melanie profile picture

melanie

Various high-pitched noises and grunting.

About Me

I never smile if I can help it. Showing teeth is a submission signal in primates. When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life. Where would I go if I could travel anywhere? I CAN travel anywhere (except Cuba), and I WILL travel to New Zealand, and walk the Lord of the Rings trail to Mordor. And then I will hike Mount Doom. Also, best advice ever? "Don't be an idiot." It changed my life. Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, "Would an idiot do that?" And if they would, I do NOT do that thing.------------------------------------------------------ --------

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My Interests

Cereal for dinner. Everything nerdy. Nothing cool. Like motorcycles, or piercings, or shaved heads, or mascara, or airbrushing, or daiquiris. None of those things.

I'd like to meet:

baby sloths, and...

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Music:

The Sundays, the first 2 Weezer records, OWEN, Jim O'Rourke, The Sea and Cake, Pharell, Beyonce, Radiohead, Sonic Youth, Cibo Matto and related bands, Joan of Arc and related bands, The Beatles, Harry Nilsson, Polaris (the music of Pete and Pete), Bjork, Mum, Morrisey, Air, Animal Collective, Built to Spill, some Coldplay, My Bloody Valentine, Tortoise, They Might Be Giants, Yo La Tengo, that one amazing Rufus Wainwright song (The Art Teacher), The Beach Boys, Spiritualized, Sigur Ros, Telefon Tel Aviv, The Wrong History, Endian, Belong, Pavement, Broadcast, Nick Drake, Broken Social Scene, other stuff.

Movies:

Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amelie Poulain, Office Space, I '3' Huckabees, Charade, The Philadelphia Story, Bringing Up Baby, Anchorman, Dirty Work, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, The Big Lebowski, any Wes Anderson, any science documentary (does that count?), Run Ronnie Run, Bongwater (which sounds like the most ridiculous teencrap movie but is actually really funny), Poltergeist, the VH1 airing of Showgirls (because they superimpose black/nude-colored strapless bras and panties over all the girls' naked bodies...and don't forget the great dance moves), RENT (even though I haven't seen it, I KNOW it is brilliant), and I don't know if this one counts either, but Hell's Bells (that video they make you watch in Catholic High School about how if you play Queen and Led Zeppelin backwards, the devil tells you to smoke marijuana, etc.). I like to mix it up.

Television:

Gilmore Girls (!), Scrubs, Will and Grace, PBS, Discovery Science Channel, Mystery!, America's Next Top Model, NOVA, The Office, The O.C. (mostly the portions containing Seth Cohen), Project Runway, and of course, Late Night With Conan O'Brian.

Books:

Agatha Christie, Harry Potter, Ayn Rand, Anne of Green Gables, Marguerite Duras, Henry Miller, almost anything categorized as "young adult fiction," but actually almost anything that is published. And remotely entertaining. Also, I am a die-hard re-reader. I don't think I've ever read anything less than twice. Nerdy? Yes. Bored? Nope.

Heroes:

In New Orleans they're called po-boys. I like fried oyster, fried catfish, french fry, and most other fried seafood kind. I guess roast beef is good too.

My Blog

Cabbages and Kings

So sometimes at night when I'm by myself in my apartment, I hear weird noises. One of them is a distinct spaceship-like noise outside. It's like a low decibel WWWWOOOOOAAAWWWWNNN that sounds EXACTLY...
Posted by melanie on Sat, 18 Nov 2006 07:17:00 PST

"Hey, come heeyaah. Come ovah heeyyaaah."

Tonight, I was lucky enough to overhear a really unique conversation for a few seconds. Walking down the street were two interesting characters who appeared to be a couple, of sorts. A woman, shuffl...
Posted by melanie on Fri, 29 Sep 2006 09:25:00 PST

Crikey the Crocodile Hunter

Why is the Crocodile Hunter no longer a joke just because he died?? Does no one remember that episode where he dangled his baby in front of an alligator?? And I swear I'm not making a joke that mixe...
Posted by melanie on Fri, 08 Sep 2006 09:35:00 PST

Jock Jamz

I'm not very good at blogging, but I'm trying to improve to the degree that I feel comfortable saying, "I'm The One and Only Blogginator."
Posted by melanie on Sun, 03 Sep 2006 06:19:00 PST