The voice in your head... profile picture

The voice in your head...

About Me

As my mum and dad will tell you I don't have a proper job, but its the best job in the world! I play records and talk nonsense and then the nice man gives me money. I want ice cream. Monkey tired. Don't wanna go to bed. Because. Why? I DON'T WANNA GO TO BED! Have you taken a moment to stop and think "Why am I still reading this? He's probably just being silly and seeing how much he can write before I stop reading. And yet here I am, still reading away, almost as if I have no will power and I must continue reading whatever stupid words he writes. I may even start talking out loud, and disturbing my friends. Have you seen my stapler? It was just there a minute ago. Over there. No. Not there. There. Boy I gotta stop writing these things when I'm drunk. Right I'm going to take all my clothes off and fall asleep standing up. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

The guy who does the voiceovers for those JML adverts. And then kill him. And take his place.

My Blog

Adventures in Drug Dealing - part 2 - the merchandise

So they texted back with their shopping list: "Erm....., 15 and a gram? X" What do I do. I know nothing about drugs. Well, that is to say, I'm not down with the kids. Do they still do E's? Whats ...
Posted by on Wed, 29 Aug 2007 16:58:00 GMT

Adventures in Drug Dealing

So I've just accidentally sort of become a drug dealer. I haven't got any bling or anything yet but I appear to have landed my first sale. I think the pro's refer to it as a "deal.". It wasn't intenti...
Posted by on Fri, 24 Aug 2007 02:38:00 GMT

Gut the Feck outta here

So I keep dreaming that there are puddles all over the floor of my flat. Anybody got any idea what that's about? I haven't wet the bed, well, not recently... Plus I keep waking up with my jaw locked t...
Posted by on Wed, 28 Feb 2007 05:35:00 GMT

A new tipple

Over the years my choice of drink has raised many eyebrows and occaisionally roused suspicion. From the 6 year period of tee-totallness that lasted my university career and then the more recent fascin...
Posted by on Tue, 12 Dec 2006 21:32:00 GMT

Anto Panto

ok so you know how I like dressing up and you've all been asking about 1 thing so I'm answering...   I will be in Aladdin with Helen at the Bridgehouse Theatre in Warwick on these ...
Posted by on Tue, 21 Nov 2006 07:26:00 GMT

Ipope

So the pope has got an ipod. On Fridays show I'll be asking you what tunes he should have on there, but here's some to get you started: Search for the Hero by M Papal Stone Roses I am the Ressurection...
Posted by on Thu, 09 Mar 2006 15:34:00 GMT

drugs are bad, mmmkay?

Seeing as I took it upon myself the other day to warn you of the dangers of alcohol, I felt it only fitting to warn you of crystal meths. Not that I tried that in Bath (but Dan knows a guy w...
Posted by on Wed, 22 Feb 2006 08:36:00 GMT

Don't drink and move

Lesson for today: If anybody ever offers/gives/presents you with a Flatliner, what do you do? YOU SAY NO!!! NO NO NO For the uninitiated, it is a shooter with is half sambuca and half tequilla, the tw...
Posted by on Mon, 20 Feb 2006 11:08:00 GMT

WODP wins our backsides

So a couple of quick updates and ideas... First of all, we managed to auction off those two photocopies of our behinds for £15 on ebay (100% of the proceeds going to cancer research) not bad when...
Posted by on Mon, 23 Jan 2006 08:30:00 GMT

Charity Bum

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Signed-photocopy-of-Eugenes-bum-from-B ig-Brother-6_W0QQitemZ6597857537QQcategoryZ96821QQrdZ1QQcmdZ ViewItem Apparently theres a club in London called Office party which has gia...
Posted by on Tue, 17 Jan 2006 01:19:00 GMT