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Well, I really don't know what to say about myself so I figure maybe its best that I just put somethings that may give some insight into who I am. The first is something that a wrote a while back and have been working on but just haven't had the time, nor the desire to finish it, simply because of the lack of inspiration and the sometimes dark thoughts that come to mind to add spice to the story but may cause people to miss the whole point so I just said screw it... lol...
"look at yourself, so full of anger and self-loathing, you've become a meer shell of the man i once knew, the man who so callously won my heart, my soul, my undying devotion"
"i don't know what you want from me. what is it that i have that keeps you here, that forces you to feel such a need to save me? why can't you see that i am not worth saving, that in a way i don't want to be saved?"
"isn't it enough that i love you?"
"love... you love me? how can you love me when you can't say for sure that you love yourself?"
"don't mistake growth for not loving, i love who i am but i love what i have become through you even more."
"sweet words, but that's all they are, nothing more."
"i don't understand this, why do you people constantly turn away those who are so willing to risk it all just to be with you?"
"are you fucking serious! i'm postive you ass! what about that do you not understand?"
"what i don't understand is what gives you the right to choose how i live my life, and who i choose to love."
"this fucking virus gives me the right!"
"how arrogant of you to think that, and how cruel of you to not take my feelings into account. you only get one shot, one shot at this life and then its all over, why not make the most of it?"
"easier said than done, and especially easy for you, since you don't carry the same burden as me. how am i supposed to deal knowing that i could pass this on to you? how am i supposed to deal knowing that it will be me who sentences you to death? there are so many things you aren't thinking about here, this is not like the fairy tales or some afterschool special where all you need is love... love... who needs it..."
"you don't mean that, and i know it. you think i haven't thought about it? come on you know me better than that. trust me, coming to this decision is not something i took lightly, and in the end the only thing that was clear was that first and foremost i love you, more than life itself, i love you. this is my choice, my life, my descion, i take what you have said and what you feel to heart, but this is my desicion, not yours to make."
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ONE OF THE GREATEST SONGS EVER WRITTEN BY ONE OF THE GREATEST BANDS
Smashing Pumpkins - Disarm
Disarm you with a smile
And cut you like you want me to
Cut that little child
Inside of me and such a part of you
Ooh, the years burn
I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what i choose is my choice
What's a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you
Disarm you with a smile
And leave you like they left me here
To wither in denial
The bitterness of one who's left alone
Ooh, the years burn
Ooh, the years burn, burn, burn
I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what I choose is my voice
What's a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
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LOVING ONE.
You need safety in your relationship. You want to be sure in his/her arms, knowing that he will protect you and you can be totally devoted to your other. At this point you are very vulnerable. You open yourself and don't even think that he/she could cheat you. You totally trust your partner in every single way. SO if you find out that she/he lied to you or played a game this trust is broken. You may try to forgive your other but this will be very difficult. He/She has to be friendly and trustworthy.
~THE big LOVE TEST!! What do you need? With PICS! For girls and boys!~
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Needless to say, not really looking for a relationship, because well boys lie, and men are dogs.