Spider Jerusalem conquers politics profile picture

Spider Jerusalem conquers politics

You will all choke on my exploded brain-meat.

About Me

I hate it here. I hate the way it smells (except when you get into a fully residential quarter where people are predominantly first-gen American: the way people express their culture in their cooking is one of the few good reasons for being alive).

I hate the way it looks (except for the weird beauty that hits you in the eye every other second). I hate the way it thinks (except when it agrees with me). I hate the things it does to itself (except when it lets me do them).

I hate the way it loves me, and I hate the way it makes me feel.

I hate it here...but God help me, I can't imagine living anywhere else.

ID/Creationism:Science :: Holocaust Denial:History

Think of me as Jesus, coming down from the mountain to tell you what's what.

My Interests

Children, animals, music, dance, Shakespeare, movies, satire, gowns, bracers, colors, dry humor, comics, theater, clubbing, gin and tonics, tequila, civil rights, politics, serendipity.

I'd like to meet:

I want to travel back in time and lop the goddamn heads off all your innocent mommies and daddies.

Come on. Tell me why you deserve to live. I mean, I know I've been away, and things have changed, all that. But there's absolutely no excuse for the behavior you've all been displaying since I came back

I am talking specifically about the extensive shrines set up outside my apartment building. I am talking about the two people who attempted to have sex in my shadow to guarantee conception. I am talking about the Conclave who scrabbled through the bag of garbage I couldn't get my Maker to use. I am talking about the people who stole my bathwater and drank it.

This is America. I want money for these things. I mean, I have some especially Holy underpants here, shattered and ruined by unusual stresses, and I can't let them go to a good cause for anything less than a hundred...

We live in a monoculture.

What does that mean? Well, go out to your street corner. You'll probably see a Long Pig stand, SPKF on a screen somewhere, an Angry Boy Dylan's Gun Store. You'll go into a record store and see new recordings by the usual suspects, maybe a special Space Culture display rack.

Go out onto a streetcorner in London and you'll see the same thing. Same in Prague. Same in Sao Paulo. Same in Osaka, and Grozny, and Tehran, and Jo'burg, and Hobart.

That's what a monoculture is. It's everywhere, and it's all the same. And it takes up alien cultures and digests them and shits them out in a homogeneous building-block shape that fits seamlessly into the vast blank wall of the monoculture.

This is the future. This is what we built. This is what we wanted. It must have been. Because we all had a fucking choice, didn't we? It is only our money that allows commercial culture to flower. If we didn't want to live like this, we could have changed it any time, by not fucking paying for it.

So let's celebrate by all going out and buying the same burger.

Rest of the pics here .

Music:

Crass, Sublime, QUEEN!!!, Weezer, Ramones, Doors, Billie Holiday, Louis Armstrong, Ella Fitzgerald, Etta James, Doo Wah Riders, Josie and the Pussycats, Aimee Mann, Arrogant Worms, Weird Al, Abba, AC/DC, Barenaked Ladies, Beastie Boys, Garbage, Stephen Lynch, Shivaree, Shonen Knife, Morcheeba, Bob Marley, George Clinton, Everclear, Ween, Dolly Parton, show tunes, oldies, motown, r&b, reggae, punk, pop-punk, disco, funk, indie everything, comedy. I'm starting to get into the club musics again: industrial, house, trance, etc. Its been a while though.

Movies:

Kill Bill v.1&2, Rocky Horror, The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, 28 Days Later, Blood in the Face, Lady Snowblood, The Apple, Fight Club, Wayne's World, the Ref, Battle Royale, the Princess Bride, This is Spinal Tap, Monty Python ANYTHING, Spiderman 1&2, X-Men 2, Underworld, Old School, Orgazmo, South Park: BLU, Cannibal! The Musical....far too many to list here...

Television:

Buffy, Angel, Simpsons, South Park, Family Guy, Daily Show, Crossballs....I don't watch as much telly as I used to. I love good cartoons though: Gargoyles, Freakazoid, Animaniacs, Road Rovers, Fairly Oddparents.

Books:

Y'know what? Im just gonna list authors:

Mark Twain, Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman, Warren Ellis, Alan Moore, Steve Dillon, Garth Ennis, Kurt Vonnegut, Orson Scott Card

Also a big fan of fairytales and folklore, as well as texts on historical persecution, in particular the Early Modern Period witch-hunts and Totalitarianism.

Heroes:

Vimes. Granny Weatherwax. L7. Joss Whedon. Matt Stone and Trey Parker. Spider Jerusalem.

My Blog

does this make me a bad person?

Watching Biggest Loser makes me want to punch the blonde hostess. Repeatedly. Damn. What, they can afford harnesses for the contestants, but not a ball-gag for that smug bitch?Also, I have someone "fr...
Posted by Spider Jerusalem conquers politics on Wed, 15 Oct 2008 03:41:00 PST

goodbye to you

I don't know why I have that song stuck in my head -- possibly because the Terminator episode for last week is "Goodbye to All That".It's been my birthday for five (5) hours and twenty-one minutes now...
Posted by Spider Jerusalem conquers politics on Tue, 14 Oct 2008 05:59:00 PST

pow!

So monkeybutt and I took the puppy to the dog park today (his second day in a row!), and as I was pulling into a parking space, I saw a little Toyota with TWO "Yes on 8" stickers. TWO.I shrieked "Are ...
Posted by Spider Jerusalem conquers politics on Sun, 05 Oct 2008 05:10:00 PST

stewart ftw

"Tough break on your dad raping you. So....picked out a name?"
Posted by Spider Jerusalem conquers politics on Thu, 02 Oct 2008 01:28:00 PST

hehehehehe

"You can't just call dibs.""Can too! Dibs!"
Posted by Spider Jerusalem conquers politics on Tue, 30 Sep 2008 01:21:00 PST

thanksgiving rant

I just got the first Thanksgiving-planning email of the year. I started looking over the secret document from last year and got SO fucking pissed.Rant.Last year, my appendix had burst, but I didn't kn...
Posted by Spider Jerusalem conquers politics on Tue, 30 Sep 2008 11:40:00 PST

shanah tovah

Another day another new year. Apple crisp seems appropriate.Hiro is sooooo cute. Peter is soooo cute when he's not doing...that...thing. With his mouth. You know the thing? I hope to god Parkman's sto...
Posted by Spider Jerusalem conquers politics on Tue, 30 Sep 2008 10:51:00 PST

survey thingy

1. Who was your last text from? Sprint. Fuckers.2.Where was your defau lt pictu re taken ? In my room in my boarding house in college. The white-out is from the flash bouncing off my computer screen....
Posted by Spider Jerusalem conquers politics on Mon, 29 Sep 2008 12:02:00 PST

morning

Waking up at 1:30 in the morning stinks. Panic attack brought on by Omar's thoughtfully shared bacteria-fest.Puppy is sweet, but I think he may be a little sick too. I don't know what we're gonna do w...
Posted by Spider Jerusalem conquers politics on Thu, 25 Sep 2008 04:10:00 PST

huh

Note to self: Don't watch sci-fi and then immediately read through yesterday's Senate procedurals. Does not bode well.The big difference between, oh, Shirley Manson in Terminator and Secretary Paulson...
Posted by Spider Jerusalem conquers politics on Tue, 23 Sep 2008 01:25:00 PST