oh look the fucking sun’s out. thought you disappeared with my boner months ago. |
in case you thought i'd done fucking froze to death, no, but damn fuckin close. at one point - ONE POINT - i had a bitch by my side but she didn't wanna fuck at all or nothin' because she said she was...
Posted by Flan on Sun, 27 Apr 2008 12:35:00 PST |
i guess none of you fucking whores noticed it was my birthday. |
i always kinda fuckin thought being born on valentimes day would get me laid at some point down the line. and yet. to this motherfuckin day the only twat i ever touched on february fourteenth was on m...
Posted by Flan on Thu, 14 Feb 2008 12:59:00 PST |
the only thing colder than my hands is the bitches they cant touch |
so first bitch in a while that doesn't have a name like fucking madge or parsley comes down under the bridge and she says "they call me lassie." naturally i ask her if she wants a nice bone and she te...
Posted by Flan on Sun, 27 Jan 2008 11:57:00 PST |
one day i’ll just take a bitch and stick with her |
but until then, fuck. i'm gettin really fuckin sick of playin the field, especially with these dirty old balls. i wonder what its gonna take to find the bitch i stick with. for one thing, she's gonna ...
Posted by Flan on Sun, 13 Jan 2008 12:52:00 PST |
that bitch ate the one piece of toast ill fucking get all year |
so whenever tank comes down under the fucking bridge, which is exactly one time per year, he brings me my toast. one fucking piece. and guess who fucking ate it? fucking pringles, thats who. god i hat...
Posted by Flan on Mon, 07 Jan 2008 12:11:00 PST |
if only she weren’t such a bitch |
so the one bitch i thought was the one bitch? fuck no, that's all. just fuck no. first of all, suspicion confirmed: she is totally fat. second of all, i'm pretty sure she had to fuck, or at the very l...
Posted by Flan on Wed, 02 Jan 2008 12:30:00 PST |
just what i need: another bitch |
this one might be the one, though. i can't tell if she's fat or just wearing a lot of shirts, but her face is really fuckin' pretty i think. i guess she's like from canada or some shit, but she had th...
Posted by Flan on Thu, 27 Dec 2007 08:29:00 PST |
what a fucking bitch |
so she asks me to come over to her burn can, i figure i'm getting lucky. fuck no she wants a potato. i say bitch i've got like four and they have to last me til summer okay and she's all flan you're a...
Posted by Flan on Mon, 24 Dec 2007 11:31:00 PST |
the bitch parade keeps marchin |
alright so bitches grown on trees, but this one was special. she was like some fuckin' awesome fruit tree, like a kiwi or some shit. she was right about the hottest thing to crawl under the bridge sin...
Posted by Flan on Fri, 21 Dec 2007 04:10:00 PST |
so this other bitch |
she's like hey baby got any more that hot coffee and i'm like bitch this shit ain't hot alright its tepid. tepid. she's like well whatever baby can i get some or what and i says naw. so she's all piss...
Posted by Flan on Mon, 17 Dec 2007 07:53:00 PST |
