Howard profile picture

Howard

No... this doesn't taste like happiness. It's more like burnt yogurt.

About Me

IF YOU WISH TO ADD ME TO YOUR FRIENDS, SEND ME A MESSAGE FIRST TELLING ME WHO YOU ARE (I MEAN LIKE, UNLESS I ALREADY CLEARLY KNOW YOU FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE). IF YOU FAIL TO DO THIS, YOUR REQUEST WILL BE IGNORED.For thirty-five hours a week, I lead a gray little existence behind an office desk but, for the rest of the time, I strive to have some sort of a life and be myself. I've previously lived in Colchester, Islington and Berlin, but was born in London and have lived in the southern part of the city for the most of my time on Earth. It's okay most of the time.I also work as a freelance artist and illustrator (I would chose to do this full-time if there was steady enough work, but then life's a bitch) and I write fiction - I have done a few short stories and my first full novel (written under a pseudonym) is now available to buy; learn more here . Sometimes I go off on other weird tangents, like sketching things in museums or cemeteries, drawing comics or making short films for my own amusement, about zombies or lap-dancing bananas. I'm getting more and more obsessed with Flash animation and one day hope to open up my own site dedicated to my cartoons.
Visit

hgillustration.co.uk

for the official website of my art and illustration...
...visit

my eBay shop

to purchase works of my art...
...or visit

My page on Newgrounds.com

to see the animations I've made so far, OR...
Buy my book!!I like to hang out with friends, have the occasional drink, see live bands or going to pubs or clubs. I've been passionately into gothic/industrial music since my teens; you might also catch me listening to eighties cheese, classical music or other types from time to time though - I can be a bit unpredictable.
It has been alleged I edited my profile with Thomas' Myspace Editor V4.4

My Interests

absinth, apple computers, berlin, black coffee, brighton, comics, dali, devonshire arms, francis bacon, gerhard richter, glowsticks, goth, hieronymous bosch, insomnia, lava lamps, leipzig, leonardo da vinci, max ernst, mimbo the invisible goat, new rock boots, olives, philosophy, pvc, reading, ren and stimpy, robospex, rubber ball, science fiction, slimelight, surrealism, synthetic culture, tattoos, terry pratchett, torture garden, twin peaks, ulysses 31, vegetarianism, vodka, whitby goth weekend, writing, zombies, electric ballroom, flash animation, website design

I'd like to meet:

As friends: People with interests similar to my own, who I can have a laugh and discuss random crap with.Creatively: I'm always looking out for potential art buyers, magazine editors, that kind of thing. Got an idea for a project (either for profit or a laugh) and want to collaborate? Fine, get in touch, we can discuss it.I'd prefer to meet people with similar musical tastes, perhaps into your books or films, art, gigs, clubs, that kinda thing. I'm a freelance artist/illustrator and an aspiring writer, so I do tend to spend a lot of my time pursuing these dreams, but everyone needs a distraction occasionally. I work hard and I play hard. And I can also be fond of sleeping at times.

Music:

VNV Nation, Apoptygma Berzerk, NIN, The Doors, The Cure, Marilyn Manson, Depeche Mode, Die Krupps, Skinny Puppy, KMFDM, Laibach, Frank Sinatra, Felix Mendelssohn and his Hawaiian Serenaders, Funker Vogt, The Prodigy, industrial music, Rammstein, techno, Beethoven, The Aphex Twin, Mussorgsky, Holst, Verdi, Goldfrapp, Duran Duran, The Smiths, Wesley Willis, Throbbing Gristle, Wagner, The Pet Shop Boys, Adam Ant, Garbage, Gary Numan, Placebo, Kreuzdammer, David bowie, Death In Vegas, Icon of Coil, Snake River Conspiracy, Orgy, Front 242, Delerium, Combichrist, Tears for Fears, Beborn Beton, The Birthday Massacre

Movies:

Eraserhead, Dune, Fight Club, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Dr Strangelove, Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal, THX 1138, The Shining, The Grudge, Withnail and I, Beavis and Butthead Do America, Donnie Darko, Ed Wood, Time Bandits, 12 Monkeys, Beetlejuice, Sleepy Hollow, Brazil, The Matrix, Starship Troopers, Back To The Future, Pan's Labyrinth

Television:

Alan Partridge, The Day Today, Brass Eye, The Young ones, The Simpsons, Twin Peaks, Little Britain, Bottom, Blackadder, Mythbusters, Ulysses 31, Button Moon, Dangermouse, Ren and Stimpy, Aeon Flux, Captain Scarlet, Monty Python, Dr Who, 15 Storeys High, Peepshow, The Prisoner, Red Dwarf, Salad Fingers, Lost, Saxondale, Time Trumpet, The Mighty Boosh, Monkey Dust

Books:

Hitch Hikers Guide, Nineteen Eighty-Four, Anything by Iain Banks, Will Self, Philip K Dick, Terry Pratchett or HP Lovecraft. I intend to read the Harry Potter books one day, but now face quite a bit of catching up to do...

My Blog

Fortress Wood Green

The first twenty-four hours is done in my new surroundings. It's going well so far. Packing my belongings for a move always seems to unearth about five times the number of belongings I previously thou...
Posted by Howard on Mon, 26 May 2008 07:30:00 PST

The Nursery is now available on Amazon!

Yes it is! At last my debut novel is available to the masses.Click here to visit the Amazon pageWhilst I'm on the subject of my book, I should also mention it's been reviewed recently by the good peop...
Posted by Howard on Fri, 16 May 2008 12:46:00 PST

02 Ghosts I

My first animation of 2008 is finally complete! Earlier in the year, when the new Nine Inch Nails album "Ghosts I-IV" was released, the band announced a YouTube film festival, where fans are encourage...
Posted by Howard on Tue, 22 Apr 2008 02:51:00 PST

Bliss - new short story Ive written

Zoƫ rubbed her eyes and tried to re-focus them, but the room around her was still an uncomfortable and indistinct blur. Despite the protest of her muscles, she raised herself up on her elbows, took a ...
Posted by Howard on Fri, 11 Apr 2008 10:43:00 PST

BUY MY BOOK!!!

Hi,As you may, or may not, have known, I've been working on my first novel The Nursery for the last four years and it is now available in print. It is a science fiction/fantasy tale (in case you wonde...
Posted by Howard on Thu, 28 Feb 2008 02:47:00 PST

Skat Injector at the Underworld

Skat Injector's new line-up, with Rob on guitar and Rick with a fractured ankle"We're the shittest band in London!"Brutal Truth performingRick joins Brutal Truth on stageSo yeah, a good night. It was ...
Posted by Howard on Fri, 08 Feb 2008 06:17:00 PST

The universe may not only queerer than we imagine; it may be queerer than we CAN imagine

I always suspected there was something going on with cheese squares....
Posted by Howard on Wed, 23 Jan 2008 03:03:00 PST

2007

1 - What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?Stood in front of an audience and played a guitar. And only got booed off stage once out of the four times.2 - Did you keep your new years' res...
Posted by Howard on Wed, 19 Dec 2007 12:37:00 PST

Another short story (Progenitor)

ProgenitorBy Howard Gardner"A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg."- Samuel Butler"I can't believe they'd think of building a thing like that. Building it anywhere, now you mention it. I do...
Posted by Howard on Fri, 12 Oct 2007 01:08:00 PST

The world continues on its way to hell

See?
Posted by Howard on Thu, 04 Oct 2007 01:38:00 PST