hawke that.  Dude is in love with ...
Posted by Matt Kelley on Tue, 11 Dec 2007 06:20:00 PST

Back In The Saddle

Greetings blog readers!!!  Hey, it's been a while since I've posted a new blog but I think my dormant phase is over and I should be posting regularly again.  (I am now picturing two people h...
Posted by Matt Kelley on Mon, 10 Dec 2007 06:17:00 PST

Found: Bag of Cat Turds

I found a bag cat turds this weekend.  I don't know whose they are but if you can describe the bag and said turds inside I will hand the bag over to you.  Most of the turds appear to be in p...
Posted by Matt Kelley on Mon, 19 Nov 2007 06:16:00 PST

FutureCop 2010

So, if you haven't seen my dumb little movie yet, here it is.  FutureCop 2010.  It's about a time traveling detective. Enjoy!  ...
Posted by Matt Kelley on Tue, 30 Oct 2007 04:46:00 PST

Remembering Zsa Zsa Gabor

I fuckin miss Zsa Zsa Gabor.  I always found her very entertaining.  I guess she's still alive but is like all bed ridden and shit.  Poor Zsa Zsa.  Hey, remember that time when sh...
Posted by Matt Kelley on Wed, 03 Oct 2007 06:08:00 PST