No I will not add your shitty fucking band profile picture

No I will not add your shitty fucking band

I'm not a gynecologist, but I'll take a look...

About Me

I'm tall, handsome, smart and opinionated. I have high standards, a high quality of life and no time for drama or bullshit. I write words for games, comics and cartoons. My friends are awesome. If we're not friends, you probably suck. Or we haven't met. That's entirely possible. Also, I tell jokes that offend people. Thank you.

Also, if you are a politician, or a 'journalist' on Fox News, this is what I want to do to you:

And Slamball is awesome:

..

My Interests

Surfing (badly). Skating to work. Drinking occasionally. Women. Hanging with my family, biological and chosen. Reading stupid things on the internet. Watching stupid youtubes on the internet. Drawing. Writing. Going to parties. Playing video games. Watching fillums. Criticising things. Comics (Ennis, Mignola, Moore, Morrison, etc...). Throwing things. Swearing in French. Practical jokes. Attempting to master new skills. Drawing offensive cartoons. Beaches. Rocking. Guitar Hero-ing. Martial Arts. MMA. UFC. Animals dressed as humans. Foods of the world. Esoteric Sciences. High-technology science. Evolution. Swimming in warm water. Jet bikes. Bizarre transport devices. BAD Karaoke. Girls who smell good...

I'd like to meet:

People I like. Actual Ninjas. People who couldn't give a shit about celebrities. Jim Morrison. People who can detect irony. My Spirit Animal. My Spirit Guide. Beings from Sirius B. A real Voodoo Priest. The Ether. The Begining. The End. The Infinite. The outside of time. People who live and die for their ideals. Folks with balls and integrity. Someone who can get me access to a regular channel of salmon sashimi. Someone who can get me Peyote or DMT. A Black Hole. Your mum. And these guys:

Music:

Frank Zappa, Dust Brothers, Orbital, The Doors, Bob Marley, Damian Marley, Black Sabbath, Infected Mushroom, Pendulum, Prodigy, JFK, Devil's Gun, Breakfastaz, Hybrid, Shpongle, Velvet Revolver, NOFX, early 'Tallica, early Slayer, early Pantera, Queens of the Stone Age, Poxy Boggarts, Anything with Mike Patton involved, Tenacious D, Ten Masked Men, Dethklok, Sex Pistols, Muse, Green Day, NOFX, John Barry, Zero Seven, The Old Boy soundtrack, Future Pigeon, Most classic RAWK, anything off Guitar Hero, BB King, John Coltrane, etc...

Movies:

An Inconvenient Truth, Old Boy, Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny, District B13, Jackass Number Two, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Speed Racer, Back to the Future 1 + 2, Ong Bak, Enter the Dragon, Fist of Legend, Transformers the Movie (original, not Michael Bay droppings), Spaceballs, Fight Club, Gone with the Wind, 300, Kung Pow, Blackbelt Jones, Star Wars (4+5), Sin City, Outfoxed: Rupert Murdoch's War on Journalism, The Godfather 1 + 2, Pulp Fiction, From Dusk Till Dawn, Goodfellas, The Princess Bride, Dumb and Dumber, Goonies, Swingers, The Long Kiss Goodnight, Back to the Future 2, Teen Wolf...Also, anything retarded / accidentally funny like Wicker Man and Guyver - the movie.

Television:

Disinformation, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law, 24 (only up to season 5), Metapocalypse, Lost, Simpsons, Family Guy, the A-Team, BlackAdder, Monty Python, Prison Break, I Should Be Dead, Victoria Secrets Fashion Show, Dexter, Flavor of Love, Boston Legal, UFC, MMA, Human Weapon...Also anything with midgets and / or monkeys and people falling over / being hit in the nuts.
GAMES (since you play them on the TV): Deus Ex, Super Mario World, System Shock 2, Resident Evil 4, Super Metroid, Street Fighter 2, King of Fighters '94 and '95, Virtua Fighter 4: Evo, Bubble Bobble, Metal Gear series, Ikaruga, Starfox, Abe's Oddessy, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night / Dawn of Sorrow, Prince of Persia (Mechner's original, not that Sands of Time horseshit), Contra Spirits, Darkstalkers, Wario Ware, Speedball 2, Guitar Hero, DDR, Fist of the North Star (Konami Arcade with the pads), Alien Vs Predator (Capcom Arcade scrolling fighter), Sim City, Fable, N, Portal, Team Fortress 2, Halo 3.I think that about covers it.Also, my XBL gamertag = Wong Shun Leung.
Wii number = 0976 2760 4403 4045

Books:

Batman Year One, The Invisibles, anything by the Disinformation company, anything by Grant Morrisson, Bruce Campbell's If Chins Could Kill, Story by Robert McKee, Goon, His Dark Materials trilogy, Harry Potter 3...

Heroes:

Heston Blumenthal, Randy Couture, Paul Laffoley, Bucky Fuller, Alex Grey, Wong Shun Leung, Des Spencer, Dad, Gran, Sammo Hung, TONY FUCKIN STARK (yes, I know he is fictional) And Mr T for services rendered toward hilarity:
..And Sir George Carlin.

My Blog

Fashion designers; FEAR ME

I have entered your world......WITH OFFENSIVE T-SHIRTS!!!PRINTS OF DARKNESS
Posted by No I will not add your shitty fucking band on Sun, 08 Jun 2008 10:09:00 PST

George Bush is great...

...at being an accidental comedian. .."Bitch! Let me finish!"Awesome. What a retard....
Posted by No I will not add your shitty fucking band on Sun, 25 May 2008 06:46:00 PST

Dimensional theory > told in almost-laymans terms

..WHOA. My brain just came.Edit: Aaron the wise just noted that the video is no longer available. Even though using Quantum physics, it is, is not, will be and has been available, all at ...
Posted by No I will not add your shitty fucking band on Tue, 20 May 2008 06:09:00 PST

Drunk Philosophy: What is, and is not bollocks

According to me, this is the truth.1. Religion is fake like WWE. And is therefore bollocks.According to most major religions - some motherfucker years and years ago came down from the sky. He was a un...
Posted by No I will not add your shitty fucking band on Sun, 04 May 2008 10:35:00 PST

Drunk songwriting: My shitty drunk after-birthday-party song

I am going to write a drunk song now. Because I am still drunk. I think.My shitty I think I'm still drunk birthday song.We started late because I suck at organising shitEspecially when I was eager to ...
Posted by No I will not add your shitty fucking band on Sun, 04 May 2008 08:51:00 PST

FOOD SCIENCE MASTERCLASS: CHOCO BACON EDITION aka you are now permitted to kneel before me

If you ever thought you knew food, consider yourself wrong. Today is the day the holiest and most sacred of foods was invented, witnessed by one Dina De Palma and my highly judgmental and now incredib...
Posted by No I will not add your shitty fucking band on Mon, 14 Apr 2008 02:54:00 PST

Pictures of cats doing funny things. You will laugh

This is a long-standing internet phenom known as 'lolcat'. I recently introduced it to my fecally-obsessed chum Becka and she nearly exploded through laughter muscle tension.Here are some highlights: ...
Posted by No I will not add your shitty fucking band on Sat, 12 Apr 2008 08:08:00 PST

Shit what made me laugh this week...

I love the internet....
Posted by No I will not add your shitty fucking band on Sat, 29 Mar 2008 09:35:00 PST

The Adventures of Mandingo - THE COMPLETE SAGA

This is a stupid idea for a comic that I had while texting stupid insults back and forth with Mr Hines. Before you is the complete Saga.Then I’ll do episode 2 in the Mandingo Adventures and the ...
Posted by No I will not add your shitty fucking band on Tue, 26 Feb 2008 08:30:00 PST

Stranded in Canadia

1. Don't use Orbitz to book anything. Turns out my flight back home for today was canceled and they didn't deem it a good decision to contact me and let me know this. 2. U.S AIRWAYS CUSTOMER SERVICE ...
Posted by No I will not add your shitty fucking band on Sun, 17 Feb 2008 07:32:00 PST