That was a metaphorical box.This is an actual box. profile picture

That was a metaphorical box.This is an actual box.

can't keep anything nice

About Me

I'm newly back in the UK, where everything is new and exciting - stay tuned for the most zany wackiness you'll ever see!!!!!!!!! Or just continue to stare into my life like the hopeless voyeur that you are. Either way, I'm the one posting all this on the internet, so which of us is truly in the wrong?

I make and sell things for Etsy.com - have a look at my page!

Banner designed by Michel. You can see more of his work here.

My Interests

Vinegar, nutrition, upholstery, and beekeeping.

I'd like to meet:


I fucken love Peaches. Also Buck Angel. Thom Yorke (not least because he makes it ok for me to dance like a mentalist ), Amanda Palmer . And of course, Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer , Lee and Herring , and Eddie Izzard .
There are quite a few people I'd like to meet for coffee. Many of them are listed below.

Music:

This was all getting a bit hectic, so I've decided to only list the things and stuff that make me chuckle like a four year old. So, for the music: Pitchshifter, Radiohead, Thom Yorke (The Eraser is... divine.), Biomechanical, Bjork, Pink Floyd, Aphex Twin, Zuul FX, Rabbit Junk, Five Horse Johnson, Faithless, Fear Factory, PEACHES, eXit wound, ISOR, Alec Empire, The Dresden Dolls, NIN, DJ Format, J5, Prodigy, SKINDRED, Atari Teenage Riot, Guano Apes, Missy Elliot, Die Toten Hosen, Solemn Camel Crew, Shetan, Otep, Psychostick...

Movies:

I like films that make me go "oh." Current favourite is Inside I'm Dancing ... I've had quite a thing for James McAvoy since seeing this - and an even bigger thing since seeing him in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. There's definitely something about men with backwards goat legs. Other films I sometimes like to sit in front of are: Run Lola, Run, A Clockwork Orange, Dr Strangelove, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Dancer in the Dark, Man on the Moon, The Life and Death of Peter Sellers, all the (proper) Pink Panther films, Jurassic Park, the Back to the Future series, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Secretary, Death Bed, Rosemary's Baby, Shaun of the Dead, Dogma, Adaptation, Cemetary Man, SeSEVENen, Amelie, The Descent, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest ...

Television:

Eastenders! As well as all that tosh (which I love, so dearly), I have DVDs of Brass Eye, The Mighty Boosh, SPACED, Father Ted, Vic Reeves Big Night Out, Futurama, Quantum Leap, Adam and Joe, Jam, King of the Hill, Home Movies, Dead Like Me, and The Chronicles of Narnia. When I'm watching actual telly, I like shows like Jeremy Kyle (the very heights of melodramatic beauty), Takeshi's Castle (it used to really cheer me up before having to leave for work on a Sunday morning), Scrapheap Challenge (it makes me want to make things out of other things, even if it is on a smaller scale), QI (which makes me feel immensely clever, especially when I watch repeats of it), and Harry Hill's TV Burp makes me laugh embarassingly loud, even if I haven't seen the programmes he's talking about. The Badger Parade! Oh Mr Harry. etc. I'm so old school.

Books:

American Psycho, Rosemary's Baby, anything by Douglas Adams, The Little Monsters Word Book (Mercer Mayer),anything by Germaine Greer, The Age of Reason, Cunt - a declaration of Independence, various biographies of bands and people I admire, textbooks on things I randomly find and think will be interesting (depression, psychology, publishing, feminism, gender and sexuality, etc) and uh... erotic fiction :)I'm currently re-re-re-reading AGAIN the Hitchikers' Guide trilogy (of five) books again. Love it.

Heroes:

There are some people that I look at and think, 'Yeah, well done you.' Want a list? Here you are then. Bjork, Stewart Lee and Richard Herring, John Lydon, Thom Yorke, Eddie Izzard, Buck Angel, Peaches, Inga Muscio (EVERYONE needs to read her book, 'Cunt,' regardless of whether you own one or not), Amanda Palmer, Douglas Adams, and though they are not 'real' I love Tank Girl, Dave Lister, Daisy Steiner, Leela, Vince Noir, and Daria too. Anyone who's into doing what nobody else has done before, blurring the lines in music, comedy, writing and gender, or you're just plain kick-ass with great hair, yeah. You have earned my respect. Be proud of that achievement.

My Blog

Craft fairs - now at regular intervals!

Those regular intervals being a month long - Eclectic Collective craft shows will now be taking place on the SECOND SATURDAY OF EVERY MONTH. Write it in your diaries, tell your mothers, and bring your...
Posted by fornicatory bumslap on Mon, 14 May 2007 02:56:00 PST

I'm not in love, but my feet are all springy.

For the past couple of weeks I have been in a curiously good mood. I still have some sad, unmotivated days but lately they've been few and far between. I've been walking with purpose and posture ...
Posted by fornicatory bumslap on Thu, 01 Mar 2007 06:27:00 PST

Art and Craft fair - April 14th - Woods Wine Bar !

The artist EJ Martin and the random do-er of things, myself, plus Kate, Nathan and Nicky (all tbc) will be hosting an arts and crafts style event upstairs at Woods Wine Bar in Yeovil on April 14th of ...
Posted by fornicatory bumslap on Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:12:00 PST

everyone who shares a birthday with me now, shared a body with me in history.

find out who you were in a past life. Your past life diagnosis: I don't know how you feel about it, but you were female in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory o...
Posted by fornicatory bumslap on Thu, 18 Jan 2007 09:36:00 PST

fnggghhhhhh.

A conversation with Doug.   (Not-really-watching the news, when a short headline comes up about 'The Indian girl' in Big Brother (I'm afraid I don't know her name) being upset about racist remark...
Posted by fornicatory bumslap on Tue, 16 Jan 2007 08:18:00 PST

in the week I've been home, I have:

* found two jobs * started (and FINISHED) two scarves and a handbag * been shopping * been asked out on a date * and I'm going out with friends every night for the next three nights.   This could...
Posted by fornicatory bumslap on Wed, 15 Nov 2006 01:02:00 PST

meeting people is easy

...If you have been rejected many times in your life, then one more rejection then one more rejection isn't going to make much difference. If you're rejected, don't automatically assume it's your fau...
Posted by fornicatory bumslap on Fri, 03 Nov 2006 03:16:00 PST

guh.

I just turned the radio (bbc radio 2) in time to hear an excerpt from a small soundbyte from Thom Yorke about his feelings on celebrity (he hates it), and his percieved public persona of being a miser...
Posted by fornicatory bumslap on Thu, 26 Oct 2006 03:25:00 PST

if you play 'maybe I'm amazed' backwards it gives a great recipe for lentil soup.

Lisa the vegetarian....
Posted by fornicatory bumslap on Wed, 18 Oct 2006 06:15:00 PST

'Stop talking about fanny, you fanny obsessed prick!'

So, yeah. Had a brilliant time last night, went to the 21st birthday party of a friend I've known since school. It was a bbq but I was allowed some vege burgers and hummus so I was happy emmbob. Only ...
Posted by fornicatory bumslap on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST