The Girl profile picture

The Girl

Viking Baldnobber Ninja Princess

About Me


LET'S CLEAR THIS UP, SHALL WE???
I am not going to send you pictures. No, really. I'm TRULY not going to send you pictures. Yes YOU. And you. "And ye an ye and yeee" (hum Sound of Music song in head now)
I am not going to go out to lunch or coffee with you unless you are already a close friend, because there are approxiately 50 known serial killers currently roaming the nation. I have NO Earthly idea if you are one of them, now do I ? As for how did my other friends get here? They are all FORMER serial killers, which is why they are my friends, so I know where they are and what they are doing, DUH.
I do not IM
Please don't think you're going to impress me with vulgar pix or comments, because you're not. I've worked in the prison system--seen it all. BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I am a mental health professional. A therapist. A quack...all of that.

If you are wearing a scary mask on your face it's a good way to get your friend request denied...lol... WTF???
If you have no profile pic, it is harder to get to know me
I have NO idea what you mean when you say I am "analyzing" you because I have had this kind of personality all my life. That is why I was drawn to this profession. If I challenge you, it is a sign I respect your intellect, silly, slug back. Yes, the art on this page was created by ME :)
Don't even think of asking for my phone number.
OH YEAH...and stop pretending to be girls...lmao...I'm onto that one....

MOVING RIGHT ALONG HERE....CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING:
1. I ONCE BACKED THROUGH MY OWN GARAGE DOOR LISTENING TO OZZY'S "CRAZY TRAIN" AT FULL BLAST IN A LEXUS LS400. There. I admitted it. I have at least one attorney willing to sue Ozzy on the chance he was so drunk he won't remember it wasn't him that did it.
2. Nextly (is that a word? I know "that" is, but is "nextly" a word????) DON'T LET ME DRIVE, OKAY???? I have no depth perception apparently. That seems to be an important driving skill.
3. I hate electronic devices. I'm married and have three kids and an awesome company with some of the best employees ever. I have a Viking spirit, and a sharp wit at times.
4. Oh! And if you analyze EVERY single thing in a person, and then call them analytical, you are probably going to end up not liking me so well. So SCRAM. 5. Oh and if I ramble, there's a "me thingy" in there, but also it could be I re-write this section and edit this page with great frequency. Some paragraphs may not even go together at this point. Yet, I cannot bring myself to have to read all of this nonsense again to check.
6. I'm "complex". If you're simple? Guess what? The old adage about "opposites attract? Doesn't hold up in research, sorry, so scram.
7. Do I attract freaks? Not anymore, for some reason. It seems I have developed a repelent. (no free recipes, this took a lot of effort, folks) But listen, I'm a total FLIPPIN SMART ASS anyway. You wouldn't like me.
SHEW!!!!!
GIT!!!!
.. ..

My Interests


IF YA CAN'T BEAT 'EM...YOU OBVIOUSLY NEED A BIGGER STICK. BATTER UP!!! WANNA PICK A FIGHT OVER MY PROFILE PICS??? BRING IT, SISTA....YA HAG...LOL... :p NEENER, NEENER (THANKS, KELLY) WARNING I BITE...and kickbox...and am related to Vikings on one side, hillbillies on the other...RUN... I also have the "IT WASN'T ME" shirt, of course. So much for truth in advertising.
JOIN ME, SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR, AND WILL FERRELL IN "HOLD YOUR OWN BOOBS MAGAZINE!!!"

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I'd like to meet:

MEANIES--jk. NO. Real friends. People who don't think they need to judge others to consume their lives, Elvis and Daffy Duck. I would not mind a "meeting of the minds". Maybe, I could meet my own there. . Well I am only selectively responding to e-mails. LET ME EXPLAIN. I am not going to hang out and keep going through some stupid pointless banter with an idiot -- I can always talk to myself if I want pointless banter with an idiot?????
As for e-mail, if you can't reach me and you actually read this far, you ate a brain tumor. I think I left a message about how to reach me. Oh hell, maybe I ate the brain tumor. In either case, we certainly shouldn't be talking, should we? We are both, quite possibly brain damaged.
YES IT IS POSSIBLE FOR SOMEONE WHO LOOKS LIKE ME TO BE LIKE THIS. ONE OF THE REASONS I AM HERE IS TO SHATTER THIS STEREOTYPE. GET IT, YET??? I AM ASTONISHED AT SOME OF YOU THAT HAVEN'T GOTTEN IT YET!
I would mostly like to meet people who are accepting of others and not so cynical they can no longer find happiness cause they lit it on fire and torched the happy patch? Yep.
ONCE AND FOR ALL, I would LOVE to meet the IDIOTS who decided we needed MORE buttons on all our electronic devices, particularly our CELL PHONES. Yes, BUTTONS; buttons, with MENUS within each button that must now be accessed via --GUESS WHAT????---ANOTHER FLIPPIN BUTTON!!!--Usually a red or green arrow, upside DOWN thank you, (how sweet of them). So, when you want to simply place a call, or hang up, or HEY HERE'S a new one for ya--"answer call? Yes or no"--no I'm not kidding that is ON MY FLIPPIN PHONE, what do they THINK I want to do with the call? EAT IT?????????????--Sorry, I digress..... ya git buttons.
No I'm not done yet. WHEREBY, you may now, having selected your upside down red or green arrow? YOU GUESSED IT--pick a menu and ANOTHER FLIPPIN BUTTON (usually, the other colored arrow than the one you thought it was supposed to be--that's assuming you are still alive in traffic at this point) AND now you may "scroll" through a MENU (NO YOU ARE NOT IN A RESTAURANT, NOR IS THIS SCROLL ANCIENT HEBREW, BUT IT MIGHT AS WELL BE????? CAUSE IF YOU ARE ME??? YEW AIN'T GONNA GIT IT, OK???) OF COURSE, I CAN GO ON??? Shhh. Just listen. Let us REVIEW shall we, not my poor spelling, but INSTEAD, the very PURPOSE of said BUTTON, shall we??? Was it not to make things um, EASIER????? FASTER???? SIMPLER??? AS IN LESS COMPLICATED?????????? Didn't some dude somewhere say, "hey man wouldn't it be easier if we could just push a button to do that?"...YES, I thought so.
IS THERE ANYBODY OUT THERE????"---Pink Floyd
And NOW, after all this progress and ALEXANDER GRAHAM CRACKER FLIPPIN BELL and the telegraph, then the telephone, then the cell phone--WHAT DOES GIRL FROM ARKANSAS WHO SMILES AT EVERYONE (or tries to) GET ON HER CELL PHONE WHEN ALL SHE WANTS TO DO IS TURN OFF THE DANG RINGER? : one button, one switch, that is ALLLL I ask for people, but NOOOOOOOOO, I get 14 flippin menus, a bunch of tiny, hard to punch flat little useless, manipulative, lying, treacherous buttons!!!! THAT is who I would like to meet. Thanks for listening. Whew. I am going to get a whole PITCHER of WATER NOW.

The loyal and forgiving.

My Friend Space

He's The Man

Brian--Yeah, what HE said...

Throw some horns at Kelly

Will it be Seaworld or a stip club? LOL

She pulled her front teeth out biting her bro's mesh shirt

Alicia can plot, okay?

Badass Bass player bud

Lookie, an environmentalist with a REAL mohawk

Nicole...one word: POISE

Show off...lol

This week he's a 14 year old girl?

I fell on my butt in his back yard

Somebody buy this inkblot some Oakleys

It may be "Bow" in Australia, but it's STILL "Bo" in the USA

Bizzy...hey LOOK a real BLACK MAN on a southern gal's list!BWHAHAHA

George "wrong turn" Clyde

Compulsive Profile Change Disorder

You are Dan. If you forget again, don't go looking in the woods. Animals scattered the bones long ago.

Renee: Distict Attorney for the "fashion police"

My response to yer dumb picture comment

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Music:

Marilyn Manson Videos | Music Videos | Vacation Resorts
Ozzy, Rob Zombie, Tool...you know, the basics...

FROM ORLANDO...KABANG...THE YANKEE INVASION: Okay, it's like this: Right now, the link isn't working. That may be a good thing, since I am suspicious that "Kabang" may really be the name of a meth lab.
AND IN LITTLE ROCK...THE TRIBE ROCKS!!! GO WISHTRIBE... LOL...K KELLY, WHERE THE HELL IS YER BAND BANNER? ALL I FOUND WAS A THONG?

Movies:

WELL IT HAPPENED. MYSPACE ATE HALF OF MY PROFILE. YOU KNOW IT HAD THE BANDS, ALL THE PICS, INCLUDING THE PICS OF MY KIDS?
THAT'S RIGHT...MYSPACE ATE MY KIDS.CAPTIVATING CAPTAINS...
"MAKE IT SO..." ..
AND MR..I'M SO GLAD HE DOESN'T HAVE SCISSOR HANDS...DEPP AND FINALLY...THE STEEL WOOL THAT MAKES YER MOUTH BLEED...DON'T LOOK AT THE PINK IN THE MILK...IT'S NOT CRUNCH BERRIES, IT'S BLOOD...
IT AIN'T YER HAIR OR YER HAT...IT'S HOW ABRASIVE AND SWEET YOU ARE. Ummm....try not to be crunchy, though...ewy...

Television:

FIRST I GOT DAVID'S FISH DRUNK....
THEN I TOOK ADVANTAGE OF IT...SLUTTY FISH...

TONGUE WAR...ME AND JESSE...I WON...HAHA!

I read the back of the frosted flakes box. Sorry they made me read too much in grad school...oh, but here is some of my art...I do have some talent...:D

Books:

Anything regarding ancient human history. Other than that, cereal boxes. Speaking of that, what ever happened to "toys in the cereal box"? src="http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y280/Allysmiles/webDSC _1977.jpg"

Heroes:

My parents
My big brother...what a nut... My kidsIt's SUPER DADDY!!! Yeah, he's "the guy"...lol..And a father who is there for his children is a hero beyond measure.
This is Brian. At one of the hardest moments in my life, he was the hand in the dark, and I will never forget it as long as I live.

My Blog

Creative Valentines Ideas for the Rich in Spirit ;)

Okay, so you are rich in spirit, low on cash, or maybe just not really into this whole "Valentines" thing.  Maybe you are just tired of chocolates that get tossed cause they are "fattening" ...
Posted by The Girl on Sat, 10 Feb 2007 11:19:00 PST

How Jay PROPOSED TO ME....lol

THE PROPOSAL:    LMAO&Ok, I assure you?  THIS IS A TRUE STORY, PEOPLE Let's see if I can get this all in here&.um night of proposal goes roughly like this: 1.  Jay and Ally drink...
Posted by The Girl on Fri, 02 Feb 2007 03:52:00 PST

Never Believe...

Never Believe You should believe in happy endings In better tomorrows The the grass will smell just as good when they cut it this spring. But never believe you know the ending to anything. And...
Posted by The Girl on Sat, 27 Jan 2007 10:19:00 PST

How To Make People Disappear

Hot damn.  I just solved any and all of my "ewww" guy, and "stalker guy" problems using ONLY PHILOSPHY.  Wow, I told ya'll I was brilliant, did I not?  I must thank Anne for igniting my...
Posted by The Girl on Mon, 22 Jan 2007 06:08:00 PST

ARKANSAS'S Baffling BASKETBALL Disorder

Ally's Psychoanalysis:  ARKANSAS' BAFFLING BASKETBALL DISORDER     (YES, a girl wrote this, get over it)   Okay, I've been following Razorback Basketball (Basketball is proof ...
Posted by The Girl on Sun, 21 Jan 2007 02:02:00 PST

THE BEST LEGAL DEFENSE EVER

THE ABSOLUTE, BEST DEFENSE TO ANY CHARGE.  I  HAVE TO SHARE IT.  I JUST CAN'T HIDE MY BRILLIANCE ANY LONGER.  I firmly believe it is my civil responsibility to finish law schooloo...
Posted by The Girl on Sun, 14 Jan 2007 12:48:00 PST

Baptism and Church Rituals Gone Awry

Okay, I have to admit it.  It doesn't matter HOW much I study Christianity, I am STILL totally lost on this whole Baptism thing.  First of all, if one looks to the New Testiment, it is John ...
Posted by The Girl on Fri, 12 Jan 2007 11:30:00 PST

WHAT NOT TO DO...lol...Okay, it works now...

WHAT NOT TO DO:  Here we go--Perfect example.  Oh, this is my new column, by the way. Like it?  :D  ~Ally~ 1.  Um...driving while, well, Bipolar and not on meds. It starts in ...
Posted by The Girl on Fri, 12 Jan 2007 10:32:00 PST

What TO Do: CRYING and

About Crying: Okay, folks here we go.  How many people wonder what to do when someone is crying?  Well, we all do at one time or another.  A lot of men talk about not knowing what to do...
Posted by The Girl on Sat, 20 Jan 2007 10:30:00 PST

My Faith

Am I an Atheist?  Not by a long shot, but I do have a whole lot of really funny things to make fun of them for also...lol.. 1.  I believe in The Sermon on The Mount :  Matthew Five...
Posted by The Girl on Wed, 10 Jan 2007 10:28:00 PST