James profile picture

James

Life is too important to be taken seriously - Oscar Wilde

About Me

I am an abusive alcoholic who hates children and old people. I fart every chance I can get. I wear anti-bacterial underwear so I never have to take them off. I leave hair in the sink. Usually not mine. I like to make people uncomfortable to the point that they end up feeling comfortable because they think I'm kidding and then they realize I am not so then they go right back to feeling uncomfortable. ...then I sleep with them. I like to go shopping with other people's money. David Blaine was here, I drive a corolla. It was new in 2000. Now it smells like dead animals. I should take them out. I once knew a guy who told this really funny joke. You should meet him. It was a funny joke. I'm just a simple man looking for a girl whose sweet, funny and catatonic. And stronger than me. I take short walks on the beach because I get winded easily and I'm a Leo with with an Andre "Bad Moon" Rison. Oh, and I like cheese. Thank you.

My Interests


____________________________ Texas Hold'em, Golf, Drawing, Painting, Percussion, Taking Dumps, Being late to important events, Scrabble, Bache Ball, Fantasy Baseball, Sleeping, Free Drinks, Driving Drunk and not paying child support, Myspace, Not Acting, Working out (actually hate that too), Scene-It, Break Dancing, Fishing, Bowling, Eating, Video Games, Risk, Butts and Wieners (don't ask)

I'd like to meet:

.....................MY COLD CASE EPISODE. Cue the Sarah McLachlan... My Mountain Dew Commercial With Chuck Norris My Slim Jim Commercial

Music:

Tool, DMB, Radiohead, Audiolave, Notwist, Jets To Brazil, NIN, Ryan Adams, All American Rejects, Sigur Ros, 2Pac, Timberland, David Blaine was here, Beastie Boys, Bloodhound Gang, Johnny Cash, Jeff Buckley, Foo Fighters, Killers, Filter, Ween, Jurassic 5, ODB, Pink Floyd, BB King, Orbital, Underworld, Aphex Twin, A Perfect Circle, ACDC, Citizen Cope, Guns N'Roses, Hybrid, OutKast, Incubus, ETC.

Movies:

Forrest Gump, Little Marines 1 & 2, Clockwork Orange, Time Bandits, Howard The Duck, Evil Dead Trilogy, Surf Nazis Must Die, Warriors, Disorderlies, March of The Penguins, Boogie Nights, Motel Hell, The Shining, Frankie and Johnny, Before Sunrise, Sideways, The Adventures of Baron Munchowsen (sp), Monty Python and The Holy Grail, School of Rock, The Aristocrats, Inherit The Wind, The Client, Graduate, Risky Business, Troll 1 & 2

Television:

Lost, Black Donnelys, Sopranos, Entourage, House, UFC, MLB, ESPN, David Blaine was here, ESPN NEWS, Around The Horn, Pardon The Interruption, HBO Real Sports, Bill Mahr, Dave Chappelle, MXC, Price Is Right, CSI, Sanford and Son and of course Sister Sister (never knew how much I missed her) I edited my profile with Thomas' Myspace Editor V4.4

Books:

Ishmael, Story Of B, Sophie's World, Waiting For Lefty, Life And Adventures Of Nicholas Nickelby, Shadow Box, Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf, Inherit The Wind, Proof, The FairTax Book, David Blaine was here, Picasso At The Lapin Agile, Does A Wild Bear Chip In The Woods?, Dinner With Friends, Anything Shakespeare, Waiting for Godot, Boys Next Door, The Gold Bug, How To Win Friends and Influence People, My High School Year Book and the Phone Book.I edited my profile with Thomas' Myspace Editor V4.4


BAD KUNG FU AUDITION

Heroes:

I edited my profile at Freeweblayouts.net , check out these Myspace Layouts!

My Blog

BOXBOARDERS! PREMIERE @ NEWPORT BEACH FESTIVAL

Nobody is going to read this but HEY, what the heck! Wanted to let everyone know about the two upcoming festivals Boxboarders, my movie, will be premiering at. NEWPORT BEACH FILM FESTIVAL: Wed Apri...
Posted by James on Fri, 13 Apr 2007 09:25:00 PST

We did it for the Tookie... so you can get dat Cookie.

Stanley Tookie Williams III (December 29, 1953 - December 13, 2005) was the founder with Raymond Washington of the widely-known and notorious Crips street gangs. In 1981, he was convicted and sentenc...
Posted by James on Tue, 13 Dec 2005 01:22:00 PST

DO YOU LOVE BASEDOW?! CHECK IT OUT!

I have a pure and unadulterated love for John Basedow. The fitness god of celebrities. The man who cannot stop flexing on his commercials. "Fitness Made Simple." Theory: He is in a constant state o...
Posted by James on Sat, 26 Nov 2005 12:00:00 PST