Stewart profile picture

Stewart

I am here for Friends

About Me

One piano. Two bongos. Three testicles. i could use that drink now.imaginary band: http://www.myspace.com/thenewpreachbabyexchange real band: Kiss Her For the KidSee real band below. See imaginary band in the peppermint forest beyond the marmalade sea.

My Interests

Anything that responds with musicality when tickled, teased, strummed, plucked, blown, boogled, or beaten. Words. Sleight of hand. People and records of the things that people do. Science. The end of the world. Other worlds. Pinball. Punnery. Drawing pictures of naked women.

I'd like to meet:

Whoever put the bop in the bop-sha bop-sha bop. Totally. Also Ani DiFranco, Isaac Asimov, Terry Gilliam, Neil Peart, William Shatner, Amy Coats, Kurt Vonnegut, P.C. Hodgell, Johnny Depp, Oscar Wilde, Lenny Lipton, and Lester Bangs. i also really wonder whatever became of Chris Nelson.That sounds like an unbearable dinner party, for sure.

Music:

Nina Hagen, Sing-Sing, Igor Stravinski, The Last, Mike Watt, Magazine, Captain Beefheart, Eric Dolphy, Sleepytime Gorilla Museum, Autolux, Minutemen, Ricky Nelson, The Beautiful South, Silversun Pickups, Ray Charles, ALL, Django Reinhardt, Dave Brubeck, Alice Cooper, Patti Smith, Gang of Four, NoMeansNo, Gentle Giant, Snow Patrol, MC5, Joe Jackson, Kate Bush, The Jam, Buzzcocks, X, Misfits, Richard Hell, 10cc, Yardbirds, Untied States, Flaming Lips, Oingo Boingo, No Knife, Cursive, Rush, Ani DiFranco, Mr. Bungle, Shudder to Think, Jethro Tull, Faraquet, Television, Talking Heads, The Cure, pre-80s Stevie Wonder, Steve Howe era Yes, Sex Pistols, Tom Waits, Mighty Mighty Bosstones, They Might Be Giants, Lagwagon, The Specials, Elvis Costello, Chuck Berry, Beatles, Wes Montgomery, Hagfish, The Clash, Frank Zappa, John Coletrane, Miles Davis, Pink Floyd, Sunny Day Real Estate, Depeche Mode, David Bowie, T. Rex, Roxy Music, Abba, Black Sabbath, Cardigans, The Smiths, Ed Matus' Struggle, Sir Millard Mulch, Tepado, Landing on Land, Escape From Gorilla City, Liv Tyler in the Universe, Simon Said..., Smile for the Satellite, Heronymous, Blanket, The Doses, Pixies, Sonic Youth, Fugazi, Minor Threat, John Zorn, Led Zepplin, Iron Maiden, Simon and Garfunkel, Jimi Hendrix, Mars Volta, Tears For Fears,The Housemartins, Jane's Addiction, Queen, Tori Amos, Stan Getz, Thelonius Monk, Weezer, The Who, The Police, Lou Reed, Velvet Underground, Jeff Buckley, Dead Kennedys, Elvis Presley, The Beach Boys, Louis Armstrong, Sara Vaughn, Frank Sinatra, Cab Calloway, Blue Oyster Cult, Smoking Popes, Bjork, Portishead, Beastie Boys, DMX, Grateful Dead, Concrete Blonde, Modest Mouse, Radiohead, Buddy Holly, Spike Jones, Ozzy Osbourne, Dar Williams, Blondie, OutKast, Billy Joel, Fugees, Erin McKewoen, Ben Folds Five, Lusk, Supertramp, Foo Fighters, Sam Prekop, Ilium, Parliament, Smashing Pumpkins, XTC, Madness, Coheed and Cambria, Archers of Loaf, GunsnRoses, Devo, Wire, Dead Milkmen, Ramones, No Doubt, Bob Marley, Cheap Trick, The Doors, The Monkees, The The, Iggy Pop, Jackson 5, early Chicago, America, Charlie Parker, The Sundays, and King Crimson.

Movies:

Brazil, Batman Begins, Better Off Dead, Donnie Darko, Big Lebowski, Millers Crossing, Cloak and Dagger, Adventures of Baron Munchausen, The Natural, The Sting, Trainspotting, Sneakers, 12 Monkeys, Evil Dead Trilogy, Blade Runner, Night of the Living Dead, The Kid, The Circus, The Great Dictator, Until the end of the World, Velvet Goldmine, Kill Bill, Conan the Barbarian, Jerimiah Johnson, Platoon, Apocolypse Now, Grosse Point Blank, Shadows and Fog, Trinity and Beyond, Unforgiven, A perfect world, Deep Red, Susperia, Tenebre, Endless Summer, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Miracle Mile, Last Night, Team America, Orgazmo, Charade, Underground, Santa Sangre, Naked Lunch, Alien 1-4, Tom Jones, Princess Bride, Rushmore, Royal Tenenbaums, Bottle Rocket, Shakespeare in love, Princess and the Pirate, Dazed and Confused, Three Amigos, Star Wars, Fight Club, Heathers, Fargo, Breathless, Rebel Without a Cause, City of Lost Children, Amilee, Delicatessen, Casablanca, all Marx Brothers.

Television:

Star Trek, Twilight Zone, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Prisoner, South Park, Simpsons, Muppets, Tales From The Crypt, Alfred Hitchcock presents, The Daily Show, Batman, Quantum Leap, Mr. Show, Kids in the Hall, Conan O'Brien, Johnny Carson, Muppet Babies, Looney Tunes, Wonder Years

Books:

E.T.A. Hoffman, Hyperspace, Catch 22, A Short History of Nearly Everything, Lester Bangs, JD Salinger, Philip K Dick, Tom Robbins, Kurt Vonnegut, Oscar Wilde, Shirley Jackson, Fritz Leiber, William Burroughs, Henry Miller, Infinite Jest, Beautiful and Damned, Chronicles of Narnia, Peter Pan, Tao the Watercourse Way, Horror of Hickory Bay, Civilwarland in bad decline, Dark of the Moon, The Diamond Age, Snow Crash, Cyteen, No Irish No Blacks No Dogs, the complete pinball book.

Heroes:

Shy Aberman, Buckaroo Banzai, George McLain Sr.

My Blog

Brad, Clive, and the dream of a lifetime

Due to the overwhelming influx of queries from Brad Fries regarding the meaning of my personal quote, i submit the following:Well, as it happens, my girlfriend thinks ol' Clive is pretty sexy. And th...
Posted by Stewart on Thu, 20 Sep 2007 12:06:00 PST

Icky-russ

A recent examination of my writing style has concluded (and i have no delusions that my readership - excellent fellows, all - will feel an obligation to affect any of the various symptoms that might ...
Posted by Stewart on Sun, 16 Sep 2007 10:08:00 PST

Deep Cleaning pt.1

The other day as i was preparing to clean the flat roof portion of my house, i ventured a slightly non prudent maneuver to get from ladder to roof in the interest of saving a little time. Fortunately...
Posted by Stewart on Tue, 28 Aug 2007 11:51:00 PST

Master of the Metalworlds

A few days ago i made a very bold assertion regarding the superiority of Megadeth over Metallica. At the time of this statement, i had absolutely no conception as to the magnitude of the controversy ...
Posted by Stewart on Wed, 18 Jul 2007 12:25:00 PST

Brought to you by the letter "M"

Today my girlfriend sent me out to buy some chicken breasts. The mams. She don't care if they're boned, boneless, skin on, skin off...this is an easy mission for me. So i hop in the mazda and am im...
Posted by Stewart on Mon, 16 Jul 2007 05:50:00 PST

UmmaGumma

Sensual perception is a curious thing. The average person has five, maybe six, various receptors with which to suss out the universe around them. (people who claim to have as many as seven should be...
Posted by Stewart on Sat, 17 Mar 2007 10:54:00 PST

Excerpt from a letter to X

So now it's story time. This is one that was brought up a few nights ago. It's still fresh in my mind and is as good as any: During my last year in Orlando, i was living with my then-girlfriend Amy in...
Posted by Stewart on Sun, 18 Jun 2006 10:25:00 PST

excerpt from a letter to The Kidd

Summer is starting and i have this ingrained sense of entitlement that keeps telling me that i deserve three months off. It's getting stronger every day. i don't know how long i can fight it. i keep h...
Posted by Stewart on Fri, 05 May 2006 06:33:00 PST