James - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I was born under an oak tree in Devon and that is where I currently reside. I was raised by giant wolves who cruise at the centre of the earth whilst eating un-named bush-babies with leprosy. Sometimes I would make a friend, but soon we would fight to the death. Undefeated, I am all alone until I fall to join my pack-mates in Valhallah.

Recently I bought a cactus.It died.

My Interests

Snorting lines of cocaine off the thighs of thirteen-year-old vietnamese prostitutes, then writing Psychadelic-Hard-Trance songs about how great it is.

I'd like to meet:

Myself in a parallel dimension (or Bender from Futurama).

Music:

I like Psychadelic-Hard-Trance bands like Solemn Camel Crew, but especially Emo-Core music what I go see at the weekend with all my other Emo mates who are scene as fuck and we all dress different and non-conformist and listen to loud music by tripple-barrelled named bands who sing about cutting themselves because Mummy doesn't give them any pocket money. Sometimes I punch the wall when Mummy won't drive me to the gig or wants to pick me up early 'cos its a school night!

Movies:

My favourite movies are the ones where the hero has a big sword and saves the day, whilst managing to have time spare to write songs in his bedroom and going on dates with girls who dress like Lyndsay Lohan, but are relatively ugly.

Television:

Sometimes I watch porn over Daddy's shoulder when he is jacking off. I think he knows I'm there and secretly turns him on. Sometimes I'm afraid of Daddy...

Books:

I like books about flower arranging.

Heroes:

Eminem is my hero because he is confused about his sexuality and ethnic origin like me.

My Blog

The Fawn and the Fire

A warm, deceitful glow met Siegfreid's eyes. The dim light of the few remaining candles only worsened the inevitable feeling of longing. This girl had held his heart from the moment he fir...
Posted by James on Thu, 30 Aug 2007 09:41:00 PST

HAHAHAHahahagrteydhfytrueu

Gary Allens went to townOn a cloud of hopes and dreamsAnd ate only the finest meat piesMade of your mother's buttons.She said, "Fuck off!"So I chopped her up,For marriage is a dull and tuneless acrony...
Posted by James on Fri, 30 Mar 2007 07:22:00 PST

The Youth Who Knew Too Much

The lit pipe drooped from his crooked lips, spilling ash onto the burgundy, mongoose-hair rug. "Warr yooo sais too mi, you daff coont!" He babbled, but little attention was paid to him, be...
Posted by James on Wed, 28 Mar 2007 05:09:00 PST

Jane Austen

Jane Austen is an unforgivable discrepancy in the human race.
Posted by James on Sat, 10 Mar 2007 11:21:00 PST

The Girl Without a Dream

"Romance is not about 'When' its about 'If'. It is the power of uncertainty that moves us. The purposeful brush of a beautiful young girl's hand against your own, that ...
Posted by James on Mon, 29 May 2006 08:01:00 PST

The Barren-One

Somewhere, the barren-one was calling for him. The misdeeds of his previous life were quick to resurface at the seat of Siegried's thoughts. The moaning dirge of a nearby brook, chille...
Posted by James on Mon, 20 Mar 2006 07:47:00 PST

Contour Denied

The hero struggles into the waking world, his worn back on warm sand. Venturing a glance upwards at the sky, he catches the sun in his right fist. What a fool he had been to think that he could ...
Posted by James on Tue, 07 Mar 2006 06:33:00 PST

Limbic

Scratching around his limbic system, our hero learns true happiness. Severed arteries and histrionics led him to believe there was more to this life, but there isn't. When he stopped spinn...
Posted by James on Tue, 22 Nov 2005 01:22:00 PST

Red Gate

The hole in the sky grew bigger today. Anxious to try on my new hat I peeled off my eyelids and chortled at the Sun. After going blind, I learned to appreciate the world for what it is.&nb...
Posted by James on Fri, 18 Nov 2005 06:07:00 PST

Toxin

Eating fossilised black turpentine, I stumbled upon a gateway to another world. The feeling of nervousness grew as I took a step through the gate and felt the gravity twist my vitals i...
Posted by James on Fri, 11 Nov 2005 07:57:00 PST