brittles profile picture

brittles

if only life were as easy as you...

My Interests

I'd like to meet:


I am the wonderful , the talented and amazingly amazing Britt!
King of boxes , lordess (not lady) of fountains , pizza nerd, ROBOT/NINJA and music molester.
I like my ice cream iced and my basketball drunken.
Ok…let’s cut the crap ...
I’m kind of a nerd , but without the fantastic grades.
I like llamas and lip rings, crappy music and good music , and the same for movies.
My guitar is my husband, but-
he cheats on me because I play stupid songs like medieval crotch pox.
I’m pretty much average .
I call everyone hobo .
They call me poophead .
But strangely it works out…

Go to college, become a rock godd(ess)get proposed to in the mosh pit of a good concert, and then retire to a calm life of assassinating the people who called you poophead in high school (when you clearly weren’t). Is that too much to ask? I have bad habits like everyone else… I occasionally spit, belch, fart, and drool, and I generally think it’s hilarious. I won’t sing in public, but in the car (and sheep pen) I’ll belt out the lyrics like I’m being tested on volume, and I’m pretty much a giant pain in the ass, but I’m okay with that. I’m on the verge of perfection! i'm such a damn genius it's no wonder you all worship me!

I love Shelly, but she has this odd habit of trying to show people her underwear. I seem to recall one day she started to show someone her underwear in a Quiznos. When she realized there were cameras in the store, Shelly made sure they got some entertainment. Shelly is THE craziest person I know, completely off the wall, but still my best friend, not to mention she's my favorite computer nerd. So far her boyfriends have included the ape, the ken doll, midget, and I can't recall the other's nicknames, but I'm sure they were genius. She is also fond of giving lap dances.

Jamie reminds me of many things... Cow shit, feed bins, the lion king, cow shit, and big eyed freaks who lust after rings from that one movie with the hot elf dude. She's like my big sister, cousin and friend all in one! My love for Jamie is like when you pee your pants, you can't always see it at first, but you can feel it!

the rest of the poop heads

Hello there MATES ! This is actually SHELLY speaking... I got the unfortunate pleasure
of meeting almost all of these *alter egos* of Britts... I will be describing them in my point of view...


After the movie PIRATES was made, Britt ended up with an unhealthy obsession with pirates. Thus came the Punk Pirate Princess name Batman. Once again it refers to a GUY... Could Britt be secretly wanting to be a guy?? Oh and when she is in this... Uhhh.. Personality...She will not answer to PUNK, PIRATE and especially not PRINCESS... You must call her Batman. Is this PPP name Batman a guy or girl? I don't think even Britt knows.

The story is simple.... One day online, Britt decides to be a man. And not just any man, but a KING! And she must be an important king... So she ends up choosing to be the KING OF ALL BOXES!! If you read later on, Britt becomes a homeless hairy man... I guess there's some connection since homeless people live in boxes... This KING OF THE BOXES will often threaten to throw boxes at you. KING OF THE BOXES goal to to lead the world to storage.... Don't ask...

Buffman was born one summer at Shelly's Camp Retreat... I kid you not. We had to do a skit and Britt played my bodyguard. She gets a pillow, stuff her stomach, than started running around shouting: "I AM BUFFMAN!".... It had nothing to do with a skit about God... But Britt made everyone laugh.

Sadly this is just Britt trying to act normal at school. Suddenly, everyone decides Britt is a Poop Head.

Hobo (Bum)
Britt also has an unhealthy obsession with Bums. She wants to take one to prom, and even marry one. So naturally, she thinks she is one at times.





i wanna meet someone i can have fun with, thats all.

new friends, whatever. im not looking for the love of my life, especially not on myspace!

o ya, and let's not forget the filthy youth and other such delicious bands =].

DON'T TELL ME THE SKY IS MY LIMIT
I'VE SEEN FOOT STEPS ON THE MOON



Music:

i like a little of everything, but my favorites are of the alternative/indie variety =] they're delicious

Movies:

i love comedies, horror films, and of course, romances... my faves include: tenth kingdom,the boondock saints, idiocracy, kung fu hustle, shaolin soccer, all will ferrel movies, fight club, surf ninjas, dangerous beauty, american beauty, and the virgin suicides.

Television:

anything funny

Books:

so many good ones, there are way too many to even think of listing!

Heroes:

M I Z Z C L A N

Mizz Shellz
The Goofball


Mizz JJays
The Bitch


Mizz Gothz
The Evil Genius


Mizz Gothz
The Girl-Next-Door


Mizz Justini
The Bombshell

My Blog

stabbed by a hooker

yesterday was my mom's birthday, so we (the family units) tried to make it special for her...i ended up getting stabbed in the chest with a fork by a mexican hooker who bears a striking resemblance to...
Posted by brittles on Thu, 23 Aug 2007 01:20:00 PST

things i have discovered: what NOT to do your first day back at work...

1. don't arm wrestle the customers. ever. (even if they had it coming)2. NEVER guess at genders. if you can't tell, don't try.3. don't tell your boss that because he shaved he doesn't look younger, bu...
Posted by brittles on Sun, 05 Aug 2007 11:44:00 PST

lollipop

mmmm...europe....LONDONit all started with the 14 hour flight surfing the red tide squished between two people...no sleep.then we got lost in london,  where lovely old ladies helped us. i met my ...
Posted by brittles on Thu, 26 Jul 2007 02:36:00 PST

yab

so, on monday we went to this club called yab, which jessica alba was at supposedly, we didn't see her. it was really cool! until christine got blitzed, couldn't remeber who we were, and yelled at str...
Posted by brittles on Wed, 18 Jul 2007 06:24:00 PST

freaking italy!

why???today has been a day of embarrasment!!! so i have annie's song stuck in my head super bad, so i became one of those crazy people you see walking down the street, swinging their arms at their sid...
Posted by brittles on Thu, 12 Jul 2007 09:43:00 PST

new song

so while waiting in line for the harry potter movie (which was awesome) i started another song...it's really rough and i'll probably change it alot, but here are the lyrics (i don't have recording stu...
Posted by brittles on Wed, 11 Jul 2007 11:49:00 PST

aww! i love you guys!!!

ok, aside from the bad grammar and spelling, this is one of the sweetest emails i have ever gotten! i love you jen and ireyna!! for  someone you can be a dork but make people laugh!!  a...
Posted by brittles on Wed, 11 Jul 2007 11:19:00 PST

damn you italian curbs!!!

i swear i'm cursed...last night i went to make a phone call, an innocent phone call involving a 15 minute walk across from my apartment, when clutz thaat i am, i fall and sprain one ankle, and sliced ...
Posted by brittles on Wed, 11 Jul 2007 06:58:00 PST

the purse-man

today was a day like any other. hot, dirty, and smelling of urine. yes. urine. our hero searches valiantly throughout ponte vecchio and the duomo for beef base for soup...i mean ooo THE HOLY GRAIL ooo...
Posted by brittles on Sat, 07 Jul 2007 12:22:00 PST

eurotrip:the remix...

so you know that deleted scene, where the two guys end up wearing all of ther clothes because they can't take their luggage? well...apparently my bags were a bit too full... there are pictures! i ende...
Posted by brittles on Tue, 03 Jul 2007 01:12:00 PST